E&E Downunder

Greta Maia Tjossem

2010-05-31T17:04:00.003+10:00

And then we were four....

2010-05-14T06:00:00.002+10:00

Baby Girl
May 6
3.410 Kilos
7 pounds, 5 oz.
name still pending

FINAL Platypus Diaries Part 10

2010-05-11T22:07:00.002+10:00

This is the tenth/final entry in the diary of my pregnancy. Because it would amount to many pages of reading to cover September through to the present day in one post, I've broken this up into readable bits. Here is part ten:

Platypus Diaries #10

7 April, 2010

The toddler book tells us there isn’t much we can do to prepare child number one for the arrival of child number two if child number one is under two years old. Still, we will try.

Among the various suggestions is the advice that we purchase a somewhat realistic doll and stoller/carseat/crib for the doll so that our toddler can have a baby of her own with which to play and nurture.

Tonight we presented a (scary realistic) doll and stroller set to our little toddler.

The result?

The stroller was a huge hit.

The doll didn’t fair so well.

The presentation of the two items was made with dolly strapped into stroller. After pushing the stoller gleefully around our apartment, our toddler decided that the extra weight in the front was unnecessary. She pulled at the doll until it was freed and she looked at it momentarily before flinging it to the floor and proceeding with her stroller antics.

A second attempt to reengage her interest in the doll was made and this time she accepted the doll from daddy’s hands and proceeded to grab it by the neck and knees before tossing it into a piece of furniture.

The third introduction resulted in dolly’s eyes being poked and a fling again to the floor. This was then followed by a round of something resembling CPR.

Madden is now asleep in her cot. The stroller is lovingly tucked away with her favorite toys. Dolly is unceremoniously laid in a heap somewhere on the floor near the kitchen sink.

This isn’t looking good.

21 April, 2010
If I would have known that March and April were still going to be summer (very unusual here), I would have definitely purchased more summer pregnancy clothing. My fall clothes are just being worn by hangars and may never touch my skin.

April 22, 2010
ONE DAY left at work! Yeah. I love that. Unpacked the car of all its gear yesterday and hauled it all up to the office. Finally, I have a backseat again and a back cargo compartment. Who knew there was all that space. Goodness, it needs a serious cleaning though. Once a year for the inside cleaning probably doesn’t cut it. I’d best put that on Eric’s “to do” list.

24 April, 2010
Madden had her first haircut today. Eric’s been urging it and I’ve been resisting. However, today I caved and we took her to the mall.
This is how the experience went:

The haircut itself is not good and reflects the non compliance of the customer. Now our beautiful daughter has a modified mullet…just in time to be captured forever with the first photos of her new sibling. Barrettes and hair bands to the rescue please!

1 May 2010
My friend Ady is in labor as I write this. I am so EXCITED for her and her husband Mick. Their toddler daughter is at our home for the night and she and Madden had a great time playing and chasing each other around and around our apartment. They each have little dolly strollers and it was like a derby in here. Eric and I just sat in amazement at the noise level and amount of squealing. Is this what our future holds?

2 May 2010
Proud to announce the safe arrival of my friend’s little baby boy, Flynn. Mick came over to our place this morning to pick up his daughter and bring her over to meet her little brother. I asked him how it all went and his reaction was that he didn’t want to have to lie to me and so it was better if I didn’t ask him any questions.
I will add that he looked as if he had just stormed the beach at Normandy. A Shell shocked man indeed.
Luckily, after speaking with Ady, her perspective was quite a bit better.
Mick’s response to Ady’s positive remembrance of the whole experience, “Endorphins.”

4 May 2010

Me: “Hey, Eric, have you seen my maternity sweatpants?”

Loving Spouse: “What do they look like?”

Me: “They are the ones I have been wearing almost every day now…HUGE, Black,
generally hard to miss!”

Loving Spouse: “I think they are in here...hanging up in the bathroom.”

Me: “Um… that would be my swimsuit.”

Loving Spouse who is now in trouble: “Oh, oops.”

Platypus Diaries Part #9

2010-05-06T22:54:00.001+10:00

This is the ninth entry in the diary of my pregnancy. Because it would amount to many pages of reading to cover September through to the present day in one post, I've broken this up into readable bits. Here is part nine:

Platypus Diaries #9

23 March
Attitude change. This is going to be my survival list. There are so many aches and pains and things to be negative about during the last trimester and I refuse to get sucked into a game of self pity. There are also SO MANY reasons to be joyous and happy. This is my third trimester happiness list:

1. There are only three trimesters and they do really fly by
2. Madden will have a sibling to keep her company and vice-versa
3. Soon we will have a sweet little baby who does everything for the very first time
4. I am happy to actually be pregnant at this age
5. So far, everything is normal and there have been no dramas
6. Strangers smile at me
7. I have a whole different wardrobe that I get to wear
8. Feeling warm means that I no longer need to carry a sweater ‘just in case’
9. Lack of judgment for eating a bit more than I used to
10. I get to sit down during surgeries
11. I always get a seat on the train
12. Patients ask me about my baby and tell me about their grandchildren and great grandchildren
13. Most people are happy in my presence – it’s hard to be angry at a pregnant woman
14. People open doors
15. The new hires at work usually get sent along with me for the day to serve as sherpas.
16. After dinner I usually play with Madden on the floor and Eric does the dishes
17. When my daughter sits on my lap, Eric laughs about her lumbar support cushion
18. I get to sleep with a fortress of pillows
19. Insomnia means that I’m very efficient even at 3AM.
20. My shadow is awesome
21. Naps
22. Nesting
23. Buying clothes in the 18-24 month size for one kid and stopping to have a look at the newborn selections as well
24. It’s the second time around – it just has to be easier, doesn’t it?
25. Having a two hour conversation where you discuss nothing but names
26. Laughing hysterically at a name that one of you loves and the other objects to strongly
27. The increase in the amount of emails from friends and family wondering if the time is near….
28. Baby movement!
29. The fact that my lovely Eric still thinks I’m beautiful

27 March
34 weeks. Made a move today to start prepping for baby…took down the box labeled “Madden clothing, 0-12 months”. I didn’t say I’ve opened the box yet, but it’s been located and is now at perusal level.
I would consider that step 1.

28 March
Happy Birthday Eric! I know that it was your day but I do appreciate the fact that you allowed me to take a 2 hour nap this afternoon. That made it feel like it was MY birthday too. Tee hee.
It was another (perhaps last?) hot day here in Melbourne. 31 degrees C, that’s 88 F, I’m truly going to implode.

Insomnia happens at this stage in pregnancy and when it hits, it just seems to linger on through a long night. It was fun to have a 2 am online conversation with Amy, AND I did get to publish to facebook this very cute photo of daddy and daughter….

Happy BDay.

29 March, 2010
Every now and again, the card calls to us from its location in the desk drawer. The card that I am refering to is the one sealed and labeled “BABY”. It is written by the ultrasound doctor and it indicates the sex of our little platypus. Today it is beckoning Eric, two days ago I swear it called me by name. Sometimes it tortures both of us and we promise that when we get home from wherever we are, we are going to open it and read it at long last.

But we don’t.

Ultimately we feel that the surprise is key to the whole experience. So, we go on engaging in this sort of torture and taunting.

It’s become a bit of a game. Eric wants to know the gender…he threatens to open the card… he pulls card dramatically out of desk drawer…he runs around the apartment carrying the card high over his head and pretending to rip into the seal…I scream and chase and we both end up laughing…he relinquishes the envelope and I pretend to hide it again from him in the exact same location from where it was just retrieved.

A week later we repeat the same sequence with each of us playing a different role.

6 April, 2010
My favorite maternity work shirt has become a definite NO. The problem with maternity clothing is that it really only lasts a trimester. What works in the beginning doesn’t even come close to fitting at the end and the stuff one wears during the final trimester looks hilarious at the beginning. The silk shirt in question has done me well so far…it’s a beautiful royal blue, it fits wonderfully and looks dressy and appropriate with just about everything. A real maternity hit. But now my belly button has decided to go out…and there is nothing a silk shirt reveals more than a strange little lump in the middle of the abdomen. When my husband says “NO WAY” to the shirt as I attempt to leave the house, I KNOW it’s not a good look.

Bye bye cute silk shirt – Hello, horrid tent clothing.

Platypus Diaries Part #8

2010-05-04T22:52:00.000+10:00

This is the eighth entry in the diary of my pregnancy. Because it would amount to many pages of reading to cover September through to the present day in one post, I've broken this up into readable bits. Here is part eight:

Platypus Diaries #8

4 March
30 weeks along. My body is definitely not my own. This little girl or boy in my belly is surely going to be a soccer player.
***
People are starting to comment on my body and I’m feeling increasingly self conscious. Yes, I’m pregnant. No, I’m not having twins. Yes, I do notice that you are looking at my belly (or my chest). No, it doesn’t help to know that so and so was smaller than me or that so and so was bigger than me (ok, I lie, that last one does help a bit).

The ONLY appropriate thing to say to a pregnant woman is the following statement, “You look beautiful.” It may be the biggest lie you’ve ever told, but PLEASE remember this and don’t say anything else, even if the pregnant woman is your best friend/daughter/wife/sister/etc and you feel entirely comfortable in commenting about your bodies at any other time. Repeat after me, “You look Beautiful.” That’s all you need to say. We can all go about our business living the lie.

11 March
Glucose challenge time. This is the stage in the pregnancy where one is required to drink a sugar infused beverage (sort of like a concentrated sprite with 3 times the amount of sugar), followed by a few blood tests an hour later. The end results provide details on whether a patient has gestational diabetes. My results were fine – no diabetes – hooray.
However, the doctor did say that my Vitamin D was low and that my iron was “VERY low”. He didn’t say how low but I know doctors don’t use the word ‘very’ lightly, so I’m now on some iron supplements.

17 March
I’m tired of being hot. According to the newspaper, this is the longest warm stretch that Melbourne has ever experienced. It’s not unbearable heat, but it’s somewhat unrelenting. High 80’s/low 90’s day after day. I find I wear the same outfits to work about every 4 days. I keep thinking I’ll be pulling out the fall wardrobe any day now, but I may make it through to Mat leave on just a limited summer preg wardrobe.

18 March
Unable to take the heat and sick of my clothing, I stopped in a maternity store and asked if they had any markdowns on summer items. Talk about perfect timing! There was a whole rack that had just been marked down to $20 per item. Found a great maxi dress, originally $140, now just $20. The same with a shirt and a pair of Capri jeans. Ahh, so decadent to have a small clothing infusion this late in the game.

20 March
Friday. On Monday I thought I wouldn’t be able to finish out the week at work. I was exhausted, hot, and faint. Today, two of my coworkers and one customer told me how much better I looked. When pushed, each person told me how white and unwell I had been looking for the last several weeks.
I must admit I do feel SO MUCH BETTER than I have for about a month. I haven’t really noticed my own paleness, but I have noticed that I feel faint A LOT. Do you suppose the iron supplements have made the difference?
If that’s the case, I’m glad to have them and wish I’d taken that blood test earlier!

21 March
Went to a movie yesterday– seats didn’t recline. Baby awake entire time and kicking and rolling in my belly. The movie was “The Hurt Locker.” I really wanted to get into it, but I was so uncomfortable that it made it difficult to concentrate.
At one point, I tried to be funny and asked Eric if he thought it would be rude if I took off my pants.
He shushed me.

22 March, 2010
33 weeks pregnant. 7 weeks remaining.
Weight gain so far: 11.5 kilos/ 25 pounds
Maximum amount that I was hoping to gain for duration of pregnancy: 25 pounds

Platypus Diaries #7

2010-05-02T22:47:00.000+10:00

This is the seventh entry in the diary of my pregnancy. Because it would amount to many pages of reading to cover September through to the present day in one post, I've broken this up into readable bits. Here is part seven:

Platypus Diaries #7

January 17, 2010
Cheese corn. Why doesn’t this country have cheese corn?

January 18
24 weeks today. The weather was a perfect 73 degrees and we went out on a family bike ride. The bicycle seat was our gift to Madz when she turned 1 year old. It was more like a gift for ourselves (which you can get away with when they are just 1!). Toddler girl loves her bike seat, tolerates the helmet, and we love the freedom that this has brought. I was pregnant when we purchased the seat and knew that my days of riding a bike were numbered. Admittedly, I probably shouldn’t be on the bike now but I just couldn’t resist a day like today. Eric carried the backpack diaper bag and Madden on his bike and all I had to do was pedal my own power. Still, I kept slipping farther and farther behind the two of them. A high pitched, exasperated yell of “Slow down” became my mantra. I tried to keep up and would finally round a bend and find the two of them waiting for me. They would be cheery and rested and I would ride up panting and laughing like some sort of crazed asthmatic. We eventually stopped at a park and stopped again for lunch along the path. We rode slowly and scenically home along the trail. The return trip faired much better despite the pride swallowing event of being passed by a bicycle riding pack of six year olds.

February 22, 2010
29 weeks already.
It’s been hot here. 90 plus degrees every weekend and I can’t stop complaining. Wow, pregnant in summer is more difficult than pregnant in winter.

Madden and I went to the pool yesterday while Eric went to the grocery store. I just couldn’t take the heat and HAD to get to the pool. We were there about 45 minutes in total. 30 minutes of it were great – life altering – cooling – relaxing -and refreshing as we both just sat and played in the kiddie pool. For the last 15 minutes of our time, Madden had a tantrum of magnificent proportions. She was exhausted, frustrated by other kids in the pool, and hungry. Everyone was staring at the two of us as I finally wrangled her from running around the pool, laid her screaming little body onto the towel and changed her kicking legs out of swim nappy and into dry nappy and cover up. Then I had to try and keep her contained as I dried off and threw a cover up over my massive bikini clad self. Her sobs were incredible and another woman at the pool who was managing her FOUR boys regarded me sympathetically. She faired better with her four than I did with my one.
By the time Eric rounded the pick up circle, I was a wet mess holding and hugging a tear stained little girl. She was holding me tightly, gasping, and resting her head on my shoulder. I was happy to have all those cuddles coming my way. I guess after the tantrum comes the sweetness.

28 Feb
We’ve worked out what we’re going to do with Madden when I go into labor. OK, are you ready for this plan? We have some British friends here that are also expecting a child and their baby is due just a week before ours. They have a daughter who is 2 ½ and no family support around either. We have decided between the four of us adults, we can work something out.
Of course, if we go into labor at the same time, we are all equally in trouble. At least I'll have a friend in the hospital with me.

Platypus Diaries Part #6

2010-04-30T22:45:00.000+10:00

This is the sixth entry in the diary of my pregnancy. Because it would amount to many pages of reading to cover September through to the present day in one post, I've broken this up into readable bits. Here is part six:

Platypus Diaries #6

January 8, 2010
41 today. That’s not the temperature, it’s my age. Gulp.
Speaking of temperature, it was hot – high 90’s. I took the day off work (mainly because I just feel too sorry for myself if I work on my birthday), got a massage which was only mildly nice since they didn’t have any sort of pregnancy pillows and laying on my belly wasn’t pleasant (but heck, it’s a massage, and that’s always nice), and then went off to the public pool with Madden, Eric, and my 39 week pregnant friend Paige.
We were in our bikinis with our big bellies hanging out. Eric took a photo of us which will NEVER be posted on this blog. The pool was packed with people and there was no shortage of pregnant women in bikini’s. Gotta love the body confidence of the Aussie women!

January 11, 2010
Dear Baby number two,
I am sorry that you are not getting the same attention that your sister did when she was in my belly. I have no excuses….I guess I’m just distracted by your sister and focusing on the day to day. Your life so far has gone so fast for me. I can’t believe that you are 23 weeks already! I sometimes read the baby books to find out how big that you are and it is amazing that you have all your parts – a beating heart, lungs, kidneys, 2 hemispheres of the brain, all your cells, 10 fingers, 10 toes, legs, arms, knees, and elbows. I’m sorry that I don’t think about you all the time. Sometimes I look down at my belly and have a moment of shock before remembering that you are in there. You can keep giving me those gentle kicks as a reminder of your presence. It’s particularly funny when you kick me when your sister is sitting on my lap.

The only consolation I may offer is that I was a second child myself and probably didn’t get the same attention either. Does that help?

January 16, 2010
I cried today. I cried about something that happened to someone else 40 years ago. Maybe I didn’t get enough sleep last night as my emotions are a bit on the edge. Before having Madden, I would hear tragic stories involving children and they would give me pangs but since Madden was born, these same stories haunt and terrify me. I can’t bear to hear them.
Today a patient was asking about my pregnancy and we got to talking about children and distances between kids, etc. She mentioned that she had two girls but one of them died rather unexpectedly at the age of 15. Then she looked away and her face showed such pain. It was 40 years ago for her and she’s moved on but she said you never really get over it. How could you?
I was home about two hours later after finishing all my patient checks and I started to tell Eric the story. I choked and then I lost it. I cried for someone else’s lost child from over 40 years ago.

Calling for Entries

2010-04-29T03:00:00.000+10:00

The countdown begins…
Maternity leave has officially begun and the due date is just two weeks away!

Now is the time to cast your predictions.
The winner will receive one year’s free subscription to our blog (ha) and notoriety in knowing that you are the winner.

Here is how to cast your vote…
Reply through the “comments” section of the blog, or send an email to Eric at etjossem@gmail.com or me at lampert@rocketmail.com. List your prediction for gender, due date, and weight. All official entries will be posted. The bidding stops on the 6th of May or before if the baby decides it wants to be known earlier. So vote early!

As an FYI, the actual due date is May 10. (If it helps further, my daughter weighed 8 lbs 7 oz and was born 8 days late)

The winner will be evaluated in this order:
1. Gender of child
2. Due date
3. Weight

All entries are welcome, but just know that you may not be on my good side if you choose to pick a date in June, or a baby over 10 lbs.

Also of interest to us is your suggestion for a name...

Happy guessing.

Platypus Diaries Part #5

2010-04-28T03:00:00.001+10:00

This is the fifth entry in the diary of my pregnancy. Because it would amount to many pages of reading to cover September through to the present day in one post, I've broken this up into readable bits. Here is part five:

Platypus Diaries #5

December 2, 2009
I’m officially at 17 weeks. This pregnancy is going so much faster than the last. Is that really possible?

I’ve told work and some of my customers, but not all of them. I thought I was hiding it well as I am still able to fit into my suits. Granted, the buttons are under serious strain, but heck, I consider it a success that I can still button them at all.
However, someone asked me today if I was expecting. That’s a mighty bold and dangerous thing to do and I realize I’m not hiding anything. I’d better start telling people.

December 8, 2009
This pregnancy comes with different food cravings. Last time I was mad for sweets and this time it’s a salt obsession. We can’t keep enough pickles in the house. Don’t judge me on this, but when I eat all the pickles, I find myself drinking the brine.

Sorry, did that admission make you feel sick?

My regular lunchtime sandwich consists of pastrami, cream cheese, and pickles. I think that would normally not sound appealing to me.

Could this craving for salt determine something about the child’s gender?

I searched the internet and found a 50 question quiz regarding symptoms and old wives tales to help determine the sex of the child. Indeed, it did have questions about sweet and salty cravings, so I knew we were onto something.

I took the quiz.

I hit the button to reveal the sex of my child.

It took a moment to process the results.

This is what it read…

“Congratulations, the chance of you having a boy is 50% and the chance of you having a girl is 50%”

December 16, 2009
20 week scan and final ultrasound was done today. Baby, you were in the perfect position to tell us whether you are a boy or girl. But Daddy and Mommy chose not to know. We loved the surprise so much last time that we are a bit addicted to it. Yes, it would be easier to pick out all blue or all pink baby items. Yes, it would be easier to focus on one name instead of two…but we have decided that we aren’t meant to know and we shall save it for the day you are born.
We did however have the ultrasound doctor write down your gender on a note card and seal it up. We are going to carry that card with us to Minnesota and offer it to the grandparents if they would like to see. Grandma Tjossem wants to make a quilt in the proper colors (your sisters is yellow and blue), so I imagine she will be happy to find out.

December 27, 2010
My friend KP got married last night. She was the one with whom I shared a great adventure to Bali. When we went to Bali, I was 12 weeks pregnant with Madden. As you can see from the photo, I'm not hiding anything this time around either.
Congratulations beautiful Kathy. I wish you a future of happiness and love.

January 6, 2010
By the way, grandma wouldn’t open the card. She knew that she couldn’t keep a secret from us.

Judgment

2010-04-26T22:20:00.002+10:00

Oh, the blog. It's been SO violated. My little piece of joy where I feel like I can post my feelings and say my peace...where I can write stories that may be a bit exaggerated but hopefully make people laugh...it all came crashing down for me yesterday.
I want to post, to retaliate, to not care, to assert myself, to become a fabulous hacker and destroy these people...
I've been cyber bullied, and it sucks.
Some horrid woman found my "Toddlerhood: A play in two parts" entry and wrote that I was an entitled and terrible mother. Then she took my post, cut it and pasted it to some etiquette web site for all to comment upon. Stupid people took my humor post as literal and hordes of commentators all ripped me and my parenting to shreds.

Strangely, what they say about my parenting doesn’t bother me because they don't know me and they obviously took a humorous post as literal and entirely out of context. None of these people have seen all the entries about how much we love being parents and what really goes on...the only example they are shown is the one story about Madden in a pharmacy.

However, I do feel like I've been stolen from and violated in a very personal way. It frightens me and makes me want to shut down the blog or mark it private or retaliate in some way (but I know that would do no good). Those people are just not worth my time...but if I were to tell you that it didn't make me cry on and off all yesterday afternoon, I'd be lying.

I love blogging and what is upsetting is that somehow this person (and people) have tainted what I shared so openly. I feel violated, like someone broke into my house and slept in my bed and damaged my things. My writing is stolen, taken out of context, and laid out wide open for a bunch of strangers to destroy. My blood is boiling and yet I am also deeply hurt.

People write their silly comments and go on with their day.
But for me, the damage kept me awake most of the night.
In a week’s time, I will get rid of the comments and put them in the blog trash pile where they belong, but for now I've left them attached to the post so you can have a look and see the fuel and the fire that spread.

The woman who did the damage left no contact information… she posted with a name and nothing more. She is both spineless and vindictive.

Eric has encouraged me to continue writing and not to mark the blog as private. He is correct that I can’t let this get to me. When we had it marked private in the past, all our family and friends had trouble accessing the site. Besides, the comments that I receive from strangers have been 100% welcome and wonderful…. until now.

If there are any lessons to be taken away from this experience, they are as follows:

1. I will now screen my comments and not allow rude people to post anything at all on our personal blog.

2. It seems I need to include a disclaimer before my “stories” to state that they may be enhanced by a bit of poetic license. Apparently there are people out there that don’t know a piece of humor writing when they read it.

3. The biggest lesson I am choosing to take from this is a caution regarding judgment. It’s ironic that this somehow ended up on an etiquette web site, for the worst etiquette violation is what this woman did to me. She didn’t write to me…she just choose to steal from me. I have an email address listed…she could have written to me, but she didn’t. She interpreted what I wrote incorrectly and put me out in cyber space for judgment and ridicule.
I am unable to defend myself or even be given a chance.
I will not wait for an “I’m sorry” that will never come.
In my own life, I will seek not to judge. That’s the good that I can take from this. After all, what do we REALLY know about someone else? It may seem harmless to poke fun and insert one’s opinion…but I’ve just been on the receiving end of something a lot of people probably thought was harmless and I can tell you that it is not fun.

Tomorrow is my first day of maternity leave and I want to enjoy it and not be consumed by this crazy onslaught of feelings. Tonight I am freeing myself of these people and their ridiculous comments…I will take back my power and not give them another thought.

My life is too good and happy for this; I have no room for them.

P.S. Special thank you to Jenni from Oscarelli and to Anna Sullivan for the quick email returns, your encouragement, and insightful thoughts about these anonymous commenter’s. Your words of wisdom are being taken in and I’m trying desperately to let them resonate.

2010-04-17T22:28:00.000+10:00

Toddlerhood: A play in two parts

The Set: Posh neighborhood pharmacy
The actors: Heavily pregnant me, my squirmy independence–seeking toddler, sales person A, Sales person B, Other customer

ACT I:

The Setup: Madden and I enter pharmacy. Doors are propped open onto busy street.
Note to self: Madden likes to run, she will run in street if left on her own, I am not a fast runner these days, probably best to hold daughter tightly.
Sales people who are usually quick to offer help are busy chatting at counter with another customer. I seek out product on my own.

Action: Product is on glass shelf, Madden’s kicking legs not conducive to product retrieval from high shelf. In amount of time it takes me to get product, daughter has managed to grab two shampoo bottles, topple over a small display of makeup and has bolted with stolen shampoo towards the open door.

Action continues: Pregnant woman run/waddles to door and grabs shampoo stealing toddler. Toddler unhappy to be stopped begins protesting loudly. Door buzzer is activated as to signal customer is entering/exiting store. BZZZZ sound of buzzer as we stand in doorway trying to get ourselves sorted. Buzzer continues to go off incessantly as pregnant self scoops unhappy shampoo throwing daughter into arms. Retrieval of shampoo bottles that are now rolling down sidewalk ensues.

Action continues: Eventually things are returned to their place and desired product purchase is brought to counter. Daughter placed on counter while I try to get wallet from bag.
Customer B is being helped by makeup counter with Sales person B. They are doing their best to ignore the commotion.
Sales person A has been hiding in pharmacy area but appears at last to ring up my order.

Dialogue:

Sales person A; “Oh, I see that you are buying the Clarins product….blah, blah, blah….”

Madden: “Arrghhh, waahhh”

Sales person A: “Did you know that Clarins is running a special if you buy two products from their line, you get a FREE gift with purchase.”

Me: (thinking to myself) Well, it’s not really free if I have to buy two things to get it…but hey, I use this stuff so I’ll get two and get the ‘free’ item. “Yeah, OK, I’ll take two of this same product.”

Madden: Wiggling and now climbing off counter. Arm twisted. Protesting loudly.

Sales person A: “The free gift comes in three types – dry skin, normal skin, oily skin…”

Me: (thinking again). Oh, for crying out loud, just give me the damn ‘free’ gift. “Dry skin please, thank you.”

ACT II:

Action: Sales person A goes to retrieve ‘free’ gift while toddler wiggles free and again makes a line for the front door. I take off in pursuit but she deceptively darts down a different aisle where she throws herself onto a pile of cosmetic bags. Laughing hysterically, she grabs a bag and again rounds a bend toward the door. I intercept her with skill and precision in a mighty fine swoop and scoop that leaves her stunned and amazed by her big mommy’s fortitude. “Ah, hah” I give her a little tickle and we return to the counter.

Sales person A is now helping customer B. In fact, both sales people are now with customer B. Apparently there is a bit of drama about whether something comes in powder or liquid. Certainly this crisis of makeup is far more important than getting a frantic pregnant lady and her unhappy toddler out of the store.

We have approximately 3 minutes before Madden is going to go ballistic.
Countdown:
Minute 1, Sales people are still gathered for liquid vs. powder summit.

Minute 2, Sales person A sees me at counter and shows signs
of nervousness.

Minute 3, Sales person A breaks away to find “Dry skin” free gift.
(Me, thinking again: “WTF lady, get over here and finish this…don’t you see
we are approaching take off???!!!)

Minute 4, It is over. We have lost. There is no control. Screaming
is happening. Madden wants out. She demands freedom. Sales person is
too late. A monster has been created and there will be no containment.

Action:
I can’t hear myself. I have no idea what the total amount is. There is a receipt to sign and I manage something illegible. The sales person takes forever to verify my signature. This is ridiculous. Madden twists free of my hold and bolts again towards door and around pharmacy. Nothing is safe. The toothpaste aisle is freed from its precision stacking and the colgate is laid out without pattern upon the carpet. I try to contain and restack but cannot manage it all. Madden again captured and once again lifted and placed onto counter. Sales person looks irritated. I explain that if I put her down, she will bolt out door. Why are the doors open anyway???? Sales person again looks irritated and as I fumble around, she says kindly that she will watch Madden on the ground if I would like to put my things into my take away bag. (Clearly the counter is no place to set one’s child.)

Me: (thinking)You are ON lady. What, you don’t think my kid will run from you too? Ha! Just you wait and see.

Action continues:
I carefully place Madden on floor and begin to place my purchases into my diaper/handbag. Like the little bullet that she is, Madden takes off for another fun game of squealing and chasing. Sales person (in high heels) runs after her and fails to catch her. Madden does a full circle and ends up running wildly into the pharmacy back room. Sales person A is running about 10 feet behind her and clearly wishes she had just let me keep my kid on the counter. I have finished placing my purchases into my bag. Another customer appears near the register. Sales person A stops her pursuit and saunters up to thecounter to eagerly wait on other customer. She shrugs in my direction and I go behind the pharmacy counter to find my toddler gathering containers from shelf and beginning early career as a pharmacist.

Platypus Diaries Part #4

2010-04-14T22:11:00.001+10:00

This is the fourth entry in the diary of my pregnancy. Because it would amount to many pages of reading to cover September through to the present day in one post, I've broken this up into readable bits. Here is part four:

Platypus Diaries #4

September
Had my first OB appointment today. I’m feeling a bit better than last pregnancy and I attribute it to NOT taking the prenatal vitamins. My OB confirmed it…he said that they do indeed make pregnant women more nauseous but he doesn’t tell us that because he wants us to take them. I guess I just felt so lousy last time that I can’t bear the thought of taking them and feeling worse again. He asked if I could find it in my heart to take one every now and again. I’ll try.

Last pregnancy, Eric came to almost every (he missed just one) OB appointment with me. Naturally, the office staff asked where Eric was this time around. I was happy to report that he was home with our little girl. Then the OB expressed his disappointment in not seeing Eric. He wanted to know how he was, what he was doing, and if he would be at the next appointment. When I was leaving, he told me to make sure that I said hi to Eric for him. Then as I passed by the reception desk, the secretary asked me to bring Eric around next time.
Perhaps they wished that Eric was the pregnant one.
Eric. Eric. Eric.
Sheeesh.

P.S. Look who is ONE...

October 7
We went on the most beautiful and wonderful vacation with Madden and Eric’s parents.
The place was called Port Douglas and probably deserves an entry all on its own. The need for a vacation was SO GREAT. We haven’t had a real vacation in a long long time and it was so welcome. I thought a week would be long enough to get bored, but I could have swam in that pool and walked that beach for another week at least.

The only issue was a horrid rash that Madden developed over every square inch of her body. We first noticed it on the plane ride and then watched it get worse and worse over the next few days. When it covered her face and hands, we finally decided we should probably take her to the local doctor. She didn’t have any other symptoms…no complaining, no fever, and no restlessness. She isn’t much of a complainer anyway, but she wasn’t even attempting to scratch these bumps.

When we showed her to the doctor, his reaction was much bigger than we expected. It sort of made us feel like crap parents. We were just hoping he would ease our fears a bit. He said he couldn’t really do that, because it was a bad rash and he really had no idea what it was. He gave us an Rx for an antibiotic and told us to wash her with this antibacterial stuff 2 to 3 times a day.

That was it.

We washed and washed her. She had the rash the whole week and then some but she never complained. Although she looked terrible, she still acted like the happy baby that she is.

October 8

Eric’s folks babysat Madden and we were sent out on a mission to buy Prawns. Since we had seen people buying bags of them directly from the boats in the harbor, we headed down that way.

Standing on the dock of the marina in Port Douglas, we saw a family walking towards us. Well, the parents were walking and the kids were being dragged. One wanted to run and the other was having a meltdown.

We stood in silence and watched as they ambled down the dock, passed us by with kids getting louder and louder, and eventually could be heard screaming their way out into the parking lot.

After a long while, this was our conversation.

Me: “I’m scared.”
Eric: “Uh huh”
(long pause)
“Me too.”
Me: “We may have some challenging years ahead.”
Eric: (long silence)
Me: “Don’t leave me.”
Eric: (longer silence still)
“I’m in if you’re in.”

October 15, 2009
Received a disturbing email (again!) from daycare. This time, kids are coming down with Fifth’s Disease , otherwise known as Slapped Cheek Syndrome. That sounds like a joke and I seriously never knew there were so many illnesses kids can contract.
Daycare = Germ Factory
The illness causes a rash all over the body and doesn’t really have any other symptoms but can be very harmful to the fetus of pregnant women in the first trimester.

We looked it up on Wikipedia. The picture of the kid in the photo looked just like Madden did when she had her rash in Port Douglas. Without a doubt, she had that illness.

I tried to be calm. Eric tried to be calm.
But for the first time in this less emotional pregnancy, I couldn’t stop the tears from flowing. I cried and cried.

I went off and got the appropriate blood tests straight away. We should know this week if I’m immune to this disease. If I am, it means my baby can’t be affected. If I don’t have immunity, I’ll need to go in for more tests and some extra ultrasounds to monitor the heart function of the baby.

November 2, 2009
I’m immune. I’m immune. RELIEF.

Platypus Diaries Part #3

2010-04-12T21:56:00.001+10:00

This is the third entry in the catch up of the Platypus Diaries (the diary of my second pregnancy). Because it would amount to many pages of reading to cover September through to the present day in one post, I've broken this up into readable bits. Here is part three:

Platypus Diaries #3

Sept 23
Last years due date. I was huge. I was scared. I thought I was carrying a little boy. I was not one of those cute little pregnant things where people commented on my ‘adorable’ little belly. I made a thunderous sound when I walked. My arches were hurting in my feet. Walking up a small hill or flight of stairs felt every bit as difficult as hiking in the mountains. I had to pee every 10 minutes. My face was puffy. I cried a lot at my own misery. I was uncomfortable. I felt ugly. I had dark pregnancy related blotches on my face. I craved ice cream and nothing else. In many ways I was glad that my hideousness was being hidden from those I knew in Minnesota.
On this date last year, I still had 8 days to go. Thank goodness I didn’t know that at the time.
**********
This morning we did the long drive out to the airport to welcome the arrival of Eric’s parents. I took the day off work and we were all excited to greet them. Their flight arrived but they didn’t appear. An hour went by and flights from other countries came in. People funneled out to greet their families but there was no sign of the parents Tjossem. Time passed but they just didn’t appear. Eventually we gave up and headed home to see if we could get a bit more information. It turns out they missed their flight in LA sometime yesterday.

September 24, 2009
The grandparents have arrived in Melbourne! Eric and Madden picked them up at the airport this morning and I’m sure that was really fun for all involved. I haven’t seen them yet, but I know they are all here and relaxing at our apartment. I’ll be racing home as soon as work is finished.

Sept 25
My mom sent an email to Madden asking her how she was enjoying her Grandparents – live and in person – rather than via Skype.
This is Madden’s reply:

Dear Grandma Namesake,

The other Skype grandparents came out of the computer and are here in our apartment.

Guess what?...They have legs!

I was afraid of them to start with and only wanted to cling to my daddy at the airport. But Daddy and Mummy seemed happy to see these Skype people and so I decided to warm up as well.

They seem OK to me now. Especially the bald one as he gave me cookies.

I now know that my mummy and daddy have been holding out on me. They actually used to make me think that bread and peas were treats! I'm onto them now.

The Grandma here reads to me and cuddles me. I keep looking at her and almost going to her, but turn around and dive into my mummies lap instead. Maybe if grandma had cookies...

I played so hard yesterday that I was exhausted and had to go to sleep a bit early. I was eager to get up this morning and since I'm now sharing a room with Mummy and Daddy, they can't get away or hide from me. I know they are out there. I can see them when I look over the top of my crib. Mummy says, '5 more minutes Madden" and Daddy says something about it being before 6AM. I don't think they hear me, so I speak up and start chanting "dadadada" quite loudly. Mummy usually says something about my sibling and needing sleep and so dada gets me out of my cot and we go play in the living room. He lies on the couch and I play with toys until he finally sees how much fun I'm having and joins me.

The Skype grandparents brought all kinds of new clothes that mommy ordered online for daddy and me. Today I wore four different outfits from them. Apparently I need a lot of changing because I get them dirty and stinky and because I drool a lot. They also brought mummy some maternity clothing and some chocolates and her favorite American toothpaste.

There was talk of babies this morning and lots of hugging and happy Skype grandparents. Grandma Skype said that she was eager to talk with you. I don't know what this means for me, but I'll be happy about it as long as I don't have to share my toys or my mummy or daddy.

I love you Grandma and can't wait to see you at Christmas,
Madden

Sept 27
When I was pregnant with Madden, my workplace sent me an aussie comedic pregnancy book called “Up the Duff”. Up the Duff is the Aussie equivalent of “Knocked’ Up” although somewhat more crude. Anyway, it’s quite funny and took a look at it to see what the baby is up to at this point. The baby is about 1 inch long; it is getting little ears and has tiny little fingers and toes. However, the book did say it’s a bit too early to play “This little Piggy went to Market” unless I want to change the words to “This little Webby thing went to Market”.

Sept 29
I got invited to a dual 40th birthday party for our friends Chuck and Christine. I replied to the evite in the “out of town” section, wished them each a happy birthday, and then began to think about those little and big events we have missed over the past two years.

I realized I’m lonely. This happened to me last time during the 1st trimester. I didn’t know if it was because we were living abroad, or due to some crazy hormonal reason.
But here it is again.

I’m lonely. I’m terribly homesick. I miss my friends. I miss my family. I miss my house. I miss the lack of traffic. I miss normal size houses without walls around them. I miss front yards. I miss having an upstairs. I miss watering the garden. I miss having people over. I miss the north shore and the cabin. I even miss my dog Tofte who died almost 3 years ago. I miss my neighbors. I miss the park down the street. I miss walking the alleyways. I miss having a garage that was big enough to park in AND open the car doors. I miss people dropping by. I miss the little ice dispenser on the refrigerator. I miss the local coffee shop even though I now realize the java they brew is really bad. I miss my pottery studio. I miss being invited to random events. I miss autumn colors. I miss my old gym. I miss cycling down summit and the river road. I miss. Yes, I just miss.

The Mighty Toddler

2010-04-04T23:33:00.000+10:00

About a week ago, we bought a book titled, “The Mighty Toddler.” It’s fantastic, and one of our favorite parts of the book is the poem on its opening page. I’ll share that with you in a moment.

My mother likes to ask me what I have been reading lately. I usually reply with, “Who has time to read?” She will send me recommendations or the occasional book or short story. I’ve felt a bit bad that I haven’t taken the time to read a novel. However, when I was thinking about it a bit deeper, I realize I’ve probably done more reading this past year than I have in years past. No, it’s not novels that I’ve been interested in, but I have read several baby books from cover to cover and countless blogs and advice columns on how to handle traveling with a baby, living abroad, and the Australian medical system. The titles may not be all that interesting, but it is what I am compelled to read and re-read.

On my bedside table rest four books – “Saving Fish from Drowning” by Amy Tan, “The Baby Name Wizard,” “The Mighty Toddler” and “What to expect when you’re expecting.”
The only ‘bookish’ one, the novel by Amy Tan, resides on the bottom of the pile. The “What to Expect” book serves as sort of a reference and I don’t pour over it like I did when pregnant the first time. However, “The Mighty Toddler” is as filled with as many juicy tidbits as 1000 people magazines. I find that I’m enthralled, riveted, laughing out loud and reading entire paragraphs to Eric in a “You’ve GOT to hear this…” sort of voice.
In time I will get back to reading novels and filling my mind with other bits of learning – but for right now – I’m good with the material on hand.

I didn’t forget that I promised you a poem. Before I write it out and you wonder why it was so gripping to both Eric and myself, I’ll offer a bit of explanation. Becoming parents later in life than most of our friends and siblings has led us to take their advice. “Savor these years,” everyone had told us. We love being a mom and dad to our little toddler and we love the hugs, the smiles and even the protests and whines. The poem at the beginning of the book reads like it was written by a friend – it is telling us to savor the moments before they become memories. So, here we are, in the NOW and reading a poem that keenly remembers what we are currently experiencing;

You used to lean
On that cot rail
And wait
With the vigor of a flame
To leap into my arms
Two feet tall and two years old
A sagging nappy
Archless feet soft as cats’ tongues
And trodden underneath
A thick and clammy waterproof
Warm from sleep
The sheet ruched at the end
Toys heaped confused
Neglected as the dead
A duck stuck in the corner
I could see the basket of your ribs
Your hands were opened
And all your bones and life
Leapt up to mine.

By Kate Llewelyn , “The Flames”

Platypus Diaries continue... (#2)

2010-04-01T21:00:00.000+11:00

Thank you to those of you who offered encouragement and positive responses to Mondays entry. It does mean a lot to me that I could go ahead and publish a post that I've felt insecure about and then get so much support for my anxieties. Whether you responded in a comment or an email, I'm happy to know that I'm not alone in my feelings. Apparently the fear of how to handle two kids is very natural.

So, in my continued effort to stop hiding out, this is the second in the catch up of the Platypus Diaries (the diary of my second pregnancy). Because it would amount to many pages of reading to cover September through to the present day in one post, I've broken this up into readable bits. Here is part two:

***

September 12
You would think we’d have had it all planned. Yup, it all worked so easily the first time, we should have known, correct?

Well, the truth is I know that my own mom had a hard time falling pregnant with me and I also know that secondary infertility is higher than primary infertility.

This is where science has done me wrong.
We thought we should perhaps try now because we thought it would take longer than it did.

We were surprised.
Eric, of course, feels like a man among men, but his glorious pride in his sheer maleness is a little bit tempered by the “two kids under two” reality check.

Besides, I think he was hoping for months of shagging before anything really happened.
Sorry, Eric, your work is done.

Sept 17
Sweet fetish is back. While Eric paid for the groceries, I had to go back and stare at the pies in the frozen food section. I told him I just wanted to visit them. I didn’t want to eat them; I really did just want to look at them.

Sept 18
My nephew Michael was born this day, 25 years ago. I was 15 years old and brought my schoolbooks to the hospital to study while waiting for his birth. I was in the 10th grade. I can’t believe all that time has passed. I remember all his little kid years so vividly and then it’s like a blur from when he turned 10 until now. I still expect to see him as a little boy. I have two nephews and two nieces. In my mind they are still little kids and I know them well. In reality, I see their photos on face book – my oldest nephew working and married, my niece in college, my younger nephew a soldier in the middle east, and the little baby niece is now in her final years of high school. I knew them better as kids but those were the years when aunties were cool. Mommy’s and Daddy’s and Grandma’s and Grandpa’s were cool during those years too. I miss having them run to me and hug my legs with all their might. Are they really these adults that I see on face book now?

My mom used to tell me that she missed “her little girls”, meaning my sister and me as children. I understand that now.

Sept 19
I forgot how specific the cravings were. Today I wanted olive bread with Hellman’s mayonnaise, cheddar cheese and tomato. Yesterday I wanted a cherry lattice Danish with cream cheese. Problem is, these are things you can only get in America. We don’t have Hellman’s here and I’ve never seen a cherry lattice Danish here either. I’ll need to program myself to crave Vegemite and meat pies.

Sept 20
Last year at this time I was great with child and hoping I would deliver early.
I’m about to have a one year old and go through the whole preggy thing again. Can I just say that I’m not ready to go through all the pregnant part again? It’s too vivid – those late months where I was the size of a whale and up all night tossing and turning. Labor and delivery is still burned into my memory and hasn’t diminished in the slightest. How can a person forget pain that made them think they were going to split in two?

Oh, I’m complaining. It’s just that I feel really unwell these days. The waves of nausea, the putrid smell of meat, the aroma of coffee that makes my stomach heave. The constant need to use the toilet plagues me both day and night. And the exhaustion! How is it possible to be this tired ALL THE TIME????

I’ve been working like a mad woman lately. Two weekends in a row, four long and late days last week that started early and went past seven PM. I got home just in time to kiss my baby and whisk her off to bed. That makes me sad. The weekend arrived and all I want to do is sleep. Today I got up early with Madz and let Eric sleep in. Then when he woke, I went down for a two hour nap. Then this afternoon I took another two hour nap.
In between those naps, I lay on the couch or played on the floor with Madden. It’s 9:00 PM and after this entry, I am heading off to bed yet again.
Is this normal?

And the dreams! Wow. They are like movies…bright, emotional, epic, and odd.
There is one where I am in a car with Bonnie and Clyde and we are remaking the movie and another where I’m driving my new speedboat across Lake Superior when I discover that it has an entire underground warehouse complete with kitchen and underwater deck.

Sept 22
She is walking. This weekend Madden started with 4 or 5 steps and a fall, then 4 or 5 and a fall again. Now she’s walking around with a little push cart and holding on to a finger and walking all across the apartment. She is SO PROUD of herself and seems so happy to have that independence. Your mama and dada are proud of you too.

Madden, do you think you’ll be up for babysitting in about 8 months time? We will pay well…

Platypus Diaries Begin

2010-03-28T21:21:00.002+11:00

The first matter of business is to apologize for not outing my pregnancy a bit sooner on the blog. There were two main reasons I didn’t just publish the news: I wanted to tell people in person when I was home for Christmas in Minnesota, and I have a couple very good friends that are having difficulties falling pregnant. I just wanted to tell them first and the thought of them finding out by reading it on a blog seemed a bit insensitive.

Then, time got away.

When I was pregnant with Madden, I kept a somewhat daily diary. I did the same thing this time around only I didn’t publish it to the blog. When we returned to Melbourne in January, it suddenly seemed like I’d been pregnant forever and I wasn’t sure about publishing my thoughts about those early days. Besides, when I read over the entries I realize that my fears and morning sickness coupled together to form some fairly negative reading.

I’ve changed my mind about publishing. What changed? Well, I read another blog and there was one particularly compelling entry about striving for perfection. It was written by a woman who takes blogging very seriously and often suffers writers block. She wrote a wonderfully personal and confessional entry about her need to get things right and how sometimes it’s in letting loose that she truly finds herself.

So, I’m feeling inspired. Yes, my entries were somewhat negative in the beginning. But, I wrote them and it was how I was feeling at the time. I shall not hide.

Madden’s diary was named “Tadpole Diaries” because we didn’t have a name and because she actually looked more like a tadpole than a baby on her first ultrasound.
This one is titled “Platypus Diaries” because even though this baby looked just like his or her sister (a tadpole) we had to add a bit of Australian flair to the name.
By the way, we’ve taken to calling the baby inside “Platy” for short.

So, over the next few weeks, I’ll catch up from September and fill you all in on this next big thing in our lives.

Here it goes….

Platypus Diaries #1

September 1, 2009
Shall we talk double strollers?
In May of 2010, we will be a family of four.

September 3, 2009
I’m waiting to tell Eric on Australian Fathers Day. That’s three whole days away.
I wanted to tell someone, so I took Madden in the other room and told her. She just wanted to play with her toys. I tried to look her in the eyes and get her to listen, but she just poked me in the mouth and giggled. It wasn’t very satisfying but at least I got to utter the words out loud to another person.

September 7, 2009
Eric is in the know! His reaction was one of surprise, excitement, and ….silence. I think we both feel a bit the same way. We are pleased and happy, but didn’t really expect it this soon and we face the reality of two kids just 19 months apart, life in a foreign country, unpaid maternity leave, him with no job, and renters that may or may not stay in our home in the states. Thoughts turn to wondering about when we should go home/how to do this/how to take two kids under two on a plane/how to find a job in the US when I’m great with child//how to pack a family of four into a two bedroom apartment here in Melbourne/how to do it all with no family around/where to bring Madden when I go into the hospital/and eee gad what next???

It’s all a bit overwhelming.

I know that things will come together in the end. But how? Seriously, how? I try to imagine where we will be and what job I will be doing and how we are going to get back to the states and if Eric will find suitable employment and how much time I should take off and how am I going to balance work, pregnancy, Madden and all, and I want to stick my head in the ground for the next 9 months and possibly longer.

Like I said…It’s wonderful and we want another child and I’m not getting any younger so there is no time like the present but how do we do all this and plan our futures and not get all worked up and not be consumed with worry and fret and how do we manage it without having our heads explode?

Double Stroller

2010-02-22T23:11:00.003+11:00

So, um, this is what I've been up to...

What's new with you?

Random Tuesday Thoughts - Toddlers, Islands, and Life Down Under

2010-02-16T09:00:00.001+11:00

Madden has taken to going through our basket of laundry and placing various items throughout the house. Eric was home and heard the TV turn on. He walked into the living room to find Madden sitting up on the couch, remote control in hand, and wearing a pair of my underwear on her head.
***

Today we went to a street festival in St. Kilda. It was no place for a couple with a toddler. It would have been perfect if we were in our early 20’s and with a group of friends. The heat, the crowds, dodging people with our stroller...ugh. I guess it was just time to learn this valuable lesson. Next time we hang out in the “family friendly” area only or we stay home.
***

It’s Olympic season. Hooray! I love the WINTER Olympics. We are once again getting the full Australian coverage and I’m looking forward to the “Gold’s per Capita” rating that they did last time. On the coverage tonight, they described one particular American as a “good, knockabout bloke…nice guy that could pass for an Aussie.”
***

Why is meat from small animals called by the name of the animal and yet meat from large animals is called by something completely different. Example Chicken=chicken, and Pig = pork or ham or bacon. I really do want to know the reason for this. Oh, and what determines small animal vs. large animal. Goat meat is from goats, but no one ever declares they saw venison leaping through the forest.
***

I went to a week long work conference that was held on Hamilton Island in the Whitsundays. It was the most magical setting and the most beautiful place I’ve seen in Australia. If the Boundary Waters could have hotels, it MAY rival this location. The Island is PRIVATELY owned and it felt like a cross between Fantasy Island and the Twilight Zone.
(This is the view from my hotel room - photo taken by my mobile phone...)

We had this crazy team building exercise where we all got in golf carts and raced around the island in a scavenger hunt. I can’t believe they let us do it and I can’t believe no one was hurt. One person did get a speeding ticket and another did manage to do a 360 in the cart. The meeting was great despite the fact that we couldn’t swim in the water due to poisonous jellyfish and we were on the outskirts of a mid summer typhoon.
That’s so Australia – always something life threatening hiding around the corner.
****

Out baby is growing up. 16 months. She runs, she doesn’t take a bottle anymore, she eats more for breakfast than Eric and I combined, and she has launched herself into the world of mini tantrums. When we take something away from her, she will sob in betrayal and throw herself onto the floor in protest. At this point, it’s actually kind of cute. Yeah, I know it will get old – but for now, it just signifies that she is truly entering toddlerhood.
***

Eric is sitting on the couch watching “The New Poseidon Adventure” staring Steve Guttenberg. Seriously Eric, please.
***

Some of the hospital staff that I work with were clearing out a closet and they professed that they found a genuine sleigh. I went to have a look at it and laughed a bit to see a wooden decorative sled. They were proud of themselves for finding it and all talked about taking it to the mountains to go sledding in the wintertime. I tried to explain that it would probably not give them much satisfaction. They all seemed a bit bewildered as to why it wouldn’t work – ah, the innocence of those from a sun baked country.

***
It’s Cricket season here. Mind you, not the chirping bug, but the sporting event where they dress in white and try to take out each others wickets. We’ve tried to watch Cricket but we can honestly say there is probably no more boring sport ever invented. This makes watching TV golf look exciting. There is a great line from the show The West Wing where President Bartlett states, “I’m an intelligent man Charlie, but when someone tries to explain the rules of cricket I just want to hit them with a bat.”
Amen to that.

Yes, you are a foreigner

2009-11-28T17:12:00.000+11:00

Sometimes I forget we are living in a foreign country. Australia is as western and modern as the US, the language is English, and the life here is very similar to life in America. There are the obvious differences of course; the accents, the driving on the left side of the road, the fact that December is hot and beautiful but July is miserable and cold…etc. etc. There are also many cultural differences, but it's probably far easier for an American to get used to living in Australia than somewhere like Japan or India.

So, naturally, we expect most things to be the same as in America and often find it a bit surprising when they are not. I also forget that I'm the foreigner!

Yesterday I was at a hospital to run a clinic. I went out to get a patient with a very simple name.
I went to the lobby and called out the name of the patient..
The 20 or so people in the waiting room didn't budge.
I called the name again. (These wasn't his real name, but let's just say the name was as simple as John Smith)
Again, no one moved.
I figured the patient must have taken a moment to use the toilet or run and grab a coffee at the shop next door.
So, I waited 10 minutes and returned to the lobby.
I called his name again.
No response.
He was my last patient to check, so I continued to wait.
Finally, I went to the scheduler's desk and let them know that "John Smith" probably wasn't going to arrive.
The scheduler informed me that he had checked in 20 minutes ago.
Finally, she said, "Let me help you."
She came out to the waiting area with me and repeated the name.
"John Smith", she said.
A gentleman who had been there THE WHOLE TIME stood up and came forward to us.
Now she didn't say this guys name any different than I had but he understood her and not me!
How hard is it to say "JOHN SMITH" anyway…and don't you stand up for just about anything that sounds remotely close to your actual name?
Eric's last name is Tjossem…people butcher that all the time and he still knows it's his name when someone calls it out.
The only excuse that the guy gave was that he didn't understand my strong Irish accent.

*********
We needed to have some documents certified for tax purposes. I figured I'd just find a notary public.
"A what?" said my coworkers.
Apparently, document certification is done here at the police station. So, yesterday after my patient not understanding my accent issue, I went to the local police station to get my certification.
I went to the public affairs room at the police station and waited in line with all the other foreigners for document certification. What I needed certified was every page of my passport to file with my Australian taxes. It was bizarre that I needed copies of my passport for tax reasons and bizarre how they were certified.

I returned to my office and had to tell me colleagues how strange I felt the whole experience had been. They didn't get it. They asked again about how it works in America and I tried to explain the notary public thing.

Have you ever tried to explain what a Notary Public is?

"So, it can be anyone", they asked?
"How do you find one?"
"They aren't police?"
"How do you trust them?"
And finally, "They charge a FEE??? That's outrageous!"

I guess when I think about it, the police certification makes a bit more sense.

*********

Thursday was Thanksgiving in America. Thursday here was just a regular old work day.

I miss the American holidays: Thanksgiving, Memorial Day, President's Day, and the 4th of July.
The holidays of "Cup Day, Australia Day, and Anzac weekend" are inadequate substitutes. It's like trying to celebrate Christmas without your own family traditions. You kind of miss them.

It was a stormy and muggy here on Thanksgiving Day and I had a long day at work. Two lightening strikes over the hospital shorted out the power in the surgery suite and we had a 15 minute "break" where we all just stood around in the emergency lighting making chit chat while waiting for the power to return so we could use the x ray equipment. (Yes, there was a patient quietly sleeping on the table in front of us).

The surgeon started to ask me about Thanksgiving and what it all meant. Everyone else started to pitch in with their questions as well. I should probably have had better answers.
"So, it was a harvest dinner to welcome the pilgrims?"
"But didn't the pilgrims then start to kill off the Indians?"

I didn't really know where to go from that question.

*Note to self: Become very informed about American holiday traditions, US health care system, government policies, government structure, and past presidents. People will ask you and if you have inadequate answers, you will feel silly.

I'm Back

2009-11-08T13:57:00.002+11:00

I have been incommunicado for a long time and I am not sure why. In fact I am not even going to look to see when my last entry was. As I scratch my head to come up with a reason none are very good: I am too busy, I don't have much to say, nothing exciting is happening. In reality none of that is true, I will have to blame laziness. This is not the first time that I have been a victim of this particular sin and I am sure won't be the last.

The most important update of course is Madden. Everyday she is doing something different than she did from the day before. The learning and changes that take place blow my mind. If I could learn at half the rate that she does and move at half the speed, my intellectual pursuits and weight would never be a problem.

The blog photo at the top is taken during our trip to Port Douglas and Cape Tribulation in Queensland. Isn't it great? My lovely wife decided that the lighting was perfect on Four Mile Beach and we should take some pictures. In order to get the perfect shot I had to toss Madden multiple times. My shoulders and arms were aching but Beth kept egging me on. "Higher…..Higher….Keep going, but don't drop her". I am happy to report that not a single toddler or daddy was harmed.

I love the name Cape Tribulation. The image that it conjures is that it is a hard and unforgiving place. In reality it is only hard to get to, but worth the trip. It is unique because it is where the Great Barrier Reef joins the land in the northern part of Australia, so it has mountains, beeches, and is tropical. One of the activities that did was a tasting at an exotic fruit farm. I have learned that there are many fruits that I can do without. As a group we decided that there is a reason that apples, oranges, bananas, etc are popular. We should stick to them. It should be noted however, that if you can get your hands on miracle fruit you should give it a try. After you suck on the seed, everything tastes sweet. I am not kidding, as strange as it sounds we were able to drink vinegar.

As noted in previous blogs, TomKat and Suri were supposed to be our neighbors. That never panned out. I guess that the guy who owns the massive casino here is a fellow scientologist so they felt more comfortable staying with the gamblers. I did however get a gig as an extra on the movie that Katie was shooting here. I am amazed at the time that it takes to shoot these scenes. It was a 16 hour day of doing the same thing, but with different camera angles. My job was to follow Katie in through the "airport" and then pass her as she stops, so most of my day was spent standing right next to her (she is good looking) and waiting. Since the day was so long she had visitors….Tom and Suri stopped by to say hello. The three of them were within 2 feet of me, but as a peon I was not supposed to speak to them. I did get the "how you doin" nod from Tom as he flashed the pearly whites, and Suri is so darn cute. It is a surreal experience to be that close to people for that long a period of time and never even say hello.

Random Tuesday Thoughts - Grandparents, Husbands who use too much internet, and other randomness

2009-09-29T09:19:00.003+10:00

Let’s talk breast feeding. It was never easy for me but I still kept it going in the mornings. In the middle of August I had to go to Sydney for a conference and both Eric and I wondered how the baby would do without getting her normal cuddle and morning feed. I brought that hateful breast pump to Sydney and diligently tried to keep up what little supply I still had.
In my absence Eric gave Madden an AM bottle and just put her on my side of the bed for this morning meal.
When I returned from Sydney, I woke in the morning and got Madden to feed her. She slipped into bed between us and smiled sweetly at me. Then she bared all 8 of her vicious little sharp teeth and bit down HARD. I cried, she wailed, and breast feeding was discontinued from that moment forward.
And so it ends with the same drama at which it commenced.
It lasted 10 months and 2 weeks and I can’t believe we continued that long.
But now we are done. Done, done, done and I’ve got the teeth marks to prove it. Done.

************

My former employer was Guidant. They were bought out by Boston Scientific in 2006 and we changed names at that time. The bag I still cart around the hospital has the Guidant logo branded on the side of it. The Guidant tag line is “It’s a great time to be Alive!” I loved the company but hated that tag line. I looked at it again the other day and thought about how silly it is. “It’s a great time to be alive!” Isn’t that just another way of saying, “It’s a crappy time to be dead?”

**********
The traffic here is bugging me again. Rush hour is not an hour, it’s an entire afternoon and evening. There is satellite navigation in the car and its reading calculated the distance from my primary hospital to home at 8.2 km. Not far. So, why does it take me an HOUR to get home? The traffic is mainly congested just getting across the city. I watched the sat nav the other day and it took 30 minutes to go that first 1km. I could run home faster.

I change up the route home from time to time, but it always ends up taking the same amount of time. One of the routes is along the river. In the summertime, the rowers are out on the water and I watch them go up and back along the banks. I think I actually take in at least half of their practice session.

Sometimes, I wonder if they’d give me a lift.

**********

Eric remains a stay at home dad and enjoying his time with baby girl. I went away for conference in August and after spending four days away in Sydney, my normally quiet husband couldn’t stop talking when I got home. He proceeded to tell me about everything that happened on TV for the entire weekend. I think the highlight of his weekend was “So you think you can dance.” Based on that, we both agreed that he should probably get a job. He needs more stimulation…and I can’t listen to him talk about contestants on a reality show as if they are friends.

Sometimes we lie in bed at night and talk about how we would like to trade places. I would love to be home with Madden and he would love to go off to work. It’s just a grass is greener kind of thing and truthfully, I think we would both just welcome more balance in our lives.

*************

My lovely, dear, charming, enchanting husband used up all our Internet connection downloading all things Vikings. The last two games and every podcast associated with his team are now available for viewing/listening on his computer, but we are now over our limit and cannot log on to check our email.

Oh, dear Eric, I appreciate you and your need to see your home team, but please leave me just a little bit of Internet plan so that I can log on to my work email.

Yes, we do have the maximum plan, but even though it’s quite costly each month, they still limit our usage. I never thought I’d miss Comcast and the unlimited plan that we had in the states. Go figure.

Our usage kicks over soon and so it is likely I will be able to post this in the next week. Until that time, we are incommunicado...

****************
Today is September 23rd. That was my due date last year. I can distinctly remember the anticipation and tremendous fear that I felt at this exact time last year.

************
Eric’s parents were supposed to arrive this morning. I took the day off work; we got up early, took baby girl to daycare, packed Eric into his loaner car, equipped the loaner car (parental chauffeur vehicle which doesn’t contain 500 kilos of medical equipment) with the automatic toll deduction from my car and headed out on the 45 minute trip to the airport. Eric’s parents’ flight was in but there was no sign of Eric’s parents.
The normally crowded international arrival area began to thin out. A flight from China arrived. 60 minutes passed. Everyone from the China flight departed the terminal. No more flights from LAX were arriving. It became apparent that something was not right. Where were they?
Unable to check the Internet from home (see above entry); we couldn’t be sure that they hadn’t sent us an email.
No, they would call. Certainly they would call.
On the way home, Eric got a call from his sister. Apparently their parents connecting flight out of Dallas was delayed and they missed their international connection…..over 24 hours ago…
They are stuck sitting in the LA airport. UGH. UGH. UGH.

*********

We are enjoying watching Eric’s folks play with Madden. She took about 24 hours to warm to them and now she has realized that they will always read to her or pick her up and play with her. She has mastered the art of the fake cough for extra attention.
For Eric and me, we have a new sense of freedom that comes from someone else entertaining our child! We also appreciate the extra help cooking, cleaning up, and help with the constant stream of laundry.

Madden is a really easy baby. She falls asleep easily and sleeps through the night, she isn’t a fussy eater, and she only cries if she’s hungry or tired. She can play by herself and is entertained easily. We were really proud when Eric’s dad asked us if she is always this good.
Yup. She is.

******
This time of year in Melbourne is spring and it is usually dry and somewhat warm. Ever since Eric’s folks arrived, it’s been raining and unseasonably cold. They have an entire selection of shorts and T shirts, but packed no sweat pants or sweatshirts in their luggage. After a trip to the market on Saturday, they are now the proud owners of Aussie brand sweat suits. I had an entire weekend of activities planned – the outdoor farmers market, the Collingwood Children’s Farm, hiking and exploring in the Dandenong’s. After sitting around all weekend and trying to wait out the rain (I’ve never seen rain like this here), I forced everyone out of the house for a trip to the mountains to go hiking. We set off in a cool drizzle and by the time we arrived, it was a full downpour. We got Madden out of the car and into the stroller – the wind was whipping around us and the rain was blowing sideways. We ducked into the very first café we could find and decided we’d have an early lunch and wait out the rain before we hiked. An hour later, the rain was still coming down hard and we all just packed into the car and drove the hour home.
At least the view from the steamed up car windows was nice.

Ad of the Month

2009-09-28T20:55:00.000+10:00

Unleash The Man Leather. Not sure what that means, but this one makes us giggle.

Ad of the Month

2009-09-03T20:45:00.000+10:00

Did you know that Melbourne is home to the largest population of Greek people outside of Greece itself?
This TV commercial has been running for some time here. Safeway is one of the local grocery stores and they have this fantastic marketing campaign. This is their appeal to the local Greek population. It doesn't have subtitles because you will discover that you don't need to speak Greek to understand it.

Little paper packages

2009-08-30T13:49:00.002+10:00

Every now and again a package will show up on our doorstep. OH, how we love that. This time, there was just one thing in the envelope. Thanks Mom, we got it and she loves her doll. Grandmas rock.

Ad of the Month

2009-08-02T21:59:00.000+10:00

This commercial is actually not real.

It was the winner of The Gruen Transfer pitch. The Gruen Transfer is a show about advertising, how it works, and how it works on us.

In a segment called 'The Pitch', ad agencies compete to fulfill a seemingly impossible brief. In this segment, two agencies competed to design a commercial that would make Australians want to invade their neighbors to the southeast.

This is the winning commercial.

When I was your age, I had to get up to change the channel...

2009-08-02T14:28:00.004+10:00

Pumpkins, Mohicans, and other Random Tuesday Thoughts

2009-07-28T18:14:00.001+10:00

We went to a party last weekend that was basically a big Aussie style Thanksgiving dinner in the middle of July. Yes, it is winter here so the big heavy food is IN right now. However, the host ordered and deep fried 5 turkeys. There were only about 35 people total, so that ended up being about 2 ½ turkey's too many.

Aussies don't eat a lot of cooked turkeys and they are hard to come by. As a result, Eric was given the duties of carving the bird and people stood around and watched him.

Being the only American's, we were required to bring the pumpkin pies…

They don't DO pumpkin pie in Australia and they all think it sounds really weird. I guess it's a bit like trying to understand Vegemite sandwiches. Pumpkin for them is Squash and they put it on just about everything. I don't think there is a restaurant here that doesn't offer a pumpkin(squash) soup or a sandwich or pizza with pumpkin (squash).

Eric and I stood near the pies and watched as people cut little tiny slivers for themselves, then piled on the whipped cream, and tentatively brought a piece up to their lips. Most people looked surprised at the first taste and then proceeded to eat the whole miniscule piece on their plates. They were generally well received and a few folks even insisted it wasn't real pumpkin. Well, no, it's not butternut squash….it's real Halloween style jack-o-lantern pumpkin.

They don't do Halloween either, so that didn't really clear things up.

*********

My car is in the shop right now and the shop gave me a loaner car. I made the booking for the loaner car for a specific day as they told me they would have a large car available that day. My job requires a lot of gear and I generally have so much stuff in my vehicle that I need to do some big moving around if I try to take any more than one passenger. It seems that my booking was missed and instead of the big car, they gave me the extra small compact called a Honda Jazz. I am packed to overflowing with a baby seat and tons of gear. To make matters even more humiliating, there are large decals all over the doors and back that advertise the repair shop.

*************

It's junk day again. Got junk? Just leave it on the boulevard and it will be hauled away. About 3 times a year each neighborhood gets the opportunity to have their junk unloaded. We've never seen anything like it. There are couches, TV consoles, broken toasters, sewing machines, tupperware, kid's toys, lamps, printers, desks, computers – it's all out there on the lawn. And it's gone by nightfall.

*************

On my way to Madden's daycare on Monday morning I drove through a neighborhood that must be having junk day. Set amongst the random pieces of furniture and household goods was a large framed movie poster for Last of the Mohicans.

Odd. Makes one wonder what precipitated the owners to finally remove that from their home.

*************

Melbourne roadways are not built for large cars. In fact, they may not be built for cars at all. The small neighborhood streets often allow parking on both sides but only one car can travel down the road between those parked cars. The dilemma? These roads are two way traffic. The end result is that people come at you head on and dart in and out behind parked cars so that you can eventually pass each other. It usually happens at a normal rate of speed and looks like some sort of dance.

************

At a birthday party, Madden was introduced to vegemite. She loves it.

************

Australians are not complainers and they tend to act very civilized towards one another. When they do complain, it is usually done with such strong statements as "I am unhappy with this…" or "Since this is unacceptable, I'm wondering what you would be willing to offer as an alternative?"

I find I'm growing uncomfortable with any sort of shouting or strong language when I do hear it now. People listen when you voice yourself intelligently and they shut down if they feel insulted.

In the immigration office when I had to get M's Visa in her passport, I heard a Canadian guy really giving the officer a piece of his mind. Those of us waiting patiently were recoiling in our seats. Eventually the immigration officer told the guy he was moving his application to the bottom of the pile due to his bad behavior. When the guy shouted even louder, the Aussie told him, "Look, Mate, consider yourself lucky. I could have moved your application into the rubbish bin."

The Canadian finally bit his tongue and left the office.

**********

Due to the lack of complaining in this society, whatever service does manage to come your way will cause you to be very grateful. If you are in a restaurant and you are the only one at your table without food, have no worries. In 5 minutes you will be able to flag over a server who will then go to the kitchen and in another 10 short minutes you will be given the dish that doesn't seem to look like what you ordered. It is appropriate to be grateful for the opportunity to try something new.

***********

We are surrounded by accents. Who knew this place was so multicultural? And I actually thought they would think my American accent was cool. Silly me.

Ad of the Month

2009-07-02T21:57:00.000+10:00

Boag's Beer from Tasmania. Love the kid with the lightsaber.

Can I taste that for you?...and other RANDOM TUESDAY THOUGHTS

2009-06-30T22:39:00.004+10:00

Does this describe a puppy or a baby?

She keeps her people up at night.
She makes cute sounds and sometimes yelps loudly.
She often needs comforting.
She is fun and cuddly.
She is soft.
She puts everything in their mouth.
She crawls around on the ground.
She depends on us for food and often the food looks revolting.
She is fun to play with.
She gets attention from complete strangers.
She has her own small bed.
She is always happy to see us.
She is the favorite subject matter for photographs.
She chews on our furniture and shoes.
She goes everywhere we go.
She is entertained by small things.
She is perfectly content to play in the yard with nothing but a big stick.
I feel guilty when I’m not with her.

*********
Aussie Weirdness of the week: I went to a small café and ordered a sandwich that I saw in the deli case. The woman behind the counter asked, “Do you want me to taste it for you?” I was very confused by this and asked her to repeat herself. “Do you want me to taste it for you?” she said again.
I stood silently as I tried to process her words. Would she politely grab a bit of the sandwich or just have a go at a large bite?
Certainly I had missed the real context and because I was curious and almost daring her to take a bite out of my sandwich, I found myself nodding and saying, “Yes, absolutely, please do.”
I watched intently as she pulled my sandwich out of the deli case and whisked it away to the back room. Hmmmmm. What sneaky business was going on?
She came back out without my sandwich and proceeded to wait on other customers. I stood at the deli case staring intently at the open doorframe that lead to the back room where my sandwich had disappeared. About 5 minutes later, the counter lady ventured back into the mystery room and reappeared with my sandwich. It was beautiful, all brown and TOASTED.

*********
More on Aussie pronunciation:
I’ve taken to saying to-mah-to for tomato and wah-ter for water. It saves me having to repeat myself.
I was in a patient’s room that seemed to lack power outlets. I asked the nursing staff for the outlet and I got a blank stare. Finally someone came in to help me and when I showed her the cord, she said, “Oh, you want a power point.” Go figure. I’m still learning.
The Aussie pronunciation of the letter H is “HAYtch”.

********
My coworker Paige and I bought a lottery ticket together. The lotto here is at a record 100 million dollars. Now we are fantasizing about all the things we are going to do with the money. I think we would make very good rich people. We’ll know tonight. Wish us luck.

********
Madden has 5 teeth now. They are in no particular order. There are 2 on top but nowhere near each other and there are three teeth spaced out across the bottom of her mouth. Every time one comes in, it is a couple days of torture for her and for us. She is quite miserable and whines and cries and sometimes even spikes a fever. So we are counting…5 down, only 15 more teeth to go…

*****
Tomkat update: They arrived in Melbourne today but have chosen to live at the penthouse above the casino building rather than at the mansion next to us. Bad choice if you ask me. Apparently the penthouse is owned by a fellow scientologist though. They still aren’t very far from us but unfortunately for Madden and Suri; they aren’t two doors down like we planned.

*******
Let’s talk about Grand Forks, North Dakota for a moment. Why, you ask? Well, I’ll tell you. I’ve been thinking about it lately. You see, it’s winter here which means just like the Midwest of the US, it’s dark from 4:45 PM until 8:00 AM. But that’s where the comparison stops. You see, I used to travel a lot with my job and they always sent me to exciting destinations like Duluth, MN, Rapid City, SD, Mason City, IA, and good old Grand Forks, ND. They sent me to Grand Forks A LOT in the winter – the cold, frigid, bleak, icey, people-die-out-there-kind-of-weather-conditions, winter. And what’s more is that I always got stuck there. Being snowed in and missing those little teeny tiny planes home plagued me. I was there one time in late December and I thought I’d have to stay for Christmas. Nothing was flying out. It was 30 degrees below zero and my rental car elicited a high pitched screech every time it started. I had no scraper and would sit in my car with the heater on full blast for 20 minutes just to clear the ICE off the windscreen. As I drove down the road I remember thinking that choosing to live there must be pure insanity.

That brings me back to Melbourne – you see, people around me have been complaining about the cold. People, its winter and the grass is green! There are flowers blooming and leaves are still hanging from trees. We can stand outside for an hour without a coat and have zero risk of hypothermia. No one owns a mad bomber hat or ugly orange hunting gloves three sizes too big. Sorel boots have no market here.

This is Australia. People wear cute coats one layer thicker than a spring trench. My hat doesn't even cover my ears and I’ve never seen anyone wearing mittens. Let's save the complaining for the 114 degree heat in the summer when it's actually justified. This stuff just isn't really winter.

*****
This morning I was running very late and had no time to shower, let alone eat breakfast. As I darted out the door, Eric handed me a bag and said it was breakfast for the road. In it was a banana and some mango juice. Since he had nothing to put the mango juice into that wouldn’t spill, he made use of one of Madden’s sippy cups. It was brilliant. It may have looked bizarre to anyone driving close to me, but I definitely feel that sipping mango juice out of brightly colored baby sippy cup enhanced my morning mood.

Happy American Father's Day to this man and this man...

2009-06-21T22:25:00.011+10:00

Random Tuesday Thoughts

2009-06-16T10:00:00.000+10:00

I didn’t write a random Tuesday blog last week. I’m saying it was a bye week and I was taking a break. The truth is that we were all sick again. This THING has a hold on us and keeps circulating. Eric had the flu and I had a sinus infection again. Whatever this THING is, it just keeps going round and round and mutating and re-infecting us all again and again. ARGGHHH.

Over the last decade we have witnessed all our friends going through the same thing. They have kids. The kids go to daycare. The kids get sick. Our friends get sick. And so on and so on. Events were cancelled, moved, or forgotten due to all this sickness that kept going around. It was annoying. Back then, I actually believed it was because no one was washing their hands on a regular basis. If only they were a bit more hygienic, they would all maintain their health.
I was stupid. I’m sorry. For what it’s worth, I don’t believe that anymore.
*************

No sign of TomKat. We’ve taken to walking by the place several times a day. There is a 12 foot wall around the place and the gates are always closed. The most action we spotted was a view of an open gate and cleaners and catering company trucks in the circle drive. We will continue our nightly walks by their place. After all, the friendship between Madden and Suri is predestined.
*************

3 year olds and pink permanent marker shouldn’t come in contact. At this point, I do believe the only solution for the linen covered chair in our apartment is re-upholstery.
*********

Pop Quiz –
1. What is the capital city of Australia?
2. Which is bigger – the US or AU?
3. How many states does AU have?
4. What is the population of AU compared to the US?

*******
I am powerless to stop you. Oh, you superb TV shows on DVD, how I love your commercial free ways. I hum your catchy theme songs, celebrate your characters, and can’t resist the way you woo me with your 37 minute episodes. But you are smart. You are well aware that it’s more than 37 minutes when I am unable to tear myself away from your five episodes DVD. Oh, how I marvel at your marketing genius. You have me and I am powerless.
How did you do it Sopranos? How could I have become sympathetic to a bunch of New York mobsters?
And then there was you, oh quirky Six Feet Under. I loved you for your writing, and your issues, and your flawed characters. We cried together – don’t you remember that?
Oh, my dear West Wing, I think I miss you the most. How could you end? How could you leave me there with Jimmy Santos as president and no follow up? I miss you but I shall never forget how you kept me company during my entire pregnancy. You were there for me.

And now, I’d like to introduce my new love and addiction.
I saw your first two episodes and thought I could resist your pull. But then I saw your third show and I knew I must have you. You are mine Entourage. All mine.

Random Tuesday Thoughts

2009-06-02T23:12:00.005+10:00

The Random Tuesday Blog is a stolen idea from Jenni at Oscarelli blog. She stole it from someone else and so on and so on. So, here's my data dump for the week...It's random, it's unrelated, it is a snapshot of what is going through my head...
************

I've been dreaming a lot lately. Weird stuff like Eric wearing an Elvis suit and performing stunt water skiing; tragic material such as setting Madden down on the street and realizing she'd crawled away into traffic; panicky things such as surgeries gone awry and fully sedated patients leaping off surgical tables. Mostly I just feel robbed of sleep and a bit frightened to go to bed at night for what may enter my brain.
**********

I use physics everyday in my job. Ye old V=IR equation. When I was learning that WAY back in high school, I seriously doubted I would EVER use that information again.
***********

Little things that I currently miss from home (besides people) include:

Aquafresh toothpaste
Heath bars
The Mall of America (specifically Nordstroms)
Amazon.com with free shipping
24 hour grocery stores
24 hour pharmacies
Being served water with ice when you sit down at a restaurant
Internet cafes
Cheesecake
Uncongested roadways
Shops that are open past 5pm
Walking down Summit
Cheaper petrol
Cheese popcorn
Springtime in MN
Punch Pizza
Lake Superior and the north shore
*************

Little things that I love about here include:

Aussie Breakfasts
Kind GP's that see me, Madden and Eric on time and give 30 minute appointments
Our gigantic king size bed that is the most comfortable thing I have ever slept in
Delicious treats called lemon slices
Green grass and flowers during wintertime
Parrots
Wallabies
Gigantic gum trees
Weird looking tree ferns
The bike path along the Yarra
Our proximity to Tasmania
The phrase "Good On Ya"
The little antique row houses all over town
************

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are coming to Melbourne. Specifically, they are going to be our neighbors. Katie is apparently filming a movie in Melbourne and we heard from others in our building that the Cruise-Holmes combo will be residing in the huge complex at the end of our block. That's TWO Doors down from us.
COUNT IT WITH ME.
TWO DOORS DOWN.
I heard the news in the morning and by that evening I had fabricated an entire imaginary life in which Eric and I and Tom and Katie together with Madden and Suri, were hanging out by their pool and jetting off to the Gold Coast for holidays together. Eric and I would resist the pressure to become Scientologists, but Tom and Katie would find us so fun and witty that we would all remain lifelong friends. Suri would become face book friends with Madden and they would see each other each summer at camp.
***********

Ad of the Month

2009-06-02T21:40:00.006+10:00

I don't think I will ever understand the commercials they play on TV over here.
This one is actually British, but it gets a lot of airtime here in Melbourne.

The ad is for chocolate.

Will someone PLEASE tell me how this sells chocolate?

Weeeeeee

2009-06-01T07:00:00.000+10:00

8 months old today. Happy Day little fun one.

Pass the Germs, Please

2009-05-30T21:39:00.001+10:00

Parenting is great. I know that I am not saying anything new, but it is better than I thought that it would be.

Some days are difficult because the needs and wants of an infant (rapidly moving to toddler) are relentless. I liken it to swimming against the tide, sometimes there is no hope, and it just wears you down.

A few weeks ago Madden brought home some sort of illness from daycare. Poor thing was up all night for two nights running and Beth and I, being diligent parents, were up as well. Since Beth is still feeding Madden, her defenses were down and got sick almost immediately as well. I was spared, good thing too, because someone has to take care of the others. Madden got over it within a few days but Beth struggled with it for weeks. In fact it got worse and she didn’t improve. Beth thinks that once she builds up immunity that she passes it right to Madden. I am not sure this is medically sound but it is a good working theory. Everything around here remains OK as long as one of us is well – that task became mine.

It is at this point when the young one ends up sneezing in my face. If my life had a sound track, the theme song from Jaws would be playing in the background. It is then that the hard work starts. Beth is unwell, I am unwell, and little metabolism Madden is just fine and since she HAD been sick, is still waking up several times in a night. She is still waking anywhere between 4:30 and 6:00AM for the day. During these early hours we would bring her into bed with us thinking that she may fall back to sleep. She rarely does but we are still hopeful. Sometimes I lie very very still so that she won’t notice me. To move in even the smallest way is to get her attention. It is a good morning when Madden chooses to poke, prod, yell at, and chew on the OTHER person.

My parenting approach is trying to avoid mistakes and I figure everything else will take care of itself. So far we have been lucky, nothing major. Madden is healthy and happy. Which makes us happy…..We are still working on the healthy.

I thought that I would post the top ten boneheaded parenting moves that I have made so far. I am happy to report that most are pretty mild.

10. Running out of nappies
9. Running out of nappy wipes
8. Traveling on a road trip while she is sick
7. Feeding her a bottle in the car seat on a road trip while she is sick
6. Forgetting to pack a bottle for Madden's after swim snack
5. Realizing that she got a shock after chewing on the end of a computer power cord.
4. Trying to get her to sit in the bathtub – oops.
3. Stepping on her fingers
2. Watching while she toppled 11 cans of Sprite on top of herself.
1. Forgetting that I had just peeled a bunch of garlic, I applied nappy rash cream to her sore
bottom.

Skype

2009-05-28T22:00:00.000+10:00

This is how babies keep up with their grandparents when they live 10,000 miles away. Heck, if babies (or grandparents)can figure it out, so can you. It's free. It's easy. It's downloadable with the click of a button. Skype!

Random Tuesdays

2009-05-26T22:03:00.001+10:00

It’s Tuesday. It’s random. It’s just how it is.

I have never seen a shop here that sells popcorn. Ever. Movie theaters offer popcorn and it tastes like it was made two weeks ago. But back to the popcorn shops – remember all those shops in the 80’s in the US that sold JUST POPCORN. Seriously, did they really think that business model would actually last? And do you remember the tins that you could purchase for housing the popcorn? Those tins cost a silly amount but you could keep them and put stuff in them. What stuff? More popcorn?
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Most of my coworkers are Australians and I find that when I am reading an email from one of them, it plays out in my head with their accent. Perhaps this happens because it’s a rather infectious way of speaking.
However, most recently we have hired someone from the UK and now that seems to be infiltrating my brain as well. After just a 15 minute conversation with him, everything I read plays along in my head in the Queen’s English – even MY OWN writing.
Spot of tea, anyone?
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Speaking of accents…When I am meeting someone new in one of my accounts, I introduce myself this way, “Hi, I’m Elizabeth from Boston Scientific…”
For some reason, certain people don’t hear the last word of that statement. I know that I’m in for an awkward situation when they start to talk about whether or not they’ve been in Boston or if they’ve visited America at all. After this goes on for a bit, they will usually realize something is amiss and politely ask, “So, Elizabeth from Boston, what company do you represent?”
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Cords, Outlets, Dishwasher, Shoelaces = Madden’s favorite toys
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In our house we have several cute little soft cuddly toys for baby. Has she bonded with them? NO. Instead, she has chosen to bond with a felt block that we got for free from a local fair. About eight weeks ago this fabric block was rather OK, but is now flattened to an oval, covered in drool, and overall just nasty. That ridiculous thing is her favorite. Other toys forsaken, I am sorry to report that (much to the chagrin of her parents) this felt nasty cube is the chosen one.
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In an effort to get our child to bond with something other than the felt nasty block, we purchased a new little set of toys for Madden. It was a box of cloth sea creatures - some rattled, some squeaked, and one even had crinkly paper inside. Four soft little toys that we knew she would adore. We proudly lay the box on the floor and she pulled out the toys one at a time and unceremoniously dumped them on the floor.

Then she got a huge smile on her face and squealed in delight as she stuffed the paper packaging into her mouth. The toys remained untouched on the floor but our daughter proceeded to play with the packaging and the box itself for the next day and a half.
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A note to all shoe-free households: Please stop making your guests deposit their footwear at the door and walk around in their stocking feet for the duration of the evening. It is simply not realistic. My feet get cold in your home. My pants are tailored to the bottom of my heel and I personally like making people think I’m actually 5 foot 8 inches tall. Besides, the best part of my outfit are my new shoes.
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Whenever I’m chatting with patients and they mention that they have been married for a number of years (40 or 50 years of marriage is not unusual), I ask them to share their secrets. This idea is actually borrowed from a friend of mine whom I used to work with at United in St. Paul. Anyway, patients will usually giggle for a while until they realize I’m serious. Then they put some deep thought into their answers.

I have been asking this question for about 5 years now and I love the replies. Most people say things like “Don’t go to bed angry…Marry the right person…or communicate.” All excellent advice and I love the look on their faces as they are thinking about their own relationships.

Some of my favorite bits of advice have included “Just remember you each need to do 70% of the work…Hold hands…and let the other person win.” One elderly woman winked and said, “Oh, honey, it works because I always let him drive the car.”

40

2009-05-21T23:14:00.000+10:00

I find myself sitting in the dermatologist’s office waiting to have the doctor look at a spot on my back. Apparently, this spot has been growing steadily for the past year and my lovely hubby who can actually see it on my back told me it was time to have it checked. So, here I am. Waiting. And waiting. It’s nice. I have a little me time. Normally I think I’d be peeved about waiting, but at this time in my life, I’m happy to have a moment to myself. I look at my watch and realize I’m waiting because I actually arrived early. Um, really early.

So, for the first time in months, I find myself reading a magazine. And I am really getting into reading this magazine. So much so, I miss it when they call my name. And I’m the one and only person in the waiting room.

The particular article I was reading was commentary from women sharing their experiences about being 30, 40, 50, and 60 years old. It was well written and a fantastic read, but I was cut short and I didn’t finish it. Perhaps it being unfinished for me is why it’s still very much on my mind - but I think it also really spoke to me. I’d love to chase it up and have a read of it from start to finish, but I didn’t catch the magazines title and I think the issue was September 2007 anyway.

Having reached a new decade myself in January, age has been on my mind. Well, not so much age as stage in life and how I feel about my age and where I am versus where I thought I’d be.

First of all, I don’t feel 40. I can’t remember what I thought 40 would feel like, but it wasn’t like this. Older maybe? More together? More in control? Inside I’m still the same insecure geeky girl I was in grade school. I’m surprised everyone doesn’t see it – but they don’t.

I’m not where I want to be but I’m OK with where I’m at, for now. In 5 years time, I don’t know what I’ll be doing or where I’ll be but it will be different from now. I’m more accepting of change and the good and bad that goes with it, but I look for something to grasp for security.

40 has brought exhaustion. Blame it on age, work, or baby. Whatever. But dang, I’m tired! I just want 5 more minutes of sleep. People, it’s all I ask. 5 more minutes.

I also want more time. The clock moves faster and faster...days become weeks….weeks roll into months and suddenly, its Christmas again. Year after year, it’s Christmas and next year I swear I’ll buy gifts earlier, and I’ll get into the spirit of the season more, and it won’t be so chaotic, if I could only breathe, and then it’s Christmas again. Eek.

And every year I go through more gallons of moisturizer and yet those lines are not going away. The ones around my eyes show up in photos now. So do the bags. Because I just want 5 more minutes of sleep.

In my 20’s I had time to do extensive make up and elaborate hair. I would like a bit of that time back. I promise I’d spend it more wisely.

I would also like to be back in a smaller size. But I’m not. And strangely, it doesn’t torment me like it would have a decade ago.

When I spend time in front of a mirror these days, it’s because I’m holding a baby and she wants to see herself. For the first time in my life, I know what I look like when I genuinely smile and laugh, because I can see it played back at me. I look happy.

Work and baby leave no time for some of the things I used to love to do – pottery, nights out, good books, working out, gardening, traveling, and cooking. I think these things have stopped in part because she’s just a baby still. I miss them and I’ll get back to them over time but I’m not willing to pursue them now at the expense of cutting my time with my family short.

I find I feel a greater connection to the world around. World events shape me and haunt me more than ever.

There is more calm at this age than there was at 20 or 30. There is also far less drama. I am no longer fighting small battles, but find that I sometimes become outraged by inequities within a greater system.

I notice a desire to learn. I’m shamed that I can’t recite the names of the US Presidents in order. Certainly I should have learned this along the way. I find myself staring at world maps. I desperately want a greater understanding of the political machine, world economies, and investing. I demand to know who got us into a global financial crisis.

Sometimes, like in this doctor’s office simply reading a magazine, I get a nostalgic feeling about my past. I can vividly remember everything from studying in college to living in Italy to starting a job in Aspen. It’s like a flood sometimes. I miss moments of it but I’m more aware, content, and fulfilled in my life now.

Mainly I just think, how did I get here? Wasn’t I just 20? Weren’t my sister’s kids just babies? When did we all grow up?

I came across a birthday card once that read, “Inside every old person is a young person that wondered what the heck happened.” Does that mean when I’m 90 I’m still going to feel like an insecure, geeky grade schooler?

Oh, and that spot on my back…it’s fine. “It’s what we call a liver spot,” said the dermatologist. “It’s something that happens with age.”

Random Tuesday Thoughts

2009-05-18T21:18:00.000+10:00

Since writing a blog entry in my head and actually getting one posted are two entirely different beasts, I've decided to copy an idea from someone else's blog. Jenni over at Oscarelli posts what she calls "Random Tuesday's". I've been a bit scatterbrained with my thoughts and ideas and this seems a good way to get the ball rolling. Besides, none of these things are actually enough to be an entry on their own. Let the Randomness begin…

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I ran into a customer today that I haven’t seen since before taking maternity leave. She asked how things were going and I went on and on and on. I couldn't help it. She also went on and on about her own two kids. Finally, she asked if I was getting used to being someones mum and I had to pause.
The answer is no. I still don't think of myself as someones mom.
Sometimes when Madden is in her cot sleeping, I sit by her side and thank the lord that she is in my life. Yet I don't think of her as "mine." In my mind she's just this sweet little being that has come to live with Eric and me. Sometime, her real parents will show up at our door and want her back, but until that time, she's staying with us and we are going to have a lot of fun.

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On my route home from work, I drive past a beautiful old Victorian church tucked neatly into a neighborhood. Outside the front of the church is a very unattractive black digital sign. It's the type of sign that flashes or scrolls typed bright red words across its length. On Monday evenings the sign boldly flashes the words AA MEETING TONIGHT. So much for that second A.

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Apparently we don't have the Greek alphabet in Australia.
Here is the conversation when I had to spell a patients name over the phone…

Me: That’s S as in Sam, E like elephant and K like Kappa….
Other: Don't you mean C like cuppa?
Me: (Pause) That's K as in Kappa
Other: Kappa?
Me: Yes
Other: We don't have Kappa's here

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One of our favorite Australian shows is "Bondi Beach Rescue". Yes, the Bondi lifeguards saving people from waves. Not much happens on that show, but it's got great characters and I think we are both fascinated by the fact that life guarding on a beach like Bondi is a career – people do this their WHOLE lives.

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My Industry sponsors a big conference each year in early May in the US. The meeting took place last week in Boston and on Friday afternoon I got a call from my two Aussie coworkers who attended the conference. They were drinking and dialing – it was 2:30 in the morning in Boston and they were hanging out with people that I had worked with in Saint Paul. My worlds collided.

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Facebook. Still not sure how I feel about it. Privacy invader or fun social outlet?

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I remember when we used to go out on Friday and Saturday nights. All grandparents are invited to move to Australia. We need babysitting.

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On Mother's Day we went to the Botanical Gardens. The day was one of those rare perfect weather, perfect time of year moments. It was a bit of Indian summer. We walked to our favorite wide expanse of lawn in the park and as when we arrived, we stood in silence. It was a scene from a painting. The green lawn sloped down to the water and rose up the other side. The cityscape was visible in the background and the lawn was dotted with people picnicking, kids playing, and dogs in little plaid sweaters being walked by their owners. We sat on the lawn next to the pram and basked in the sun for an hour. Even Monet couldn't have done justice to that scenery.

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I'm thinking about working out. That's a good step. Maybe I will even attempt to put my thoughts into action.
I'm also thinking about reading a book, something other than Baby Love, What to Expect the First Year, The Sleep Easy Solution, Healthy Sleep Habits, or Settling Your Baby.
You get the picture.

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Daycare Drama

2009-03-26T22:33:00.002+11:00

I’m afraid of the boys in my daughter’s daycare.

It was late – almost their closing time - and I raced in to get Madden. At the end of the day all the remaining kids are together and usually outside enjoying the good weather. When I arrived, she was across the yard in the caregivers arms. She saw me, I saw her, and I loudly said, “HI BABY!” and she squealed in delight. So satisfying.

Then, the boys were there. Suddenly three older kids were upon me…teasing, jeering and yelling “Baby, Baaabbbyyyy, hiiiii baby.” They were crazed…circling me, taunting me with my own happiness. One even began leaping up at me and trying to grab my face. It was utter madness. Strangely, I was embarrassed and a bit frightened at the same time. How could I be afraid? After all, aren’t these kids like, at the most, FOUR years old??? I am actually 37 years OLDER than these little punks. So, why didn’t I feel like an adult?

Perhaps there is something about kids teasing that takes a person back in time suddenly and without warning. There I was back in carpool. Seven kids packed into the back of some parent’s gigantic wood paneled station wagon. Parry Dilworth was teasing me and pulling at the pony tails in my hair.

OK, it wasn’t that bad, but still…what a strange feeling.

I scooped up Madden and bolted through the doors of daycare. All the while I was whispering in her ear, “I’ll save you baby, you’re safe now,” when deep down I knew that it was her who was saving me.

That night led to a lot of thinking about daycare. It was not easy to find a place for her and we were on waiting lists since last July. This was back when Eric was working and we thought we’d end up needing full time care. It turns out she is just there two days per week so that she can learn to ‘play’ with other kids and have a bit of social time.

When we first went to visit this particular place, there were signs on the door that read, “We have had several incidents of lice in the past week – please check your children.”

Eee gads to that. We thought we’d never be back.

Wouldn’t you know they were the only place to call and offer us placement.

It turns out this center is the smallest of the ones at which we applied. We like the fact that there are only 30 kids total and we like that there are only 5 kids in the “under 2” room. Madden is the youngest kid by a long shot and she is often getting held and cuddled when I go to pick her up. She seems to be settling in well and doesn’t look too tired, or hungry, or upset when she comes home.

There is a chart on the wall that the daycare teacher fills in with details like the number of wet nappies, times that baby slept, and how many milliliters she drank from her bottles. Now that she’s eating solids her teacher fills in what she ate for “afternoon tea”. I rather like that. It’s so Australian.

They also keep a large scrap book in the room where they write the days activities and often include a happy photo of each child. Madden’s picture on Monday showed her in a bin of plastic balls. Next to the photo was a description that told me of my daughter’s development and excellent use of gross motor skills.
On close inspection of the photo, it was apparent that my little girl had red rings around her eyes. Hmmm.

So now I’m onto them and their game. When I drop off Madden, there is always a kid crying and another that is about to do something that will surely be reprimanded.
The REAL book would probably read something like this…

After two hours of inconsolable crying, your child was placed in the bucket of plastic balls where she finally found a brief moment of happiness. (We took a photo of happy Madden for the book). In the meantime, Ned was playing on the ground until Jake hit him over the head with the wooden block letter B. We were unable to tend to Ned due to Ari having his diaper changed at that exact moment. He cried for a time until we managed to give him a pacifier and this calmed him (see happy photo of Ned in book). Then Ari and Jake got in a fight over the letter B. At this time, Mia woke from her nap and fussed for a bottle. The two boys continued fighting until Mia’s bottle was found and mixed. Madden was now becoming unhappy after being stuck in the plastic ball box for over 20 minutes. Mia, Madden, Jake and Ned all started to cry in unison. Ari started to open the locked cabinet and was very pleased with himself. (See contented photo of Ari). Cabinet was locked and mental note was made to ensure that cabinet’s dangerous contents were not loose in baby room. Jake, now victorious since overpowering the others and getting the letter B all to himself, holds it proudly over his head (see photo in book)…..etc….etc.

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I came home tonight, opened up my email, and found a note from Madden’s daycare…”Please be warned that there has been one child diagnosed with worms as well as another child diagnosed with a case of conjunctivitis. Please check your child for the following signs and symptoms…..”

It Seemed like a Good Idea at the Time.

2009-03-19T22:52:00.002+11:00

We met some other Americans when we first moved to Australia and we have become close. There seem to be a lot of similarities as couples, other than they are about ten years younger than we are. Unfortunately for us Adam and Jenn are leaving and heading back to the States in April.

As one of the many last hurrahs, we decided to meet up with them and another couple (our friends Tim and Tash and daughter Celeste) in the Barossa region of South Australia. For you wine geeks out there, Barossa is known for Shiraz.

Since Beth is returning to work after the glorious invention of maternity leave, we had options of transport. 1) Fly: The benefit of flying is of course time but is more costly. 2) Train: there was a special running for $198 all of us could ride, including taking a car. The problem is that our car was too tall for the train. Imagine that. 3) Drive: I am always up for a good road trip, the cost is reasonable, and it allows us the flexibility of time and what we can see along the way. Drive wins!

Everything begins fine, we get a late start in the morning because Madden needs feeding, then a change, and we have to try to time starting the journey with one of her long nap times. I then delayed it even further because I wanted a coffee from the local shop. I am trying to remember if Beth has blogged about the traffic here. If she hasn't, lets just say that it is awful and we get about 30 miles away within the first 2 hours when Madden has to stop to feed again. That's fine, I completely expected that we would be stopping frequently. I just thought that we would be past the outskirts of town.

Bill Bryson wrote a book about Australia, I have not read it yet but I understand that it is pretty good and the title is very appropriate….In a Sunburned Country. As most of you know we have had devastating fires here and driving through the countryside you can start to understand why. As we get past the outer ring of Melbourne the landscape looks like a tan sea. You can start to see it in the dry lawn at the end of a Minnesota summer, but it goes on as far as one can see and there has been very little watering for the last decade. Unfortunately this is where Madden started to projectile vomit. Egads

In short order we had to stop to mop everything up. Of course it can't be contained to just her. We have to take the car seat out and clean it and the back seat. This went on for what seemed like hours. I think that we were about 60 miles away from Melbourne now...just barely into a 10 hour trip. In the outback you have to take certain precautions that we are now quickly learning. Finding a tree that can provide shade is a good example, or when you make piles on the ground of the stuff that you have to clean you need to make certain that your child is not placed near one of the many gigantic anthills! I also just may invest in one of the stupid looking hats with corks dangling from the brim as this keeps the flies out of a persons eyes.

Through perseverance, patience, endurance, tolerance, persistence, fortitude, serenity, prayer, or whatever it was that got us through, we made it about ¾ 's of the way. However, ¾ 's of the way is on the edge of nowhere. Not a wide selection in motel's. Let us suffice to say that the Keith Motor Lodge does not rank in my top 10 places, and the attached sub par "restaurant" was the only place in the whole town to eat. I am thankful that we stopped though. When we pulled Madden out of her seat she was listless, gray, and her lips were blue. After a day of not keeping anything down she was terribly dehydrated. We called the local hospital to get some advice as to what we should do. We were reassured that we were doing the right thing but that if her symptoms persisted that we should bring her in. My understanding of fear has reached a new level.

After a really long night and subsequent long next day...we arrived in the Barossa and our holiday cottage. Madden was still vomiting but a bit pinker in color and we were so relieved to have her out of the car and be in the company of other people.

The cottage that we stayed in was really cool. It was a three bedroom place with walls that were sufficiently thick to isolate the couple without a child from the other two couples with children. Plus we got to go to some fun vineyards and drink some fantastic wine. We even signed up for a session where we could mix a Grenache, Shiraz, and Mourvedre, to our own special blend and bottle it. Part of the great fun of this was that it reminded Beth and me of being back at the U of M in chemistry lab. My blend is called Madden's Two Tooth Vintage, and Beth's is called Casa de Tjopert. In a blind taste test 3 out of 6 people picked mine to be the favorite. I am not sure how to feel about that. Am I proud that I can mix a good wine, or am I disturbed that my taste buds appeal to the masses.

Also in the blind taste test, Beth ranked her bottle to be the worst mix...even going so far as to label it "foul." Most everyone agreed that it was a bad blend. She blames it on almost a year of not drinking and I'll grant her that.

Penfolds is one of the more famous wineries in the Barossa valley. There are a lot of people milling about the tasting room and the occasional oddball is present as well. I was pushing Madden in her pram and as I turned a corner a man was standing there fussing with his belt. Before I know it his pants had fallen to the ground and he stood there fully exposed in the corridor. I am not sure what to think about it, was he exposing himself to me, the sleeping child, or was he just drunk? I am voting for option 3 that seems to be the least offensive of the three. I also object to black bikini underwear on short, portly men…..

Our other friends that we met up with are Tim and Natasha (She was actually named after the character on Bullwinkle. I am trying to get her to say "moose and squirrel" with a Russian accent.) They have a beautiful 2 year old named Celeste. Celeste has taken a liking to Madden and vice versa. Celeste pretended her water bottle was a phone and was heard saying "Hi Mads, hey you goin' Mads, g'day mate." Not only is it really cute that she did that, but a 2 year old Australian girl has given her a nickname that just may stick. Mads.

You would think that everything would now be on our side for the long drive home, but fate has its own agenda. On the morning that we were to leave the cottage, Beth and Madden both began vomiting. I was not about to give up on the thought that we could still take a leisurely route home and see some of the sights since we missed them on the drive out. Wouldn't everyone want to take a ferry out to a place called Kangaroo Island? This is where Beth put her foot down, no to an extra day on the road and a big fat no to a ferry!!!!! I still had dreams of the three of us playing in the sand and walking along the ocean. We didn't make it very far that first night and stayed in another bad motel with a sick mom and baby. I've had better road trips.

The next day, they were still both sick but we agreed to remedy this holiday and stay for the night in a cute little town called Port Fairy. The path from Port Fairy to Melbourne is a famous for scenery. It is called the Great Ocean Road. We have driven it several times and I wasn't too excited about driving it again but it was better than nothing. We checked in to a beautiful cottage and instead of going out to see the town, we bought a pizza and sat on the floor and played with Madden. We were all happy to be tucked in for the night and everyone was feeling better. It was a perfect evening.

The next morning was our day to drive the great ocean road and salvage what we could of the road trip portion of our vacation. But, the next morning - I was ill! I didn’t get the same stomach virus that the two ladies had but it totally wiped me out. Beth was feeling better and so could drive the rest of the way. It was a unanimous decision to skip the Great Ocean Road and take the most direct way home - through the same ugly sunburned landscape we had just driven.

We have wondered why people just plant themselves at resorts for an entire vacation, but now we get it. Road trips with an infant rarely work.

I wouldn't say that this is the worst road trip we have ever had, the car is still in one piece, but we did learn something from it.

Next time we fly.

Return from Hibernation

2009-02-25T13:09:00.005+11:00

I apologize for not being attentive to our blog. Sometimes when there is too much to write, I’m unable to get anything down at all. Blame it on being too busy, blame it on the constant influx of new experiences and the lack of time to process it all, or blame in on the hazy time that is maternity leave. Now as things pick up with our return to AU and my return to work, I suddenly feel that urge to write. But where do I even begin? How can I convey what a whirlwind these last few months of new parenthood have been? The first time Eric and I laid eyes upon our little girl, the wonderment of her first coo and her first laugh, the joy of having her meet her grandparents and their joy in meeting her, the weird body changes, the trauma of labor and delivery, the insecurity, and emotional turmoil that goes along with having a baby… really, it’s all just so overwhelming!
Perhaps the best way to do this is just to type away and see where it takes me…

Minnesota
Our time in Minnesota was first and foremost COLD. It was one of the coldest January’s on record and after having missed an entire winter, we realized how intolerant of it we have become. Where was our thick Midwestern blood and our “It’s not that bad” attitude? Instead, Eric and I couldn’t believe the shock of the temperature on our bodies. To add insult to it all, we both suffered episodes of high-fever-absolute-knock-out winter flu that we thankfully didn’t pass on to our daughter.

Poor baby had to be bundled up in a bunny suit and hauled around in a car seat and a pre-heated car. Her entire head was one layer of eczema upon another. She learned to do “the arch” where her entire midsection would try and buck out of her car seat. This was usually accompanied by sputtering protests and eventual screaming.

The lesson learned is that newborns and winter are very confining. To all those who have experienced this for longer than the measly two months that I endured it…you have my complete sympathy. I get it and acknowledge the difficulty of it! For your struggles, I think you should all be allowed to spend the winter in Hawaii.

The good of the trip, was EVERYTHING else. We got to catch up with friends and family and had time for baby to charm the heck out of her grandparents. Christmas with a baby takes on a whole new meaning and I actually cried in church when I heard the story of Jesus’ birth. Yeah, I know, I’ve heard it a thousand times, but it was suddenly so real for me.

Madden’s grandparents all wanted to see her many times and I loved it when they held her and she smiled for them and cooed. Even better still was when she fell asleep in their arms. When my parents and my in-laws opened the door to their homes, their eyes would immediately look towards the car seat draped over Eric’s forearm. It was always an afterthought to hug and kiss us, their adult children. And you know what? We wouldn’t have had it any other way.

We stayed in Red Wing with Eric’s parents for Christmas and two other times but based ourselves mainly at my mom’s in St. Paul. Her place is a 1 ½ bedroom cottage for seniors. We had our fair share of attention having a baby around there. Space was at a premium in my mom’s little home but she was content to have us around and I haven’t spent that much time with her since I was in high school. I loved being in her pleasant company and she was so happy to have her grandbaby in the next room. I’m sure after TWO months of us however, she’s a bit relieved to have her place back to herself.

We anticipated that when we were home, we would go out with friends and shop and see movies… who were we kidding? We were still very much in new parent phase and mainly we just played with our little Madden. She was only seven weeks old when we went home and there was a great deal of growing both mentally and physically during that time. We were exhausted, I was still struggling with nursing, and we were trying to get baby to sleep when we slept. One would think that two whole months would give us a great deal of time, but the baby learning curve took up the majority of that. I managed to take in two movies and feel there should be some sort of reward for that –even if I cried throughout the first movie because of separation anxiety…

This winter brought new joy in simple things. Heck, we were just happy to make it out of the house! It was wonderful to see friends, play dominoes, go up north, have pictures of Madden taken, go to dinners in people’s homes and out, enjoy lazy breakfasts, play oodles of cards, play with friends kids, get lessons in Photoshop, or just meet for a coffee.

Life couldn’t be the crazy kind of cram-as-much-as-you-can-into-a-moment sort of existence that I tend to pursue. It all had to move slower as there were good hours and fussy hours, nap times, necessary nappy changes, and feeding schedules to manage. When I look at those words written out, it all seems so limiting. But strangely, it wasn’t. It was actually a bit freeing. Why is that? Nothing had to be perfect. Ahhh. That was it. It was finally a time where I could be forgiving of myself for not getting things done in an exacting way.

And yes, we enjoyed for the very first time some activities that requires one have a kid in order to participate. Hooray! We have both wanted to go to kid activities for years. These activities included Breakfast with Santa at my high school and attending the Red Balloon book reading for babies and toddlers. Admittedly, I got more out of the book reading than did Madden, but hey, I had a kid and could therefore not be turned away. Just think of all the years of children’s museums, silly little board games, county fairs, and Pixar films ahead of us. Tee Hee.

Australia
When we returned to Melbourne, it was hot. I’m not talking just Mexico-in-winter kind of hot…it was 100 degrees hot. We went from craving pot roast and potatoes to feasting on fruit and any beverage with ice. It actually felt wonderful to be able to open windows, to sit outside, and not to have to wear 5 layers of clothing nor bundle the baby. We went to the pool, took long walks in the evening, and generally enjoyed just being outside.
However, after just one week here, there was suddenly a heat surge to 115 degrees accompanied by gale force winds. Both natural causes as well as arsonists conspired to create one of the worst disasters in Victoria’s history. Over twenty bush fires raged out of control and the loss of human life is astonishing.

The message has always been the same for those living in the country side; you can flee early or stay in your home to defend it against the fire. It has actually been successful in the past and people have been able to save their homes. However, when you put together the terrible heat, dry brush due to a 10 year drought, and the strength of the wind that was present that day, the end result was raging fire tornadoes that destroyed everything in their path. No person defending their home with a garden hose stood a chance.
It was awful, stupid and senseless. The stories that are emerging are dreadful and the news has been running nightly disaster relief efforts and bushfire tragedy stories since that day. It’s impossible to escape.

One of our good friends here works at an agency that does mapping and disaster planning for emergency services. She has had to listen to the 000 (our 911) calls from the people trapped in their cars and home during the fires. When she talks about the tragedy, her reaction is one of anger.

From our vantage point in the city, we were in no danger. The fires that burned out of control for days remained at least a 30 minute drive from the city. However, the city remained smoky and smelling like a campfire. We chose to keep baby and ourselves inside when it was windy because the air quality outside was so bad. The only effect we witnessed was that dusk brought spectacular sunsets of beautiful oranges and reds that bounced off the smoke in the sky.

Beginning to emerge from all the rubble are stories of heroism and unlikely survival. A benefit concert has taken place and donations have been rolling in for the victims of the fires. Hope is infiltrating.

Well, that’s it for the time being. It’s back to work, back to life, and back to this foreign country we have embraced for now. Madden is in daycare a couple days a week, she’s busy growing, and just sprouted her first tooth. Eric is back looking for work and contented being a “manny” three days a week. He’s been attending meetings with the other stay at home mums and having a great time. I’m back to work part time for now and enjoying my days with my little family. My favorite times are when we head to the pool together.

It’s the lazy days of summer and I want them to go on indefinitely. Too bad winter and work will get in the way of our fun.

Parting the Clouds

2008-11-18T13:45:00.008+11:00

Six weeks in.
Madden is starting to smile. I am looking forward to Christmas in Minnesota and I'm loving this invention called Maternity leave. My mom came to Australia and left again. It was great to have another set of arms to hold this little girl and jiggle her and settle her through some of that bad period. I would listen as my mom would talk with Madden about the weather, her future, her relatives, and on and on. It was so cute. Madden is a much more contented baby than she was just a few weeks back. She still returns to her feral state from time to time, but overall, life is SO MUCH BETTER.

At the end of my mom's visit, we even managed a three day trip to Tasmania. We took the overnight ferry accross the straight and Madden slept through. Now Eric wants to move to a houseboat!

I realize I never announced the winner of the due date guessing game... Christine Chovan was the closest with a vote that was just one day and one ounce off. Christine's guess was 30th/Girl/8lb, 6oz. An honorable mention goes to Amy Brenengen with a guess of the 30th/Girl/8 pounds 1 oz. Here is a photo of Christine, so that you can all look at her and say, "Congratulations, Good prediction Christine."

It took having a child to finally get around to it, but I did post a bunch of photos online. Pictures of our little girl, our wedding, and some of our travels around Australia can be viewed. The link is http://adventuresofeande.shutterfly.com/ and the password is Madden

(of course).

Wouldn't you like to be on a 14 hour flight seated next to us?

2008-10-31T17:00:00.007+11:00

A solid month has gone by and I can't account for anything I've done. I've lived in baby world for the past four weeks. I birthed a baby, slept a little, and occassionally took a shower and fed myself. On the rare day that I decide to go somewhere, I can usually manage to get out the door by 3pm.

If you are one of the folks who has kindly emailed me, or tried to skype call me, I am getting them and I do appreciate it...but I can't seem to get ANYTHING done.

During the first week, I seemed to be able to do things, but for the past three weeks, we have been continually rocking and soothing a very unhappy little girl. Both baby and mom have been very weepy as a result. Finally, after a bit of trial and error, it seems that my child is allergic to whatever I'm eating as well as whatever formula has been given to her.

The diagnostic process has involved oodles of medication, formula, screaming, spitting up, pumping, lots of advice, herbal treatments, worry, frantic parents, lack of sleep, tears, reading of every child help book we can, and many doctors visits. Our sweet little girl can be so peaceful at rest and giggles and coos and squeeks...but when she starts to cramp up and arch, it's a long process to get things right again.
We are still experimenting, but it is SO time consuming. I can't feed her myself but want to keep up any supply I have and so I am pumping all the time. I feel like a cow. In the meantime, she is on this expensive formula that Eric and I refer to as liquid gold. It's the best solution so far until I can get her to stop rejecting me. Such emotion surrounds this!

Now I'm on some crazy diet that makes Weight Watchers seem easy.
The list of "can't have's" include all dairy products, soy, wheat, nuts, fish, and eggs.
If you are asking yourself, "Well, what can you eat." I would just like to say, "Amen to that."

Where is Mississippi Market when you need it?

Tired and Happy

2008-10-12T23:35:00.010+11:00

I have so much to say. So so so much! But finding the time to actually sit down and write a long entry is a bit tricky.

I have a notebook that I kept with me at the hospital...it has several phrases and things written in shorthand to jog my memory and help me to compose the blog of all blogs.

Have I written it yet? Ha!
Yesterday I was sitting on the floor playing with Madden when I caught a glimpse of the apartment in the mirror. In view was a stroller strewn with blankets and burp cloths, a couch filled with partially folded laundry, a room filled with bouquets of massive and bizarre Australian flowers, unopened mail galore, and a pile of dishes on the counter.

The whole scene made me laugh.

As I type this now, the setting in our place doesn't look much different. I keep feeling like there are 14 things I need to get to at any given time and but I accomplish none of them. And yet, if my child is fed, clothed, and content, I feel like I've achieved everything.

So...there is so much to say...but it will all have to wait.

I just have to realize that saying a little bit is enough for now.

That...and photos.

Hopefully photos will suffice.

Especially this last one...

Welcome, my dear Eric, to a house of women...

Madden Grace Tjossem

2008-10-03T17:26:00.003+10:00

Here she is...finally she has arrived.

We can't be more excited.

I cannot stay and blog long because, I can't stand to be away from my girls.
I wanted to give everyone the essentials.

Date: Oct 1 2008
Time: 11:55 AM
Place: Royal Woman's Hospital, Frances Perry Wing
Weight: 3.84 Kilos (8lbs 7ozs)
Length: 51 cm (20 inches)

Both Mum and Bub are doing well.
I think that they are both doing better than me, I am still in a state of being blissfully overwhelmed.

I promise that we will blog again in a few days, I am on my way back to see the two lovely ladies.

41 weeks

2008-09-29T04:39:00.007+10:00

41 Weeks. Really? This wasn’t supposed to happen.

Am I making too nice a home for this kid and he or she doesn’t want to come out?

We were SURE that it would happen this weekend. It hasn’t yet and doesn’t look likely.

Having no plans at all for the weekend was a bit odd for us. Each day we would just wake up and say, “OK, what now?” We managed to go and watch the Footy Grand Finals (like the Superbowl) broadcast on the big outdoor screen at Federation Square in downtown Melbourne. It was a sunny and hot day and I realize that we have suddenly stumbled into summer. No, we’ve been thrown into summer. That means every day I will be wearing the ONE and ONLY pair of summer capris that I own. Beige Capri pants and a purple T shirt is the look of the season apparently.

We’ve eaten out a fair amount this weekend…mainly concentrating on Vietnamese food (my latest craving). I realize that when my stomach growls it sounds like it’s coming from my spine. Where exactly are my stomach and intestines these days?

Today is Sunday and Eric and I wandered down to our favorite breakfast spot along the river. There were kids everywhere and many of them having tantrums. We began to talk about how most of our friends kids were pulling out from the baby and toddler years. We both have nephews and nieces in their 20’s and although some of our friends have babies still (bless your hearts for waiting as long as we did!), many have kids that are growing up now. We watched as they survived and “got through” those years. Eee gads! What were we thinking!

One of my friends who is trying to get pregnant wrote something wonderful about watching a kid in front of her at Kinko’s having a temper tantrum. She wrote, "How could I want something so badly that terrifies me so much?" I get that.

Another friend wrote me a kind email acknowledging that I had heard and witnessed many of the difficulties in raising kids and that no one really seems to talk enough about the joys of parenting.

People do talk about it “being wonderful”, but they leave out the specifics.
Perhaps it’s just easier to talk specifically about the times that are difficult.

Her exact words were this…”And the joy! the miraculousness of it all -- that is way harder to articulate than the challenges”

I needed that…thank you.

*******************

For those that are keeping score and wondering how their bet is coming along…There are officially still 6 of you in the running…

Unfortunately Eliminated...

Eric: 19th/boy/7lb, 4oz.

Hal: 20th/Boy/8lb,4oz.

Anna: 20th/Girl/7 pounds 2 ounce

Pep: 22nd (at 8:42 am your local time)/boy (Leo)/3.58 kilos (7.9lb
Beth: 23rd/Girl/7lb, 8oz.

Lori M: 23rd/Girl/8 lb,1 oz
Brandon: 23rd/Boy/45 pounds 11 ounces (8.5 for real)

Val and Steve: 25th/Boy/7 pounds, 12 ounces

Adam F: 26th/Girl/8lb, 2oz.

Nicolas: 26th/Girl/Weight unknown

Geraldine: 26th/Girl/7lb, 7.5 oz.

Linda G: 26th/boy (Noah or Levi)/7 lbs 8oz

Jenni: 26th/Girl/7lb,9oz.

Ann M: 26th/7lb 10oz./Boy (if girl name is Ann Elizabeth Tjossem after her aunt)

Amy S: 27th/Boy (Jean-Luc)/7lbs, 6 oz.

Laura O’B: 28th/Boy/8 pounds 3 ounces

Kristina: 28th/7 lbs. 8 oz./male

Still in the Running...

Jenn D: 29th/Boy/7lb, 7oz.
Mom Lampert: 29th/Boy or Girl (can’t decide)/7lb, 12oz.

Pete B: 29th/Boy/7.5 lb (born in the Conservatory with a candle stick)

Mark H: 29th/Girl/3.8 kilograms (8.4lb)

Christine: 30th/Girl/8lb, 6oz
Amy B: 30th/Girl/8 pounds 1 oz
Matt B: 30th/Boy/3.57 kilos (7.9 lbs)

Tadpole Diaries #5

2008-09-24T22:35:00.009+10:00

September 1

Our German friends had their baby six days ago. Yesterday we went to see them. We went in the afternoon after they were back from shopping for several hours at the mall. When we got to their house, all was in order and they were calm and relaxed looking. Rachel had the baby in one arm and was sipping a cup of tea. They had a 'home birth' with a private midwife present and all went just fine. 9 hours of labor. No problems. They said the kid was easy...sleeping 7 hours a night already. Rachel was back to normal size and wearing her regular jeans. She looked great. The breast feeding was easy. She told me all about the things I would need and wondered why I hadn't gotten a pump yet, and why I didn't have certain things. She was going to take a business trip back to the states with her kid in just 2 1/2 weeks time.

When I was ill and vomiting during the early months of pregnancy, Rachel was out sea kayaking. I'm far bigger than she ever got and so much more uncomfortable. To have her tell me she had a natural, somewhat pain free home birth without problems and subsequent quiet, sleeping through the night baby is just too much.

Enormous feelings of inadequacy welled within me. Was Eric expecting me to be in my regular jeans in 6 days? Should I already have the bottles/breast pump thing figured out. I don't even know how to assemble a bottle. And what do you mean the bottles have different flow rates? ugh.

An hour later, we were back in our car and driving away. I said something to Eric about how great they looked. Eric just sighed and stated that clearly, they had faked the pregnancy and just adopted this child. He assured me that he was pretty sure their situation was unusual. I told him that I just knew I wouldn't be in that much control and would probably need a great deal of support. I think we were both relieved that neither of us expected things to be this easy.
Sigh. Germans.

September 3
Went to the OB this AM. All is fine. The due date remains 24th of September and the baby is ready to go. Head down and dropped even though I can't tell. He says that I am having practice contractions but I can't tell that either. I'm hoping I don't notice the real contractions either.
My BP is a little bit above what is normal for me , but what is normal for me is barely a sign of life, so all is well. It figures that it would be a bit elevated as I worked until 9pm last night doing cases. My ankles were not recognizable by the end of the night. On the way home I called Eric and he began to feel sorry for me. I have a nasty cold, hack all night, pee every hour, have almost no voice, and then get stuck at work until really late. I told him not to be so nice because I was desperately trying to hold it together and if he was too nice, I was likely to get weepy.

Every day I want something different from Eric. Poor man
.
He has strict instructions to be sympathetic without being patronizing. I'm not even sure what that means myself.

September 4
Since Eric has become unemployed, he goes to the gym every day and/or goes for a run. He looks fantastic and I am in the worst shape of my life. Mismatched couple.

Also since he isn't working a regular job, Eric returned to his acting roots and has joined a talent agency in town. He's been appearing as an extra on a couple of really bad Australian TV shows lately and he's been an oil rig worker in a construction commercial. Yesterday when I came home from work, there was a post it note on our kitchen table that read, "2 changes of clothing, Satisfaction, near Southbank, 11:15AM, Brothel."

Ummmm...Did that say brothel?

Apparently that was Eric's next gig. He's an extra is some show called "Satisfaction" and it just happens to be in a brothel.

Can I say that I looked like the most understanding wife on the planet? Here I am at 9 months pregnant, dropping my husband off at a house of ladies.

September 5
As the date gets closer I try to tell myself to get excited, but I just keep getting more and more frightened of the labor and delivery part of things. Too many people have told me too many stories for too many years. And suddenly, I can remember each of these stories in full detail.
Yes, terrified.
People see that I'm pregnant, start telling stories, somewhere along the line say something like, "oh, I shouldn't say this...", and continue on anyway.

I'm quite certain that I won't die. I am certain however, that after 4 days of hard labor I will rip in half and never be the same again.

I'm also scared of something called 'forceps'. I'm frightened that they will do something to my baby, that they will hurt him or her, that they will let it go on to long, that they will leave me in a room and forget about me, that the pain meds won't take, that I will ask for an epidural and become paralyzed by it permanently.

I'm particularly emotional and sensitive about this right now. And I wonder why there has to be pain with childbirth. why why why?

September 6
Other than the fear of what's coming, I'm having a good pregnancy.

When I was sick those first few weeks and getting depressed...well...that was bad. Since that time, I'm larger, but my spirits are really good, I'm mobile, I still take walks, go to the gym, eat what I want...all good.

Sure there are discomforts. Straight back chairs are the enemy. I would like to have the ribs on my right side temporarily removed and getting up 8 times a night to use the toilet leaves me tired and understanding of all my patients that complain of prostrate problems. I also am so tired when I get up that I usually run into doors and end up with a few bruises on the arms. But, generally, I'm good.

When I think about all those people who need to be on bed rest, or those who go into labor really early, or those who lose a baby somewhere along the way, I know I am a very lucky woman.

I have a cold right now...a really bad cold. The kind that makes your nose all red, and ruins your voice for days. I've had it for a week now and I can't take anything for it. I can honestly say that is worse than the discomforts of being pregnant.
Pregnancy isn't so bad. Still scared of the delivery part...but pregnancy is OK.

September 7
Father's Day here - again. We celebrated US Fathers Day but now it's Australian Father's Day. Are we going to keep celebrating both each year? Eric and I walked about a mile to our favorite breakfast spot, had a good meal, nice conversation, and pleasant very slow walk home (it's uphill). Eric read all about his beloved Minnesota Vikings online, did a skype call with a friend of his and then took a long nap while I went to the grocery store and picked up some food and beer for him. That was father’s day #2 celebrated here. Waiting under Eric’s pillow is the Dr. Seuss book “Hop on pop” and a book of Sudoku for when we are in the hospital. He has yet to discover it.

***************************************

I have one more week of work before I take leave!!!!! ONE MORE!!!!YEA YEA YEA. The joy this brings me is indescribable.

I have 'nested' at work for two weeks now. My file cabinet is organized and clean for whomever needs to access it. I have completed about a 12 page document outlining the process for getting things done in my accounts when I am away, and my email in box is actually able to be viewed on just one screen. Miracle of miracles.
I have given all my accounts the information that I am leaving and whom they should contact.
My car product stock has been counted and is all present and ready to return to our offices sometime this week. I'm ready.

However, it's now time to get things done at home.

We have the kid stuff we need as Eric has been doing the "nesting" on the home front.
However, there are several things I would like to complete before the baby arrives.
I have one week to do it...so here is my plan:

Monday: Answer about 75 emails in my personal account. Reply with fun, long, and witty responses to all whom have written. Additionally, send all written correspondence via snail mail and purchase creative and worthy gifts for the three friends whom I never got wedding gifts for during the last decade.

Tuesday: Make all doctors appointments for the year, including dentist, dermatologist, general practitioner, pediatrician, scheduled immunizations, etc. After this, take long walk, work out at gym, sit leisurely in cafe while reading paper, stock up at grocery store and then cook gourmet dinner complete with candlelight and music.

Wednesday: Write my first novel. Begin work on screenplay. Learn to use photo shop and print photos for albums, including a wedding book which has yet to be assembled and should probably be done before the baby's album. Take photos of cool and interesting things around Melbourne and post on blog for all to see.

Thursday: Get call from publisher. Contemplate offer while cleaning entire apartment. Cleaning should include washing all carpet and rugs, doing all laundry, washing windows and blinds, organizing all drawers in kitchen and bathroom, organizing bookshelf, organizing files, cleaning out refrigerator shelves, cooking 5-6 meals to be frozen for later consumption, scrubbing kitchen floor and doing gardening on patio.

Friday: Wash, dry, press, fold, and store all maternity work clothing since I won't be needing it anymore. Go through wardrobe and pull out all "possible" clothing that may work for whatever my new shape becomes???
Complete all documentation for Australian taxes since they are due in October.
Prepare all paperwork needed for US consulate offices to obtain baby passport and for Australian consulate for obtaining babies visa.

Saturday
Attend OB appointment in AM, then go to breakfast, spend time with Eric and find cute outfit to attend evening surprise birthday bash in city for friend from work.

Sunday
Collapse on couch and eat ice cream bars all day. Later that evening, have baby.

September 8
Eric and I tried to call our friends Amy and Troy the other day, but they didn't answer so we just left a message. Then...I received this email from Amy...

"Thanks for the phone call. Sorry we missed it! We were having family movie night which is generally loud enough for us not to hear the phone. Last night was Karate Dog with the main character voiced by Chevy Chase. Jon Voigt starred. I think he needed some money. We've already seen all of the Air Bud series. Did you know there are 5?"

I looked up "Karate Dog" on the Rotten Tomatoes Movie Web site and this is the synopsis...

Rated: PG [See Full Rating] Martial Arts Action/Violence and Some Suggestive Content
Runtime: 84 mins
Synopsis: After looking into the death of an elderly man in Chinatown, LAPD computer expert Peter Fowler (Simon Rex) can only find one witness, and it's a dog named Cho Cho. At first this doesn't seem much help, until it is revealed that Cho Cho possesses the power to speak with people. The surprises keep coming, when it turns out that the super dog is also a martial arts master, intent on hunting down his master's killer and making him pay.

Is this what people actually watch with children? I copied her on the review and she sent me an email in return with photos from the movie.

Oh, by the way, besides the original "Air Bud" here are the other titles:

Air Bud: Seventh Inning Fetch
Air Bud: World Pup
Air Bud: Golden Receiver
Air Bud Spikes Back

That is just plain disturbing.

September 8
For years, I enjoyed taking my dog Tofte to the dog park. This is an activity that can ONLY be enjoyed by dog owners. It would be very boring unless you have one to keep your eye on. I would watch some dogs share with Tofte and it would make me happy. I would watch her get snubbed and I would feel bad. Some dogs were faster, others better mannered, others ill tempered. I loved it when I felt proud of her.

Is this a minor version of what a trip to the playground with kids will become?

September 9
I'm like a kid awaiting summer vacation. Four more days of work until I'm off. The air smells like spring and things are in bloom. C'mon summer! I keep calling it my summer holiday...then I have to correct myself and say, I mean maternity leave. Oops. Quite different, right?

September 10 (night)
2 more days!

September 15
Monday...I'm free from work. free free free.

September 16
Since becoming pregnant I have been craving sweets like a mad woman. I was never much into sweets...I preferred a good dinner and simple dessert. Now all I care about is the dessert portion. I've really tried to keep things in check, but right now I have visions of consuming an entire cake, or eating a pie from the center out. One could describe my incredible cravings as more of a fetish...I like to see cakes and pies in shop windows...I gaze longingly at the pictures on the cake and muffin boxes at the supermarket...if someone tells me they made a dessert, I want to hear all about it. I like to make bakery items as well, I've made about 10 dozen cookies, a pie, and 2 cakes in the last few months. I don't eat them, I give them away. Even that gives me great joy. Just the smell of cookies baking in the oven and watching Eric enjoying them is enough. What is this! Will it continue?
I can't take much more of it.
I've now started the bargaining portion of this craving. Well, if I WALK to the store, then I can get the ice cream bar. If I have the ice cream bar for breakfast, I'm more likely to burn off the calories through the day...

Tonight I really wanted mint chocolate chip ice cream...so I made Eric walk with me to the store. When we got there I decided it would melt on the way home and we should make a different selection. Then we had to do the neighborhood cake shop tour. Three stores. We went to three stores before I finally settled on a piece of flourless chocolate cake. Then, when we brought the thing home, it was all I could do to get through dinner in order to get to the cake. I liked it, didn't love it, and I didn't even eat my 1/2 piece. I think it was more about looking at it in the shop window. Bizarre.

Cursed Sweets Craving!

18 September
One of my co-workers who is on maternity leave gave me a bunch of her preggy clothing. She has no plans to have more children and gave me a pile of clothes with the words, "Take what you want, I don't need anything back, and even though most are summer clothes..you may find some things are useful to you throughout this winter." Yes, most things were for summer but I found a few suit pants and tops to be quite useful and kept them. The other items I gave away to the Thrift store. That was about 2 months ago. And yesterday, I took a bunch more items to the thrift store that I thought I might wear but didn't.
So..what happens today? Yes, I get a call from my colleague who says, "Oh, by the way, hold on to those clothes that I gave you because I have another pregnant friend and she could definitely use the summer items."
I can't lie about this one because it's not like I can "make up" the clothing. I had to tell her I only had about half the clothing anymore. Truth is, I probably only have about 1/5 of the items. But tomorrow I will head to the thrift store and see what items I can buy back. Painful.

20 September
Had an early Saturday morning doctors appointment that lead to me sitting in the care center with fetal monitoring equipment strapped to my belly. I expressed that the baby was moving less these days and so my OB sent me for monitoring just to be on the safe side. It was supposed to take just 30 minutes but we were there over an hour. The nurse kept coming in, looking at the printout, shaking her head and saying, "Oh, we'll let it go a bit longer.." Why do they do that! Everybody walking around and saying things in these soothing voices. It makes me think something is wrong when it isn't. We listened to the fast little heartbeat all that time - loved that as we had only heard the heartbeat once before. What was most interesting is that my "fake" contractions appeared on the monitor at regular intervals of every 10 minutes. Maybe that means something?

Finally, the nurse gave us the OK and we were off for the day. That was it, all was fine. No explanation of the extra time needed for the test...but reassurance that we could go about our weekend. Next appointment is the actual due date. I'm hoping I will see my OB in the labor ward sooner than that.

21 September
There is a strange power in being so close to the due date. Every time I call someone, they answer immediately and assume I am calling because I had the baby. My mother checks her email and the blog daily to see if we have posted anything. Really, Mom, you won't be notified via email. You WILL get a phone call and it will be the very first one I make. I promise!

The support from friends and family and the "checking in" has been GREAT. I love it. Just the number of emails increasing has been terrific. And please, everyone, stick around. Because I will definately need support once the baby is out and I am really confused about what to do.

I called Eric multiple times from the grocery store because I left the list at home by accident. When he noticed that he had missed multiple calls, the breathless phone call I got in return was really cute.

Like I said, I have never known this power.

22 September
Old wives tales for inducing labor include eating tropical fruits, drinking castor oil, taking long walks, having acupuncture, drinking brown sugar water, drinking rose leaf tea, eating chocolate, eating spicey food, going on a bumpy drive, meditating, taking a long warm bath, talking to the baby, and massage.
I have now eaten so much pineapple, I don't want to see another one. I'm avoiding the castor oil method but enjoying the nightly warm baths. I've had a steady diet of spicy food and taken several long walks but there has been no noticeable anything. This child apparently has it's own agenda and cannot be coaxed.

23 September
Not exactly what I envisioned for the morning...Eric and I doubled over the sink retching and calling the poison control center.

Both of us, in a freak accident that would eventually make us laugh, had ingested household bleach.

At some point yesterday Eric had realized that one of our water jugs needed a bit of cleaning and had poured bleach into the container. Later, the woman who comes in to clean our place, noticed the container, filled it with water and set it on the counter. Then, last night, I set the jug in the refrigerator to cool (or marinate as I would later learn).

Normally in the mornings, I sleep in a bit and Eric heads off to the gym. This morning we both slept in and so I got up and made us breakfast. As we sat at the table with our oatmeal, Eric pulled out the water jug and poured two large glasses.

The weird part is, we both took a big gulp of the stuff at the same time. It's not as if one of us could have been the guinea pig and then warned the other one. Nope, it was simultaneous poisoning.

Later, when I got my head out of the sink, I called my OB and on his advice then called poison control.. As he said, "I don't know what to tell you because no one in all my years of practice has ever called me with this question." He seemed more concerned that I not be 'cross' at Eric. I wasn't..hadn't even thought to be angry at Eric...but have now confirmed that my OB is rather protective of the male side of pregnancy.

It turns out that of all the household products we could have consumed, bleach is the least harmful. So, at least we have that going for us. Not that one should go around taste testing household products, mind you.

I still smell bleach, I still taste bleach, I'm still burping bleach, and apparently I will for a few more hours. Yuck!

Eric just called me from work and asked how I was.

Then he coyly stated, "So....what's for breakfast tomorrow?"

I'm sleeping in.

September 24, 2008!!!!!!
Today was supposed to be the day. It is 9:14 PM. I don't think the baby will be here before midnight. Now we know it is taking after me (usually late) more than Eric (always early).

Last night we decided to have a "last night out as a couple without children" and went for a movie. Now, sitting in a movie seat has been uncomfortable for me for quite some time. But there is a solution here and it comes in the form of something called "Gold Class Cinema." The theater has about 30 seats and they are all fully reclining lazy boys! There is a button in the middle consol that you press if you would like a beverage, popcorn, ice cream, mixed drink, or a roasted lamb dinner (seriously!). Let me just say it is heaven in a movie theater. I now don't want to see a movie in any other way. Check it out....

http://www.villagecinemas.com.au/Cinemas/Gold-Class.htm

***************

We went to the OB this afternoon and after being chastized for being a bit late (again, my fault), he smiled and asked, "So, how are my bleach drinkers?"

We took a look at the baby through his ultrasound and all appears fine and dandy, and cleaner (just kidding). He is encouraging me to wait. ugh. waiting. The pressure in my abdomen is unbelievable at this point. The difference in what I felt at week 37 and now at week 40 is HUGE!!!! When my belly moves now, I feel like it's going to take me with it. At week 37, my belly was heavy, now it feels like the kid is destined to be a 15 pounder. I've taken to calling it "Eric's massive offspring."

The only thing my OB did ask was that I don't deliver on Saturday since he has tickets to the Footy Grand Final. That would be the equivalent of letting one's superbowl tickets go unused. oops.

Now I have this feeling that the baby is destined to come on Saturday.

*************
Eric and I spent the rest of the day wandering about the city, taking fun photographs, and enjoying a long walk on the beach. It was sunny, slightly cool and beautiful. It's strange not knowing if perhaps tonight will be the night, or if we will have yet another week to wander about exploring Melbourne and enjoying 'couples last night without baby.'

I do believe we are both ready for "couples first night with baby!"

Come on kiddo...we want to meet you.

Your votes...

2008-09-22T09:56:00.004+10:00

The predictions are in and the following is the comprehensive list...

I personally find it interesting that no one choose to vote for the actual due date (the 24th)! The 26th was definately the most popular of times.

My lovely husband voted for the earliest date, but alas that time has come and gone and I am still GREAT with child.

Some of you chose to give the weight in Kilograms...I appreciate it because it sounds deceptively smaller. Pete B thought this was a game of Clue and added that the child would be born in the conservatory with a candlestick. My mom couldn't choose a gender and added "Either one would be just great, honey". Nicolas wouldn't choose a baby weight without knowing the specifics of my diet. I can confess that my diet consists of a healthy share of ice cream at the moment. Others chose to provide a name, or offer their own name as a tribute (Auntie Ann). And to Amy B...I know that the 30th is also your birthday, but wow, I hope it doesn't go that long!

By the way...it was a relatively even split between male/female: 13 predictions for a boy and 10 predictions for girl.

Eric: 19th/boy/7lb, 4oz.

Hal: 20th/Boy/8lb,4oz.

Anna: 20th/Girl/7 pounds 2 ounces

Pep: 22nd (at 8:42 am your local time)/boy (Leo)/3.58 kilos (7.9lb)

Beth: 23rd/Girl/7lb, 8oz.

Lori M: 23rd/Girl/8 lb,1 oz.

Brandon: 23rd/Boy/45 pounds 11 ounces (8.5 for real)

Val and Steve: 25th/Boy/7 pounds, 12 ounces

Adam F: 26th/Girl/8lb, 2oz.

Nicolas: 26th/Girl/Weight unknown

Geraldine: 26th/Girl/7lb, 7.5 oz.

Linda G: 26th/boy (Noah or Levi)/7 lbs 8oz

Jenni: 26th/Girl/7lb,9oz.

Ann M: 26th/7lb 10oz./Boy (if girl name is Ann Elizabeth Tjossem after her aunt)

Amy S: 27th/Boy (Jean-Luc)/7lbs, 6 oz.

Laura O’B: 28th/Boy/8 pounds 3 ounces

Kristina: 28th/7 lbs. 8 oz./male

Jenn D: 29th/Boy/7lb, 7oz.

Mom Lampert: 29th/Boy or Girl (can’t decide)/7lb, 12oz.

Pete B: 29th/Boy/7.5 lb (born in the Conservatory with a candle stick)

Mark H: 29th/Girl/3.8 kilograms (8.4lb)

Christine: 30th/Girl/8lb, 6oz.

Amy B: 30th/Girl/8 pounds 1 oz

Matt B: 30th/Boy/3.57 kilos (7.9 lbs)

Watching the Olympics from a Different Point of View

2008-09-18T14:00:00.005+10:00

I know that the Olympics are past us at this point, but I just want to make a few comments about watching the games from a different vantage point.

I must also note that I LOVE the Olympics. The national pride, the spirit of competition, the triumph of the individual, it all makes me weepy.

There was a great deal of buildup to the Beijing games and there were certain advantages about being two hours off the time zone vs. the 15-18 hour time difference the US experienced.

However, I don’t really know how we fared at the games. Frankly, I didn’t hear much about the US athletes other than the fact that Michael Phelps is amazing and our Olympic runners can’t hand off a baton.

Other than that, it was all about the Australians. But really, what could I expect?

Occasionally, Eric and I would spot an American flag in the background, or a person outfitted in a US uniform, but there would be no mention of this person. If an Aussie took bronze, the camera never lifted from that persons face.

They apparently don’t have the total coverage that we have in the US…gone are the background human interest stories that I so love. I think we were just supposed to “know” about these athletes. I now feel as if I do. The fever continues here. There was a parade downtown yesterday to welcome home the Victorian athletes and the medal winners are still present on every local TV program. The magazine covers are filled with photographs of the athletes and even the reality programs are getting in on the act with Stephanie Rice appearing on “Make me a Supermodel”.

We garnered as much information as we could from the internet regarding the standings of the US athletes, but we also understood the focus on the Olympians of our host country. The only mar on the events was the reaction to the senseless shooting of the Bachman's. Rather than it being about some lunatic harming two people, the initial take was that it was anti-American sentiment and the news reports encouraged athletes to wear their Australian colors when out in public.

Australians LOVE sport, the value it highly, and they are very very proud of their Olympic athletes.
It doesn’t really matter what sport an Olympian is competing in, it will be covered and watched. The TV coverage would leave the venerated gymnastics program to show the sport of “equestrian dressage” simply because an Aussie was competing. I didn’t even know that there were horses in the Olympics, or sailing, or fast walking...

The United States took home the most medals, but that is not how the rest of the world does the ranking. We never saw a statistic that put the US in the number 1 position. China took home the most gold medals and so they ranked themselves first…but Australia does a ranking by a different number. They rank medals per capita. So…if one does the math, Australia ranks higher than either the US or China in medals. (USA, by the way is #45)

This doesn’t make sense for a number of reasons, but when in a room with a bunch of Aussies, that point is hardly worth debating.

Go Athletes!

In case you are curious about who is number 1 in medals...... http://users.skynet.be/hermandw/olymp/reloly.html

Calling for Entries

2008-09-15T14:35:00.003+10:00

The countdown begins…
Maternity leave has officially begun and the due date is just 9 days away!

Now is the time to cast your predictions.
The winner will receive one year’s free subscription to our blog (ha) and notoriety in knowing that you are the winner.

Here is how to cast your vote…
Reply through the “comments” section of the blog, or send an email to Eric at etjossem@gmail.com or me at lampert@rocketmail.com listing due date, gender, and weight. All official entries will be posted. The bidding stops on the 21st (Sunday), or before if the baby decides it wants to be known earlier. So vote early!

As an FYI, the actual due date is September 24.

The winner will be evaluated in this order:
1. Due date
2. Gender of child
3. Weight

All entries are welcome, but just know that you may not be on my good side if you choose to post a date in mid October, or a baby over 10 lbs.

Happy guessing.

Beyond Dick and Jane

2008-09-09T21:20:00.003+10:00

Your baby name suggestions (through blog comments and individual emails) are IN. Some are very serious and well thought out, while others are causing me to question the lifetime of teasing they could bring. The list is compiled below:

For a Boy:
Thor
Agamemnon
Odysseus
Rocky
Bulwinkle
Declan
Daniel
Linus
Luke
Jean-Luc (in honor of Star Trek)
Duke
Hartley (Hart for short)
Tripp
Chance
Kristian
Riqueeliza
E
Ellis
Everett
Reed
Gaven
Oliver
Tucker
Hal
Kieran
Keelan
Oliver
Bennett
Noah
Isaac
Thomond
Cooper
Max
Theordore
Teo...
Thelonius
Tavian
Plato
Shamus
Kelly
Bob
Duncan
Banquo.........

or, for that special Aussie flavour:
Bruce ('Brucy')
Wayne ('Wayno')
Darren ('Dazza')
Barry ('Bazza')

For a Girl:
Maia
Calypso
Brunhilde
Unabrow
Christine
Justine
Elizarique
Alexander
Hannah
Maddison
Kristina

or, for that special Aussie flavour:
Noeline ('Noels')
Sharon ('Shazza')

We have been pouring through the baby-name books and have found a couple of names that we really like and actually agree on. One may be listed above and be from your suggestions…you never know. Yea!

The only thing that gives us pause is the description in one of our books, titled “Cool Names for Babies”. It seems that almost ALL of the names we like fall into the segment on page 41 labeled “Neo-Yuppie Cool Names”. After reading the description for this title and the subsequent list of names included in this category, we came to a stunning conclusion…we like many of the names in this section and you, dear friends, may actually have named your children with one of these choices. Read on to see if YOUR KID is listed in partial list of names we attached.

THE DESCRIPTION:
“Neo-Yuppie Cool Names”
There is a certain kind of name that is considered cool by that segment of the upwardly mobile yet politically correct population we might call neo-yuppies. Neo-yuppies – the newest version of the 80’s yuppies and 90’s bobos – like distinctive things but abhor ostentation - they have good taste but disdain convention; they appreciated the classics but prefer them with a modern twist. The names they like are to the left of the most popular list but far to the right of most choices in this book. You’ll see them on the rosters of upscale nursery schools and hear them in the playgrounds of affluent neighborhoods, and you may like them yourself. And why not? They’re good names, classic as well as cool, embodying style along with history. The only problem is that you may hear them far more than you want to in the years to come."

Alice
Anna
Brooke
Eleanor
Georgia
Kate
Laura
Lily
Lucy
Tessa
Aidan
Andrew
Charlie
Duncan
Finn
Harry
Jasper
Joe
Levi
Lucas
Max
Nicholas
Noah
Owen

Love you all, my “Neo-Yuppie” friends.

Tadpole Diaries #4

2008-08-26T20:59:00.003+10:00

July 21
Who knew that the men were allowed to attend the breastfeeding class? I went alone and was surprised to see the seats filled with couples. Oops. Eric would have loved an entire class about breasts - what man wouldn't? Ha. I feel like I deprived him of the coup d'etat in the parenting series.

The class was 2.5 hours long and the instructor bore a resemblance to Mrs. Doubtfire. She had several stuffed felt breasts that she used for demonstration purposes. The couple next to me got the giggles early on during the session and all I wanted to do was laugh along with them.
At one point, the teacher passed out the realistic looking babies that we were to use to try in various holds. They actually name these "holds," The football hold, the cradle hold...etc.
The fake baby that I was handed was Asian in appearance. An Asian couple sat in front of me and they were given a very pale, blue-eyed child.

We all tried to pretend that it was no big deal but kept glancing at each others "dolls" and wondered if we should just make a hasty exchange.

July 22
I went to get into the car this AM and couldn't. I generally have the car for work and when I park our SUV in our VERY small garage, I have to move it far over to the left in order to get in and out . Even being ALL the way over to the left, so that the mirror touches the garage wall, the right hand drivers door only opens about halfway.

Yesterday evening, Eric drove the car and Eric parked the car. My flat bellied hubby could get in and out of the car but I turned sideways and had to scrape my belly against the wall and behind against the car. My coat has streak marks from the scrape.
Ummm, sweetie, do you think you could park the car WAYYYYYY over next time????

Aug 13
Someone from my work resigned today. We are seriously short-staffed and now we have lost a person. She was hired a year ago and was struggling to understand the material. She had difficulties in a few surgeries and when we sent her back to training, it became too much and she submitted her resignation today.

I feel bad for everyone on my team and the increased work load. Whether they like it or not, in five weeks time (or less), I'm taking leave. I'm taking my well deserved, love my baby, enjoy my time, stay up all night, be sleep deprived, worry about things, live in baby world time OFF!!!! Yippee.

When I think about all the times I've had to cut a vacation short or not take it at all due to work constraints, I feel like it's a normal part of my job. I've flown back from tiny airports at wee hours of the night just to cover cases. I've driven through blizzards and been snowbound in cities (Grand Forks) for two days. I've checked patients at 3 am just so I could get to the next place in time for a morning session. I was locked between two sliding doors for a good part of a Thanksgiving morning (that doesn't really fit in here, but it is a funny story). I had to trade call weekends and pick up extra days just so that we could get in our honeymoon last summer. I always panicked about things being covered and things going smoothly in my absence. I kept my cell phone on. I kept my blackberry on. I answered calls from my boss and called hospitals while hiking, camping, and skiing.

This time is different. I cannot postpone due to the inconvenience of anyone else. I will turn off my phone when I am sleeping. I will still return calls, but I can't be at the beck and call of work during this time.

That brings me joy and relief that I haven't felt since I started this crazy profession 6 1/2 years ago.

August 14
Many years ago, when Tofte was still a puppy, I had an interaction that I never forgot. It was a hot summer day, I was driving my little VW bug convertible and Tofte the puppy was sitting in the passenger seat. I was stopped at the intersection of Grand and Lexington when a woman in a minivan next to me rolled down her window and yelled, "You have my former life!" She went on to say that they used to have a convertible but sold it when she had her kids. She and her husband also had a golden retriever but they had just put it down. She paused for a bit and then laughed and said, "Look how the years change things." She was a perfectly joyful woman seated in a beat up minivan with the sounds of yelling children coming from the back seat.

At that moment, I loved my life.

Eric and I have friends here that have in many ways lived a parallel existence to us for the last year. They are an American couple that married just a few weeks before we did, and they moved to Melbourne a week before us. They came here with a transfer for her job and he had a bit of trouble finding work.
There are many similarities among the four of us, but one primary difference, they are ten years our juniors and like the woman in the minivan, THEY have our former lives!
They are busy all the time and travel almost every weekend. They go downhill skiing, take trips all over Australia, and fore-go sleep so that they can take in an extra day somewhere and get back on a red eye flight just in time for work on Monday.

I'm ready for baby and this is a whole new adventure, but I must admit that watching them and witnessing their freedom makes me a bit jealous. I don't know all the joys that this next adventure will bring, so I can only look back longingly and know what I'm leaving behind.
Bye for now last-minute-travel and dodgy accommodations, hello new life.

August 16
Our landlord put a new dresser in our apartment when we were away in the US. We were very happy about it as we now had a place to put all the new baby clothing. All the outfits were carefully washed and dried at my mom's before returning to AU and when we got here, they were divided by size and stored safely away in the dresser.

Something happened.

The dresser drawers are made with some sort of compressed resin/sawdust/formaldehyde material that began off-gassing. All of our cleaned and new baby clothes smelled toxic. I mean really really toxic. Like Rat-poison toxic.

Since we don't have a dryer and our itsy bitsy washing machine takes about 2 hours for a load, we made a trip to the laundromat.

For some reason the laundromat trip was a weekend highlight. I can't explain why. Was it the volume of baby clothing that we hauled with us? Was it watching all of these tiny little things going round and round in industrial size dryers? Was it the glances of those around us as Eric and I giggled while folding these tiny clothes? Was it the fact that even baby socks go missing in a dryer?

Anyway, all our little tots clothing is now safely cleaned and resting comfortably in the crib. The toxic dresser has been moved to the living room where it contains office supplies and various papers.

August 20
Most women in Australia finish up work between 32 and 34 weeks of pregnancy. I'm 35 weeks along and you should hear the comments. I think I'm the biggest and most unusual thing anyone has ever seen in the workplace. I'm all belly. Most people describe if they are carrying High or Low. Eric says I'm carrying the child "external".

We've been watching the Olympics (LOVE THEM!!!) and the commentators make references to the body types of the athletes. "Well, now, isn't she a chubby gymnast" and "He doesn't look like your typical diver...quite old looking." It cracks us up. Maybe it's an Australian thing. They feel rather free to comment on body shapes.

So, with that in mind, I would like to share my list of things that a person should and should not say to a pregnant woman.

Let's start with the Should's...
1. "Good luck" or "Best Wishes"
2. "You look so tiny"
3. "My friend so and so was so much bigger at that stage..."
4. "Congratulations"
5. "How are you feeling?"
6. "Are you sleeping alright?"
7. "You look radiant."
8. "What a cute outfit."
9. "When are you due?"
10. "Do you know the gender?" and a considerate "Are you telling?"
11. "Where are you having the baby?"
12. "What are you most excited about?"

And the things that it would be best to REFRAIN from saying...
1. "My goodness, you're huge."
2. "You look pale."
3. Any horror stories about baby delivery.
4. The word "Tear"
5. "Is it twins?" and then further insistence that perhaps it is twins and "maybe the doctor just hasn't told you."
6. Asking gender is fine, following it up with, "but what are you hoping for?" is not.
7. "When are you due, yesterday?"
8. Any comment that includes the word "waddling."
9. Remarks about how much smaller someone else was at that stage.

And the all too personal series...
10. "Will you be delivering vaginally?"
11. "Will you be breastfeeding?"

and the doomsday favorite...
12. "Life as you know it is about to be over, are you sure you want this?"

August 23
Names.
What a quandary.
What a major decision.
alright, I open up the floor for suggestions.

We already have a girl name all picked out. In fact, we had about 5 girl names that we really loved, but one came naturally and we are about 98% certain of it.

However, since we don't know the gender...we need a boy name.

That is SO much more difficult.
I don't know why, but it seems that there is much less creativity in the boys names and I go back and forth between something traditional and something more "out there."

However, the risk with a boys name seems just that much greater.

We have about 6 baby name books. Most have titles like, "600,000 names for babies or the much more creative "401,000 baby names." We also bought a survey book that lists people's opinions of certain names and another book titled, "Cool names for babies."

If we went with something purely Australian, we'd end up with one of the rather odd names like "Hamish or Lochlan". Don't fret, those two aren't in the running.
Alistair is out as well.

There is, however, an Aussie Olympian swimmer with a certain interesting name that we are considering.

Eric has a couple of favorites and so do I. Unfortunately we are having a hard time meeting in the middle on them.

So...post your (serious) suggestions and all will be considered.

August 24
This is the day that we left Minnesota last year. One year ago today. At times I think "Is that all? and at other times I realize how much can change in just one year.

For Eric, he's just wondering who the chick in our wedding photos is...

We can never move to the UK

2008-08-03T10:31:00.002+10:00

When mild mannered Eric manages to anger people into leaving a dinner party early, we know we are in trouble.

Last night we attended a party with a mix of Brits and Australians. It was an awkward beginning for the eight of us in attendance. There were introductions of names only and we all found ourselves standing around a kitchen counter hovering over an appetizer platter. There were moments of silence interrupted by the occasional inquiry. "So, where do you work." Nothing really seemed to engage anyone and conversations fell flat.

However, one person had arrived with a very professional looking set of poker chips and we knew that the silence between people couldn't last forever.

When dinner was finished and the table was cleared, the game carrying guest began to take out the poker chips.

In retrospect, that's when the we should have left.

The chips were distributed by color! "OK, you be the blue chips, you are the red chips, you two are the white chips." AGRRGGGHHHH. Values people, chips have values. One must respect these chips!

Over the course of the evening, any number of serious grievances that would have gotten us shot in Vegas began to occur. Hands were mis-dealt and then simply amended rather than re-dealt, people folded and then reentered the game whenever they felt like it, there were too many out of turn raises to be counted, one person declared a flush with a set of four, someone else declared a straight with a card missing from the middle. I began to feel like a rule keeper.

Halfway through the game, most of the chips sat at the end of the table between Eric and myself. When I returned from getting a water and a taking trip to the bathroom, I found that the chips had been "redistributed" as people were "running out."

I quickly and purposefully lost my remaining chips so that I could just become permanent dealer. Eric's pile of chips came and went as the person next to him gave him handouts. Finally, he missed out on a massive winning in the middle of the table because no one understood the concept of splitting the pot. Apparently in this off-label game, there was only one winner each time. HUH? Suddenly it was not a five card game, but a seven card game in those instances.

OK, we aren't poker gurus, but we know enough not to be completely dim about the game. This abomination of Texas Hold-em was too much for us, especially Eric.

With us both eliminated from the game, we watched as another person was about to become robbed of a huge win in a same 'split-pot' scenario. Eric, the defender of the innocent quiet ones, got a bit aggressive and HAD to point out the error of their ways and demand that they give some chips to a relatively quiet woman at the end of the table. Eric was outraged that they couldn't see that she had ALSO won. Mild mannered Eric was standing, rather loud and trying to manage the reorganization of the chips.

That was it. The British sensitivities couldn't handle any more. Suddenly the two Brits at the end of the table declared, "This is no longer fun and we are leaving." They were gone within about 3 minutes.

We left about 5 minutes after them and when I got to the car, I couldn't stop laughing.
The only thing I could say to Eric was, "Well, we can NEVER move to the UK."

What a Difference a Year Makes

2008-07-20T22:47:00.003+10:00

One year ago we started something new. Now look, everything is different. We are happy and look forward to the next adventure that will be coming in a few months.
We decided to take a trip for our anniversary, besides it won’t be too long before Beth is not allowed to fly. There were already some apprehensive looks on the part of the cabin crew as we boarded our flight. Somehow they must have known in advance that we will be parents soon because they put us in the “family” section, babies and toddlers all around, and for good measure bratty teenagers behind us. We picked up on some parenting techniques, good and bad. We can only hope that our new one will travel well.

Tasmania was beautiful. We had found accommodation through the Lonely Planet guide, and they did not steer us wrong. Cute little theme cottages that are within walking distance of the center of Launceston. Ours was the “Welsh” cottage complete with a large tub and chamber pot. The tub is for use, the pot for decor. Beth pretended to sit in the parlor waiting for gentleman callers whilst I sipped tea in the kitchen.

Some friends had told us about Freycinet National Park and the excellent hiking there. I was a bit dubious about the hiking, but Beth reassured me that she is “pregnant, not an invalid”, and she is always up for that sort of thing. I love that about her. After the park ranger eyed the bump under Beth ’s jacket she told us that it is a three hour strenuous hike….it didn’t matter as we wanted to see the famous wineglass bay. The beach at wineglass bay was ranked by Outside magazine as one of the top ten most beautiful beaches in the world. Apparently since that ranking, many a tourist and family have shown up at the park headquarters and asked for directions to drive to the beach. The only problem is that the beach is only attainable through a strenuous 1.5 hour one way trip. There is no road. Showing up in beach gear with flip flops isn’t going to get a person very far. Maybe the difficult hike is what keeps the beach so beautiful.

The beach definitely was worth the trip. However, we both admit that we missed a GREAT photo opportunity. Last year at our wedding, Beth posed on the rocks at Lutsen with the blue waters of Lake Superior stretched out behind her. Now, I’ll include that photo, but I’ll also include a photo of the rocks at Wineglass bay. Why, oh why, didn’t we put Beth and her rounded belly up on the rocks and reenact the same photo. Exact title of this missing shot would be “One year later”.

In addition to the hike at Freycinet, we toured the natural beauty of Launceston and enjoyed a great lunch in a restaurant that was fashioned out of an old barn. Tasmania is green and lush and beautiful. It’s a bit like Portland , Oregon meets Alaskan fishing village. It’s only a short flight from Melbourne , but its island setting makes the climate completely different. It’s cooler, but more temperate year round and rainy. Launceston is the second largest city, but it felt more like a bustling little town. No traffic, no large buildings, a complete 180 from our mini New York setting where we now reside.

We are home now, and tucked in to our new city awaiting the arrival of our wee one. No airline will take Beth as a passenger from this point on and any travel we do will be by car. We are living vicariously through the travel stories of our other expat friends who seem to be flying everywhere.

For us….we have reached the milestone of one year of marriage and so much has happened so fast in our lives. Let the nesting begin.

Tadpole Diaries #3

2008-07-04T09:00:00.000+10:00

June 12 :
Eric and I returned to Melbourne on another epic 22 hour flight. It’s nice to have each other on the flight and the selection of movies comes in very very handy. I can highly recommend the movie “Lars and the Real Girl”. Seriously. It’s a horrid premise, but the movie is about acceptance and dealing with difference and we both enjoyed it a great deal. It definitely was better than my other selection, “The Other Boleyn.” Two thumbs down for that one

I remained as awake as possible on the flight so that I would remember to walk around, drink lots of water, and exercise the legs whenever possible. (Pregnant women are prone to blood clots)
I wasn’t uncomfortable…it was just strange to be up when everyone around me was sleeping.

We arrived bright and early on a Monday morning but two of our bags didn’t. You just know it instantly when the carousel goes around and around and you spot some of your bags grouped closely together, but the others don’t appear in the next two rotations. It turns out one bag was sent to Brisbane and the other remained in LA.

We had to wait at the counter and describe the bags. One was, of course, the bag that contained almost ALL our new stuff for baby and us as well as some electronic goods that we probably should have carried on but didn’t have the room. Murphy’s’ law dictates that would be the bag that goes missing.

The other bag was our new baby car seat. The folks working at the baggage office looked distraught when we told them about the car seat. They explained how stringent the laws were in Australia and told us they would need to organize to get us a carrier for our use to get home. Eric just smiled at them and declared, “Oh, No worries, the baby is still in the carry-on stage” and he patted my belly. The baggage people then looked down at the rest of me and began to laugh. Then they assured us the car seat would arrive sometime in the next three months.

In case you are wondering, the bag of everything else arrived late that night and we were relieved to see it. The car seat arrived a few days later. Apparently it got a bit lost in LA. Hmmm…I’m picturing the car seat on a Hollywood tour….

Well, our lives have returned to the slower cadence of life in Australia and we certainly talk a great deal about the fun we had in Minnesota. It was two weeks of fast paced, filled days and fun with family and friends. Sigh. It’s always that fun there, isn’t it?

As Eric explained in his last entry, our return to AU wasn’t exactly glorious with him losing his job and me taking a rather impressive fall on our very first day back. I’m still nursing a bruised knee and elbow and Eric is madly searching for employment. Despite all of this, we remain incredibly happy. These pregnancy hormones are working wonders for my mood and Eric never really feels sorry for himself over anything. It’s a lovely quality that I admire in him.

June 18:
Today we went to visit our very first daycare center. We were met at the door by a very peppy teacher as well as the director of the center. They spilled over about the good attributes of the place and took us on a tour of the rooms. The rooms all have one way mirrors and we could watch without being seen. It was like a zoo tour with children at the center. The director emphasized the “natural” environment, lack of plastic in the place, fantastic outdoor facilities, and the vegetarian meal plan. They both talked about how they redirect rather than discipline children. They went on and on and we ate it all up. The place was like the organic food market of day care centers and we loved it instantly. Bring on the natural children we say!

All we need is someone to hold our little baby and to love it, and feed it, and pick it up when it cries. Who really cares about a natural environment? We are such Suckers!
Alas, we put our names on the waiting list anyway. The waiting list is apparently about a year’s wait. How can this be?

June 21:
I’m beginning to hate the “waiting list” for daycares. Three tours in and we still don’t have a place. We are starting to move farther and farther from our apartment.

One that we went to yesterday had a large sign on the door that read "There have been SEVERAL cases of head lice lately...please check your children". The word SEVERAL was all capitals and underlined many times.

When we left there my head itched all over. I couldn't help it.

Eric says "There will be no lice in our house...all children who get lice will have their head shaved and that's final."

However, at this point, we are even hoping the house of lice calls us with an opening for daycare.

June 28
Our first parenting class! Hooray. We were so excited about this class all week and we looked forward to the possibility of meeting other soon-to-be-parents. However, when it came down to the organization of the day, we completely blew it! We had planned our day out well…wake up, go to the gym, eat lunch, go to parenting class and then go straight to our friend Lou’s birthday party. It was to be a brilliant day.
However, I slept in due to bouncing baby keeping me up all night, Eric got into a very long skype chat with a friend, and we decided to blow off the gym. Neither of us ever looked at the time and we read the paper online, put away laundry and took leisurely showers. Suddenly, Eric yelled, “We have 20 minutes to get there!” It became a mad dash to get out of the house and to the hospital. The instructions strictly stated, “DON”T BE LATE as our doors close 30 minutes after the start of the session.” We arrived at 15 minutes late for class and the doors to the building were locked! We had to ring the room and have the instructor come down to get us. She was less than pleased with these tardy American expats.

We had to parade through the room and take our seats in the front. Eric’s chair had a real looking baby on it and he, along with all the other men in the room, had to hold the baby on his lap for the first hour of class. Everyone else’s baby was sort of cute and cuddly and ours had an odd grimace on its face and unnaturally blue eyes.

We watched video after video and heard graphic details about delivery and breastfeeding. I’m glad the days when men wait in the lobby and the baby comes to them all spic and clean is a thing of the past. But today they tell you so much information you feel like it could be a college major. Also, the amount of "what if's" are terribly frightening.
There must be a happy medium somewhere.

One of the other pregnant women next to us let out a big sigh during a “how to settle your baby” video. It garnered a few laughs from the room, but scorn from the teacher.
I suddenly didn’t feel so bad about being late – the teacher was rather stern about everything.

Eric and I both thought the class was to be 1.5 hours long, but apparently is was 3.5 hours long. We were now going to be late for the afternoon party. At the break during class, Eric went to call our friends but realized he had forgotten his phone. I didn’t have their number and they are not listed. So, to just keep this comedy of errors going for the whole day, we whisked out of class as soon as it was over, didn’t have time to stop at home and change out of our jeans, and we showed up two hours late for an intimate and rather dressy dinner party.

Can I just wake up and do this day all over again?

June 29
Got on the scale at the gym today. Thank goodness they measure me in kilos because I don’t really want to see this number in pounds. In case inquiring minds want to know…its 11 kilo’s. (or 1.7 stone) ugh.
I sat on Eric’s lap the other day and he let out a grunt. I guess the idea of throwing myself into his arms wouldn’t be such a good idea right now.

June 30
I’m reading the literature from the parenting class. Some essentials for our new bub include:

LOTS of bunny rugs,
Dummies,
Chubba chums for delivery
Nappies,
A cot
A good pram
Barley sugars (also for delivery)

Time to pull out the Australian/English dictionary.

July 2
One of my coworkers who is on maternity leave rung me tonight to see how I was doing. Just as she called, her dog started barking wildly in the background. “No worries,” she declared, “he’ll settle down, he just spotted a magpie.” The dog never settled down. Then, her 3 year old son began making loud car noises in the background. “Finn’s just being silly and he loves to be near me when I’m on the phone…I’ll just speak up.” Suddenly she was yelling to be heard over loud car sounds and frantically barking dog. At last, her 3 month old began to scream and she just kept talking. I couldn’t hear her anymore and found myself yelling into the phone as well. “Oh, hang on a minute, let me get my baby settled on the breast and we can keep talking.” About 15 seconds passed and she just picked up where she left off. Finally, over loud baby cooing, car sounds of a three year old and a now madly crazed barking dog, I stated, “Do you need to go and tend to things? We can continue this conversation later.” “Oh, no,” she said, “things are great right now and they get wild later, this is a really good time to have a chat.”

Really? That was a good time? REALLY????????

July 3
Last night I went to dinner with several coworkers. I have been comfortable up to this point, but last night I had something (a foot, a hand?) crammed up under my lower right rib. I couldn’t lean over to eat properly and I longed to tilt back my chair. Instead I sat bolt upright and tried to work the foot or hand or knee or whatever it was out of my rib. Today the foot was gone, but tonight it is back again. I still have 12 more weeks. Will this body part remain under my rib for the rest of these weeks? Ouch.

July 3 (later)
Citizenship. One would think that having a child in Australia would entitle said child to an Aussie passport. We assume this because we are American’s, and in the US, we give out citizenship at birth. Did you know that this is not the case in the majority of the world? In fact, according to my internet search, there are 5 countries that give out citizenship by birth alone. They are….(drum roll)….Canada, the US, Panama, Ireland, and France. Get us to France! Our child could then work in the EU! (Maybe this is what Brad and Angelina are thinking). Some countries only honor the nationality of the mother, some only the nationality of the father. It’s all very interesting.

I was hoping to give the gift of dual citizenship, but alas, it shall not be granted. At dinner last night, my coworkers were coming up with all sorts of schemes for citizenship. Some even offered to put their partners/husbands on the birth certificate in the spot where Eric’s name should be….

Don’t worry, Eric thought it was funny too. You can have a laugh about it.

Right now, I’m actually a hostage in Australia. I can not leave the country until late November at the earliest. I have health insurance only for AU and no company will give me travel insurance after 26 weeks of pregnancy. Then, I can’t leave with the baby until I have a valid US passport for the child. (Can’t you just see THAT little passport photo!) I’m an Australian hostage. Trapped on a large island.
That’s ok. I don’t know where I’d go anyway and I’m content to stay. This foot/rib thing wouldn’t bode well in an airplane seat anyway.

July 4
Happy Fourth of July everyone!
Or as the Australians say,”Happy day of your nations independence.” This, from a country where we celebrate the Queen’s birthday…how far away is mother England anyway?

Home and back again

2008-06-24T11:11:00.000+10:00

I looked back at the blog and noticed that we have not been there for awhile. I suppose that it is time that we do that again.

First thing is our trip back home. We had such a great time. We felt like minor celebrities. Everyone seemed happy to see us and there were parties galore. We sneaked in a cabin trip, played poker, spent time with family in Red Wing, had a couple of baby showers, and attended a party for Beth’s nephew Sam who joined the Army. The problem with this is we feel like that is what is happening all the time and that we are missing out. To contrast, we come back to Melbourne and the phone never rings. I guess we will have to survive on the memory of the fun filled two weeks that we had home. Thank you again everybody.

We are back into winter now. It is not the cold that is a problem here, (I am sure that Beth might argue that) but it is the lack of daylight. The sun doesn’t really come up until about 8AM and the shadows in the afternoon start to get long about 3pm. It makes for really short days and lots of TV time in the evenings. Now that the winter solstice (remember we are in the southern hemisphere) has come and gone we can look forward to the days getting longer.

It was a rough first week back. On Tuesday I found out that the company that I was working for lost a big contract. So we had a big meeting about that. On Wed Beth took a fall while in the operating room. Normally it wouldn't be so bad she is pretty tough and can take it but:
1. She is pregnant.
2. She is wearing double lead suits to protect the child from radiation (I am still not comfortable with this, it may come out glowing).

She banged up her knee and elbow, broke the computer, and snapped a pen in half. To top it all off she was like the "help I've fallen and I can't get up" lady. There was too much weight for her to get up by herself, so people had to peal the lead off of her in front of the patient. The person having heart surgery even asked if she was OK. I think that it was probably more embarrassing than anything else. It was traumatic for her but she is still in amazingly good spirits. Go pregnancy hormones.

After she relayed this tale to me, it was my turn to tell her my news....I got laid off.

It wasn’t unexpected. I was the last one to start and I was working on a casual contract basis. Now it is back to the job search, and the whole banging your head trying to think, "what should I do"?

Any thoughts?

It has now also fallen to me to get day care sorted out. Day care here is governed by city councils. Even though we live in Toorak which is an inner city suburb of Melbourne, the city council is Stonnington. Huh? I have received the child services literature and have started calling and visiting different day care centers. We are looking for part time care for a four month old then full time a month after that. The problem is there is a two year waiting list for some of these places. I am trying to reason through that math. Did I need to get on a list last year for my four month old next year? If I take my spaceship and slingshot around the sun with enough speed can I still get on the list?

In filling out the paper work at one of the centers there are certain ways to get bumped up the waiting list:

Already having a child at the centre.
being of aboriginal descent

There were many others. Somewhere around 15 was “socially isolated”.

We are not sure what this means or what it does for us but Beth checked it anyway. We figured without friends and family around we fit into this category.

We have both been reading baby books and are starting to get prepared for the new arrival in a few months. It can all be very confusing. We have the pram… do we really need a cot?.... and what is a baby capsule? The good part is I think that I have figured out what “nesting” is, it is Beth making chocolate chip oatmeal cookies.

Crying Fools

2008-05-20T20:10:00.000+10:00

Her Turn:

Mothers Day almost came and went without a word from Eric. I’m not a mom (or mum over here) yet and we agreed not to do anything for either mum’s or dad’s day. Still, it felt a little weird that we managed to go out to breakfast, see lots of babies, and walk through the flower market and have Eric not utter a word about what’s going on in our lives. He was noticeably silent regarding the implications of the day and I actually started to feel a bit bad about it.
I really tried to let it go. After all, I was the one who said I didn’t need any attention that day and I couldn’t give him a hard time for my own oversight regarding my feelings. My mom called late in the afternoon to wish me a happy day. She asked what Eric had done for me and I had to sneak out of the room with the phone and explain that he hadn’t said a word all day. She tried to be bright and sunny about it, but I think even she believed it to be a bit atypical of Eric.
Finally, when the day was over and I decided to hit the hay around 11 pm, I peeled down the covers to find a good American magazine (Oprah) and a card. The Mum’s day card was written as if it was the kid talking and it said how happy it was to meet me. OK, so sappy…but I burst into an unexpected flood of tears. I didn’t even know I was that emotional. I thought I was a bit blue, but nothing of the magnitude required to cause this strong outpouring of feelings.
Apparently the card and mag had been there all day long. Eric kept thinking I would take a nap at some point and discover it.
I think I cried for a solid 20 minutes. I was laughing and crying and sobbing all while Eric threw Kleenex at me and laughed with me.

His Turn:

Last Sunday we met some friends for breakfast and they presented us with a wrapped up gift. We opened it up to find a little white onesie for the baby. It was our first-ever-baby-item. I was looking at it and pulled it out to have a good gaze at how small it was when I was started to hear Eric choke up. We had all been focused on looking at the onesie and when we directed our attention to Eric, he just waved us away and said, “I’m a little overwhelmed…it’s all so real…stop looking at me.” He had wet eyes and couldn’t face us. Luckily, he was trapped on the inside of the booth and so he couldn’t ignore us. He just kept choking up and admitting to being “touched, overwhelmed, and happy.”
Gotcha sweetie! Want a tissue?

Tadpole Diaries #2

2008-05-10T14:31:00.000+10:00

April 2
Whatever happened in the last week to my belly? It popped. I thought that I wouldn't be really "showing" until week 20. I'm at 15 and after the experience of post Bali gastro, I thought my stomach would be flat for several more weeks. But, no...overnight it grew. I woke up in the morning and my skin felt stretched out and taught across my abdomen. I took one look in the mirror and couldn't believe the overnight change.
I walked out to the kitchen and said, "Hey, Eric, look," and I revealed my abdomen. The widening of his eyes let me know that this clearly wasn't my imagination.

April 5
We had dinner plans tonight with some of our expat friends and I encountered a wardrobe crisis. We were going out to eat and I didn't want to be as uncomfortable as the night before when I wore my regular jeans to a comedy show. So...I pulled out my one and only pair of MATERNITY Pants! ARRHHHGGGG. You know, the very hip kind with the big soft stretchy band across the front. I then pulled on a long shirt and piled on a jeans jacket to hide the band as best I could. After eating a big bowl of Tom Yum soup, I couldn't have been happier to be in those pants. Those things are a godsend. I should have bought a pair of them years ago.

April 6
Today we ran some errands and ended up at the big American-looking mall searching for some maternity clothing for me to get through the work week. The two big department stores do NOT have maternity departments. Weird, eh? When I asked where the maternity section was, they looked at me as if I was diseased. "Oh, we don't have THOSE clothes" one of the young, well dressed, snobby girls stated.
We ended up in some upscale shop in our neighborhood and I got a pair of pants and a shirt. That should be good.

7 April
We visited a store called "kid central" on our shopping excursion and Eric found his way to the "pram" section of the store. When I came upon him, he was chatting with the sales clerk about a particular type of stroller. Eric had the thing on the ground and practically disassembled at that point. The saleslady was trying to discuss color choices, but Eric was checking out the "Manly" wheels and the independent front suspension. He was taking that thing around the store and trying a couple of quick turns and wheelies to check it's response. By the time I returned from trying on a pair of maternity jeans (SO UGLY!), Eric had selected to skip the parasol addition but definitely go with the attachable cup holder accessory.
Throughout the rest of the afternoon, Eric pointed out just about every stroller in the mall or on the street and made comments about it's "wimpy wheels, lack of apparent maneuverability, and absence of manly characteristics." Finally he spotted his desired stroller and I had to drive around the block twice so that Eric could get a better look of the thing in action. A guy was pushing it, so that probably gave it further credit.

I think we have a stroller picked out. I think I had nothing to do with it.

8 April
Had my 16 week OB appointment today. Awkwardly, Eric and I ended up on the same slow elevator with my OB on the way to his office. The elevator is one of those junior size ones - like the kind in Europe, or a really old building in New York City. Anyway, by the time we made it up to his office and plunked down in the waiting room, I had to confess to Eric that I was nervous about this man delivering my baby. My OB is very shy. Painfully shy - almost mousy. He slouches when he talks to me and can't look me in the eyes. After riding silently in an elevator with him for about 10 minutes I wondered what the hell he'd say to me when I was screaming in pain.
Eric's only comeback was, "I'm sure he's a lot better in his professional role."
Lord, let's hope so.

After the appointment, Eric and I walked to the coffee shop across the street where we shared a sugary muffin and enjoyed a coffee and chai while watching pregnant women pop in and out of the OB building and women's hospital across the street. Every belly was a different shape and size. The only thing that was evident is that pregnant women look really weird! It's a look that gave us both the giggles after a while and I decided that I should probably just embrace my own odd shape during this time as I'm sure to get laughed in the very near future by complete strangers watching me from coffee shops.

April 12
There was an open house for an apartment that we were going to look at today to possibly rent, but we forgot about it and missed it. It is easy to do as the rental open houses are only 15 minutes long. That's standard here.

If you want to buy a house, the open house lasts just 30 minutes. People don't have Realtors to purchase a home, only to sell a home. So, if you miss the open house, good luck ever getting in to see it.

Today Eric and I went to an open house and auction with our friend Natasha who is trying to buy an apartment. Her hubby was playing golf with friends and she thought handling the auction and her 2 year old daughter at the same time would be too much. So, we stepped in to help. What an experience to go to a home auction....an auctioneer stands on the street with a microphone and takes bids for the home. Housing is crazy here and the prices are through the roof. Most standard 3 bedroom, 2 bath homes in the city are no less than a cool million. This was an apartment...a small 700 foot, 2 bedroom, 1 bathroom, no laundry, small kitchen on a busy street and it went for the asking price of 430K. Wow! " Do I hear 440? Going once, going twice..,." The majority of homes and apartments are sold by auction just like this.

After the bidding ended and Natasha had bowed out at the 390K mark, we went out for coffee. In our lives, coffee is a quick experience where one breezes in, orders, reads the paper while sipping coffee, and then leaves. In this world with a two year old, it's about taking the sugar packets in and out of their containers over and over without getting tired of that boring activity, pulling out various things from the diaper bag and flinging them to the ground while watching mom and company pick them up. Then the activity turns to wanting desperately to hold on to everyone Else's spoon and flinging spoon about madly while accidentally stabbing oneself in the eye with said utensil. With subsequent tears, crying and cooing to follow spoon incident, our two year old companion feels that wandering around the patio area and staring at other diners sounds like a good plan. Gentle coaxing child to return to table results in her grabbing the umbrella stand near us and shaking vigorously. Whatever leaves and such were on said umbrella are now raining down on various diners in immediate vicinity. Our table remains happily sheltered under the umbrella. Looks are thrown at us.
While walking out, the two year old hits her head on a table. More tears and holding. A Count Dracula stuffed figurine on counter provides adequate distraction from crying but child does not want to give stuffed Dracula back to coffee shop.
The 2 block walk to the car takes 20 minutes as we stop to look at every leaf and piece of paper on ground. Preventative measures are taken on two occasions as child attempts to run into street. Getting child into car seat is another 5 minute interval.
Total time elapsed for coffee: 1 hour, 15 minutes.

I'm beginning to think we should have just gotten a dog.

April 17
Tax day came and went in the US and we didn' t have to do anything except fill out an extension. Taxes will be a pain come July when we can process our Australian ones, but I'm happy to put it off until then.

Sitting on the couch last night, watching yet another episode of West Wing, the baby decided to make itself known. Eric likes to sit next to me on the couch and put his hand on my belly. He will sit like that for hours if I'd let him. But, as it would happen, the babies first kick happened when Eric's hand was on my belly. So, WE felt the first kick. Awwwwww.

I called Eric at work this morning and he was proud to tell me that everyone in his office now knows about the kick. Is this really the news that we've resorted to telling people? Apparently so.

April 19
Dreamed last night that I had the baby. It wasn't September, it was right now. Yes, I had a baby at 18 weeks and it was fine. It weighed 1.81 kilos, which is 3.99 pounds. But in my dream, I did the math conversion and came up with 3lbs, 43 oz. I know that doesn't make sense. Did I mention that I was sleeping when I did this conversion?
We named the baby Dell. Yes, Dell.
Perhaps I am spending too much time on the computer.

April 20
I have cried 5 times today - once when I heard some sad news from a friend, once when I got really frustrated with something at work (I hid in my car), once when reading a sad story in the on line startribune, once during the evening news, and once during an episode of the west wing. I could cry right now just thinking about it all. Hormone torment.

April 21
18 weeks along...
Spent part of yesterday on a wonderful bike ride through the city. There are gorgeous trails near our house and we have done an inadequate job of exploring them...until yesterday. It was a warm fall day, a perfect 65 degrees, and we rode through falling leaves along the shore of the Yarra river. This is one of those times when you kick yourself for not doing something sooner. Why did we wait so long to find that trail? I remember last summer in MN when I rode with Christine almost every weekend and it was like I was seeing Minneapolis for the first time. I had no idea we had all those beautiful trails in MN, and then I move away within one short summer of finding them. Now I discover this beautiful bike path near my home and I probably shouldn't even be on a bike.
Eric kicked my butt on the bike ride by the way. I was a huffing and puffing ball of goo who looked somewhat ridiculous in her bike shorts. I tend to be somewhat competitive and it did hurt my ego a bit when I had to say, "I'm tired, and I think I need to turn around and go home now." Whaaaaa.

April 22
Mother's Day is around the bend and if my card is going to make it to the US on time, I had better get it in the mail.
This gets me thinking about that particular day....
Mother's Day has been a strange holiday for me for the past several years. It's been a little bittersweet actually and I'm not sure I can explain it well, but I'm sure there are others out there who feel the way that I do. Surely I can't be alone here.
Mother's Day is a celebration of my own wonderful relationship with my mother - yet it is also a time when restaurants are filled with children and parents and grandparents. For the past several years, I felt like it was a holiday where I was somehow displaced...somehow "missing out". It wasn't self-pity so much as self-loathing. Where was my life going? Would I ever have children? Would I ever be a mom? I would look around at these happy but tired looking moms and their smiling (or crying) kids and get a tinge of jealousy. Certainly I would never have felt this feeling if I'd had kids in my 20's.
I get this feeling twice a year - Mother's Day and the day that I read about an event my high school throws for the alumni moms and their kids.... "Breakfast with Santa."

For many years, I have longed to be a full participant in these two days.

April 24
It's 9:30 at night and I am madly craving spice cake. Spice cake with cream cheese frosting. I want it so badly that I can taste it. How I miss the US and the 24 hour grocery stores!

April 28
In the middle of my work day, in the middle of a pacemaker surgery, at a time when it was impossible to leave for any reason, I desperately wanted saltines with cream cheese and kalamata olives.

April 29
The baby kicks a lot and it tickles and I love it. Generally it kicks whenever I strap on the lead suit that I have to wear in the cath lab. I pull it tight across my abdomen, double the layer with a second heavy lead over the belly and then pull on the lead vest. It's heavy and it hurts my back, but based on the scare that I had earlier, I figure I don't have any "points" left and I must wear all this gear to protect the kid. However, I think it squashes the kids living room and it kicks at the lead shield during the procedure. It provides entertainment when I am bored during a surgery. Mainly it seems to kick when we are using the radiation..how does it know? This scares me every time and I begin to wonder if I should quit tomorrow and stay out of that damn cath lab. During one particularly long surgery when I was clad in every sort of protective garment imaginable due to the patient having Hep C and HIV, I began to make a list of all the jobs that I could have that would be worse for me at this time in my life.
1. Worker in a Nuclear Power Plant
2. Flight attendant
3. Scuba Diver
4. Surgeon
5. Interventional Cardiologist
6. Jockey
7. Radiation Technologist
8. Interventional Radiologist
9. Astronaut
10. Firefighter
11. Policewoman
12. Paramedic

There are probably more, but that is the list so far. I made it to make myself feel better, but it didn't really work.

May 1
Eric and I are flying home for a visit on May 23rd. yippee. I've never started packing so early. We can hardly wait and have begun the countdown calendar.
In order to travel back to the US on Qantas airlines, I needed to get a letter of approval from my OB and we had to get travel insurance for all THREE of us. Weird.
Unlike our US health insurance, Australia insurance only covers us when we are within Australia or in New Zealand. Anywhere else we go, we need travel insurance. The Aussies don't understand why we need to get insurance to travel to our own country. "Aren't you Americans though?" They are perplexed. After having lived in this system for a few months, I can see how confusing it is for them. "We don't have public health care, " I have to explain, "All insurance is private." Thus begins a long line of questioning about what we do when someone doesn't have insurance...ahhh....the debate goes on. Are we the only country in the world like that? I feel like I'm in a Michael Moore movie.
So...I had to fill out some forms, guarantee that we would be back before I was 26 weeks along in my pregnancy since that is the limit for most travel insurance, and then pay a fee schedule for US travel.
Now my doc will be putting me on some sort of low dose heparin (blood thinner) and then I get to wear those sexy thigh high compression stocking for the 30 hour flight. Comfy, eh? I know that you are all jealous.
Forgive me if I'm a little cranky when we deplane in St. Paul.
Oh, and yes, the flight is 30 hours. The only ticket we could get takes us from Melbourne to New Zealand, to LAX and then on to MSP. It makes a person wonder if going the other way around the world would be faster.

May 2
Eric called from the grocery store. "Want anything special," he asked. "Gummy anything, " I replied. He came home with gummy dinosaurs and sour gummy snakes. Now I don't want anything gummy anymore.

May 3
My belly button used to look like a small upright oval, now it looks like a giant cheerio.

May 4
I Want OLIVES! NOW!

May 6
I'm klutzy and forgetful. I tried to do a nice presentation to a doctor this morning after seeing a patient and I ended up dropping all the papers on the floor...twice. The patient printout is a giant roll of information and the thing capsized out onto the floor like a giant roll of toilet paper. I tried to compose myself, but when it happened the second time, I just stated, "Sorry, I must have taken my awkward pill this morning." It got a chuckle, but I think the man just felt sorry for me.

May 7
20 Weeks! Halfway baby. We went to our official baby ultrasound scan today. It's like going to the premier of the best movie ever. We were seriously giddy and excited beyond reason. The kid was sleeping and laying on one arm while waving the other one. One foot was out, the other was tucked back. It sleeps like me. We got to see the fingers and toes, heart, brain, bladder, bones, and face. On close inspection of the feet, the kid had a giant big toe just like Eric. I asked Eric if he had endured a lifetime of ridicule due to his enormous toes. He stated that I was the only one to ever even notice it and he sounded mildly offended. Maybe that should be the last time I tease him about it.... Naw....

May 8
My coworkers want to know if it is a boy or a girl. When I told them that we didn't find out, there was mild disappointment. Then my coworker Donna declared that she had a magic crystal that would determine the sex of the child. She opened a silk bag and pulled out a pendant that she then rubbed on my belly and waved over me. (Yes, this was at work). She asked questions of the crystal and after serious deliberation, it was declared that I was having a boy.
Just for the record, crystal-totin' Donna says it's a boy.

May 10
It's Saturday. It's beautiful here with the leaves changing color for fall. Eric and I are excited for our trip home and even more excited for this baby. Despite the hormones, the cravings, and the general tubbiness, I'm really really happy. Ahh....second trimester bliss. Love IT!!!!

Life cycle of a scooter

2008-04-22T13:30:00.000+10:00

I am not sure if I expressed enough how much items cost here. When we first moved, we of course had to buy a car. We were pretty specific about our needs because of all the stuff that Beth has to carry. We had decided on the Honda CRV. Since we had driven it before and almost bought one previously. We bought a used one and you would have thought that it was brand new, just because of the sticker. Basically two sold cars in the states equal one used car in Australia.

We had driven this car for awhile and it needed the 50,000 Kilometer check. I brought it into the dealer that we bought it from to have the check up down. I went down on an early Saturday morning dropped it off and was told that it would be down in about an hour and that I would go get some brekky (breakfast). I went to one of my favorite spots, had my coffee, eggs, bloody Mary…etc. About 45 minutes later I got a call telling me that the car was ready. I walked back to the dealership and started looking over the statement of what they had done, and how much that it cost. The statement read something like: changed oil, changed oil filter, checked fluids, visually inspected tyres (tires), tyres didn’t need rotating….on and on. I looked at the price at the bottom of the sheet and saw that it was about $150. My thought was that everything is expensive here and that I should just deal with it. What I was mistaken about was that is the bill just for the parts. When I turned the page I saw the rest of the bill….total of $278.25. Most of you know that it takes awhile to get me riled up, when I saw that price tag I blew a gasket. I literally started yelling at the guy, and pointing to the sheet showing that the only thing that they really did was change the oil. No tyre rotation, no car wash, no transmission fluid change….I could go on and on. I kept pointing these things out and asked how it was possible that they could have my car for 45 minutes and charge me that much. The guy mistakenly told me that it took two technicians to do all the work. I told him that I have worked on a car or two in my life and that there was no way that he could justify this bill. He just kept saying sorry, that was what it cost. I argued with him for about 20 minutes. I called him a liar, a cheat, and a criminal. I mentioned that I liked the look of the brand new garage facility, but didn’t think that it was fair that I had to pay for the whole thing. As you can probably guess, I failed at getting the price reduced. I even went back to the salesman that I bought the car from and complained to him, his co-workers, his manager, and nothing.

Since cars cost so much Beth and I decided that we would only have one, and that I should use “alternative” transportation. The public system here is pretty good. There are trams, trains, and buses. Getting around is pretty easy. The draw back is that is takes awhile. My commute to work was taking me about an hour, which is fine but I have only so many “This American Life” pod casts to listen to, besides I could use a little more freedom. The solution to this was for me to buy a scooter. It took me a few months to get used to the idea, and I had to take the motorcycle class. I hunted around several places for my new “bike”. Again everything was a little expensive but I could certainly handle these prices over a car. After my research as to what kind of scooter I wanted, I came to the conclusion that a Honda would be best. A four stroke Honda Lead 100cc would get me where I wanted to go. It would not be fast enough to take on the highway system, but it would be an excellent commuter vehicle. Where should I buy it? Hmmm. I went to the closest Honda dealer. Unfortunately it is the same dealership that ripped me off on the oil change. I was only going to look, what can that hurt. When I test drove the Lead I fell in love with it and wanted it. I negotiated with the dealer and got them to take quite a bit off. After we came to an agreement I told him that he could have a deal that day if he took off another $278.25. I am very proud of myself for getting back at the big evil dealership.

With my new scooter the commute to work is about twenty minutes, and I have the luxury of running errands. Traffic and parking are a huge issue in Melbourne. With the scooter you can split traffic (drive between cars) and park basically wherever you want, even on the side walks. I also calculated that it is cheaper for me to drive the scooter than it is for me to take public transportation. Scooter is about $1 a day public transport is $2.80 a ride. Scooter wins hands down. Life is good.

After about 15 weeks of commuting to work, zipping off to the video store to get our daily dose of the West Wing, and volunteering to run up to the store for groceries, I am feeling really good about my purchase. Beth likes it too because the last thing that she wants is to get into the car after a day of work. On April the 10^th I was on my way to work and enjoying my ride when someone turned from the other side of the road to go on a side street. I had no time to stop and hit the door of his car. I ended up sprawled out in the middle of the street, still unsure of what happened. The other driver jumped out of his car and said that he didn’t see me. That is the downside of owning this kind of transportation. We exchanged information, he made sure that I was fine, and I got the name and phone number of witnesses. No worries I am fine. The scooter has seen better days though the front end is smashed and there are scrapes all over the sides. I continued to work and progressed through the day. My neck started to feel sore, other than that I was fine. I made the appropriate phone calls to the insurance agent and got that all squared away. There is a place that can do the repair that is just a little ways away and I could get it there for the price quote. I brought it in the next day and it was looked over by the mechanic. I was told that I could drive it home if I felt comfortable doing so. I am not afraid to say that I had some apprehension….. get back up on the horse right? The assessor from the insurance company would not be able to get to the bike shop until the following Friday and asked if I could have the scooter there by that time. As they say here “no worries”. Thursday after work I was driving to the repair shop. I slowed down at a traffic light because it is a six way stop and I was not sure what the traffic was going to do. For the second time within a week I found myself flat on my back in the middle of traffic wondering what happened. This time I was rear ended by a cab driver. Since I had not been run over yet I knew that traffic was stopped. I decided to just stay there and reflect for a moment. Am I a bad driver? Am I doing something wrong in my life that this is happening? Does God hate me? It didn’t take long before I was surrounded by a bunch of people asking if I was alright. A quick check revealed no broken bones or blood; I was just more surprised than anything else. I figured that I must be doing something right since I have now been in these two accidents and no significant injuries. Once again I gathered information on the other driver and witnesses to the accident.

I have learned today that the scooter is “beyond an economical repair” in other words they totaled the thing.

I really enjoyed my scooter, but maybe I should stick to the trains, trams, and a bicycle.

Veggie Overload

2008-04-18T14:09:00.000+10:00

My friend Amy wrote a blog about becoming "slap happy." In honor of that story, I give you this:

A couple weeks back, I decided to branch out of my cooking routine and try my hand at cabbage borscht. This was partly brought on due to my recent lack of vegetables in my diet (fear of listeria - more pregnancy junk) and fueled by the fact that Eric said he had never eaten borscht.

How could that be? In my German and Irish family, we practically grew up on the stuff. Cabbage is about the one food the two countries agree on completely. Cook it...cook it well...cook it until its done done done.

The only cabbage that the store had in stock just happened to be a purple variety. When I was cutting and chopping the purple onions, purple beets and purple cabbage it all seemed very surreal. I was busy chopping away when Eric came home from work so I greeted him with a cheery, "Go Minnesota Vikings". We had a good chuckle.

After about a half hour, everything was in the pot and boiling away. If you think beets are purple when they are in their natural state, they become an even darker shade in the water. Suddenly the water coming out of the boiling pot was coloring everything around it. My hands were stained, the rags that I used to clean the kitchen was stained and the marble counter tops were an odd hue.

Eric had run off to the store to pick up a few more West Wing episodes for us to watch when he called to say that Blockbuster was missing the ones we wanted. He wanted to know if I wanted to watch "The Color Purple" instead. That began a series of us firing back at each other with movie titles like "Purple Rain," anything with "Barney" or "The Purple Rose of Cairo".

Finally he returned home with some Russian mob movie featuring Vigo Mortenson and Naomi Watts.

At that time, we discovered that the borscht had magically grown in the pot and was enough to feed about 30 hungry Germans. We would be eating this stuff for weeks.

We sat dangerously on our very white couch eating giant bowls of very dark purple borscht while watching the mob movie. As fate would have it, there was a scene in the movie where the Ukrainian Grandma makes a giant pot of Borscht to feed the entire mob.

At this point we lost it.

I don't think either of us really liked my attempt at Borscht, and now it was a thing of mockery. Whether it just wasn't very filling or because we had a years supply of it on the stove, we both managed to down two bowls of the stuff. My ancestors would be proud.

They should really post a label on the stuff though - this is not a good pregnancy food.
Within minutes, my abdomen swelled to about double its size. The laughter didn't help the pain at all. I had to put on emergency sweatpants and let my bowling ball size belly have some space.
Eric and I have been chronicling my pregnancy through weekly photos of my belly. We toyed with the idea of doing a series of "pre-borscht" and "post-borscht" photos to add to that series.

Let that be a warning to all pregnant women out there. Skip the borscht!
Oh, and to everyone else...use GREEN cabbage.

Bali Unplugged

2008-04-13T17:32:00.000+10:00

KP comes to visit in Australia and decides that she wants to take a "side" trip to Bali. It's a bit like saying, "Since I'm visiting the US, I may as well see France." But oh-well, I'm game for it and she's the one doing the many travel hours on planes, so it's off to Bali we go.

It is lovely in Bali - opposite of dry Melbourne. Very very green. Ireland Green. Green like St. Patrick's Day green. Green like a jungle. It is hot, muggy and I am sweating with reckless abandon.
Our hotel looks like something out of a Travel and Leisure magazine and I am grateful that KP picked it out. I tend to make trips harder than they are...see too much...travel to too many places...stay in cheap hotels to cut costs. This is luxury and it's good to be along on someone else's style vacation. I always need a rest when I come home from my trips - this one I'll actually get to lay by the pool and sip drinks with umbrellas and such.

Our resort has this gorgeous open air restaurant where we enjoy breakfast every morning. The monkeys swing from the trees nearby and the sounds of the water in the canyon below us echo up as we enjoy fresh fruit, pancakes, yogurt, and tea and coffee. We are in Shangri-La.

According to KP, it's Shangri-La only if the monkeys go away. They have a mutual dislike going on. I think it's because she is blond and her head looks like a big banana to them. This causes no end to their frustration. We ended up at something called the Monkey Jungle and people were sitting with the monkeys. However, Kathy walked in and a whole tribe of vicious, teeth barring monkeys took off after her. She screamed and threw bananas at the beasts as she ran in terror through the park. All we brown haired people in the park thought it was hilarious.

Since that time, the monkeys have her number. They are on our porch at night...they run around our roof in the morning...and they chase her through the fields at our hotel. She lives in constant fear of these limber tree dwellers.

The town that we stayed in is called Ubud. It is in the mountains of Bali and absolutely beautiful. I did take a day trip to some of the beaches in the south and they were not nice. I hear the area to the north and east of us is quite gorgeous but the southern area is like a big Australian party zone and if this is the only place I ever went in Bali, I think I would hate it. There are people there tying to lure you into their shops, poverty is everywhere and you get the general feeling that things are a bit unsafe. As soon as I arrived, I wanted to leave.

Ubud is the artists area of Bali and famous for its textiles, jewelry, woodcarving and dance theaters. The people are smiley and happy and very willing to help. Yes, they still want the best price for things and everyone says that they can get you a deal, etc. etc. But generally we have found happiness in Ubud and love the people and the surroundings. We are enjoying good food, exploring the temples and palaces, purchasing beautiful sarongs and actually wearing them, and walking the rice fields and countryside.

One evening we went to one of the dances in the palace and watched the performers prance around with odd postures and flexing arms and legs. They learn these dances when they are kids and it is an honorable thing to be good and a well respected performer. Most remarkable is what they do with their eyes. I swear they are in a trance - eyes flickering at rapid pace. The dance was exotic and interesting. There was one part of the dance where there were about six women on stage...they were all dressed alike and had the same makeup and hair. There movements were coordinated and it was eerie. We called it the Balinese Robert Palmer girls.

Wanting to reach out a bit from Ubud, Kathy and I hired a driver for the day and went on a countryside tour. The natural surroundings are stunningly beautiful but it's most amazing to see how the people live. The houses are actually compounds. They have a wall and then several huts and temples within the grounds. It looks like they all live in the Minneapolis sculpture garden. There is a cooking hut, a sleeping hut, a prayer hut, etc. We saw some of those magical terraced rice fields and followed one of the many temple celebrations through the streets for a couple miles. We felt like we were in the parade. We stopped in a couple of towns and wandered about with some local guides and our driver just waited for us. Actually, he did some shopping of his own because we somehow ended up with a caged rooster in the back of our van. The thing flapped around like mad. Feathers were flying, and at one point, the rooster began to crow. Eventually KP clucked it to rest. Fearful monkey girl is actually a chicken whisperer.

It is hot hot hot here and muggy beyond belief. We intended to go on a hike at one point today, but bailed out when it was too warm and we were without any sort of food or water. It was about hour 6 into our day trip. We were overheated, sick of being in the car and ready to get back to the hotel pool. KP got the giggles and kept repeating "nacho mama" to the point where I told her to shut up. Then she started repeating the annoyingAustralian "YEEEEAHHH" and I told her to go back tosaying "nacho mama." Our van driver got into the nacho mamapart as well and suddenly we were a car of crazed people repeating "nacho mama" over and over for no known reason. Road trip madness.

Just in the nick of time, we stopped at an outdoor market where we bought some fruit I had never seen in my life. One type was bitter but had the texture of an apple. I didn't like it. The other one was fleshy and when we cracked it open it looked like a white clementine. It was slimy but tart and I liked it. I was famished and consumed about three of them before I had the fear that I may be severely allergic and not know it. One hour later there was no swollen throat.

Very strange to eat new and exotic fruit - I wonder how many others there are in the world that I haven't yet tried.

However, the lack of foods, places to use a toilet, and crazy country roads did make me want to heave. Nacho mama.

The next day we stayed in town, took a cooking class and ate our spicy creations. Our class was a fun group of people from places all around the world. However, there were two exceptionally annoying women from California in the group that everyone grew tired of as the day progressed. Why did they have to be from America?

We were taught to make ceremonial Balinese food and created about 6 different flavorful dishes with each tasting better than the next. It was a whole day of cooking and the afternoon heat was suppressed as the rain poured down around our thatched roof cooking space. Don't ask me to make any Balinese food at home. Even though I have the recipes, I don't think I could ever find the ingredients. Candle nut anyone? Fresh Palm sugar?

************

Bali is famous for massage and our hotel is no exception as there is a spa retreat located on the campus. Our room comes with two complimentary massages and so we booked in for each of our treatments around the same time. That way we could head into town for the evening and have dinner and see one of the dancing shows.

However, as we waited for our individual massages, it became clear to us that they were putting us in the same room. Apparently, it was a 'couples' massage. For the next two days, every time KP would ask me what my favorite part of Bali was, I would gaze at her lovingly and reply "the couple's massage". We had a total of 4 treatments at our hotel and even though we asked for separate rooms, they always put us together. By the end of the week, we were to have enjoyed couples massage, couples reflexology, couples pedicure, and couples facials.

It turns out massage was to be a big part of this holiday. It's such a luxury and in Bali, it is wonderful and VERY inexpensive. One day, after exploring the markets and having a filling curry lunch for about 3 dollars, we saw some relaxed people coming out of a nearby courtyard. There was a spa located just behind the gates and the people were happy to tell us about how great it was. They were all Europeans and began to tell us about the 90 minute treatments that we could have for 14 US dollars. We checked it out, there were appointment times available, and we signed up. The list included all sorts of treatment and I signed up for something with a soak massage and some sort of yogurt treatment

Now, as I write this, part of me can't believe I'm going to put in up on the blog. No doubt, when you are finished reading it you will think exactly what I thought - that KP and I just paid someone 14 dollars to molest us. We preferred to think of it as "Attack of the massage therapists."

For the first time, I was lead into a "private" room. That's where the "private" part ended. At our nice hotel, the massage therapists do a very American style massage where they keep all areas covered unless they are being treated. Such was not the case with the very authentic Balinese massage.

The private room was surrounded by brick and thatched walls, it contained a tub filled with local flowers, a tile floor, a fountain (which, by the way is torture to the bladder of a pregnant woman) a small shower, and a single bed in a raised area of the room. The bed was very wide and had just a plastic mat with a sheet over it. There was also a coat rack in the room. My massage therapist was a 4 foot 8 Balinese woman who pointed to the coat rack and told me to undress. She just stood there in front of me. About 2 feet in front of me. I gave her a look and then thought, "Oh well,” and proceeded to get naked. She had me get up on the bed which now felt like it was mounted in the sky. There was no sheet to cover me. As I began to wonder how this tiny woman would massage me as I lay somewhere close to the thatched rooftop, my answer became quite clear. Suddenly this woman was on top of me and straddling me as she rubbed my back and arms. Now, I must admit that the massage was pretty great, but my own insecurities took over and I was tense for the majority of the rub down. I began to think that the people leaving the place had deceived us but I quickly came to the realization that they were European and probably don't have my American Anti-Naked sentiments.

Just as I began to relax, the woman told me to flip over on my back. I wanted to die. I kept my eyes firmly shut and started my mantra of "find your happy place...find your happy place..." The woman began to rub almost all of me. As I lay there feeling more naked and more exposed than I ever have in my life, I wondered if this was some sort of glorious joke. Was I the only one having this sort of treatment? Was KP going through the same thing in her room? Was there a camera in the room and later I would come across this on youtube? If it were to be on youtube, how many stars would this get?

My thoughts were interrupted by the sudden food application. The "yogurt" treatment that I had signed on for, involved a series of edible things. I was given a coconut and papaya scrub, then salt was applied, and finally coconut milk and yogurt were applied to my body. I was tingling and itchy and I began to wonder if baby living inside me was aware that we were now becoming a dessert. At long last, I was helped to the shower where my massage therapist ladled water over me and threw more yogurt at me. At this point she paid close attention to my belly and rubbed yogurt all over it and talked to the baby in Balinese. What did she say?

When all the foods were finally rinsed off me, I stepped into the flower filled tub. Now, it looks nice to have a bath filled with flowers, but what they don't tell you is that the petals float and the stems have a tendency to go toward the bottom of the tub. 'Enough said bout that.

After 90 long minutes, I was dressed and exiting my private room. I paid for our massages and waited for KP. When she came out of the room, she didn't look at me. In fact, the next 30 minutes were spent in subdued silence. Finally, she uttered the phrase, "So...were you wondering if it that massage was going to have a happy ending?"

Tadpole Diary

2008-03-23T13:31:00.000+11:00

Hello All -
Hooray - the word is finally and officially out about the baby in the works. There is relief that comes with being able to talk about this. When I was freaking out, sick all of the time, and in the closet about the baby, I started to keep a diary. This is that diary....

17th of Jan
I am just now returned from one of most annoying doctors office experiences. Worthless waste of money and time that was!

I'm joyously happy to find myself unexpectedly pregnant but I also am weeding through the messy and frustrating Australian Health care system. I found out less than one week ago that I was expecting and it turns out I am too late to book into most private hospitals. What the? Did people book because they were anticipating being pregnant? How can every maternity ward be full for end of September already? And how about the notion of booking a bed in a maternity ward anyway? It's beyond strange to me. How do they know when my "expected date of confinement", as they call it, is going to be? What if I go early...will they then say..."oops, sorry, can you hold it in for another couple weeks dear?"

Trying to find an OB and navigate the private vs. public system is a nightmare. I have been on hold approximately 2 hours within the public system and I have never gotten to speak to a live person. What if there is an emergency? It doesn't bode well. I also found out that you don't get an ob with the public system...just a midwife for the delivery and prenatal care is with some random nurse. If I book an OB, then I'm going private and the bills are impossible to figure out. They can charge whatever they want and my health fund either will or won't reimburse me. There is a code for delivery, labor, anesthesia, ob, the room, the FOOD, and extra care, etc. etc. How can I figure all this out? I tried to book into an OB but he won't see me for 9 weeks. What does this mean for prenatal care? I've been relying on the Internet and have found out that bad things are too much coffee (so I stopped it completely - what's nine months?), alcohol, sushi, soft cheeses like brie and feta (travesty!), and too much chocolate. OK, got it. Good old Internet. I'm taking a prenatal vitamin and there are all these warnings about too much folic acid, too little. ugh.

I rang up the OB's office again and chatted with the receptionist and she suggested that I go to a General Practitioner in the meantime. After searching for a GP in my area, I made an appt and went. This is what the 90 year old GP who couldn't understand my accent told me: wine is fine, 2 or more cups of coffee a day won't hurt me, he has never heard that pregnant woman can't eat cheeses and that I was loony for thinking it because cheese has good calcium. However, I should avoid bouncing up and down, no running, and be careful of exercise and sex. These two things (sex and exercise) were bigger problems than coffee and alcohol. He reconfirmed the pregnancy test and then told me to come back in the morning after fasting for a blood test. When I asked what the blood test was for, he said to test for pregnancy. I don't know about you all, but I think that two confirmed pregnancy tests and a late cycle pretty much mean that I'm pregnant. And I can pretty much expect that in about two months my belly will begin to expand and that will provide yet another confirmation in the whole pregnancy debate. I'm not going back to this man. I will just wait the nine weeks to see an ob. I can take care of my own prenatal by reading the Internet and perhaps buying a book from the bookstore.

26th of Jan (Australia Day)
I'm exhausted. How can I be this tired all the time? I wake from a nap and feel just as unrested as I did before I fell asleep. Eric and I went on a walk this evening and it felt like uphill both ways for me. Our conversation went something like this...

Me: I'm sick
Eric: You're not sick

Me: I think I have mono
Eric: You don't have mono

Me: What is wrong with me then?
Eric: Nothing, your just using your energy somewhere else

Me: Maybe I'm diabetic
Eric: You're not diabetic

Me: Maybe I'm dying
Eric: You definitely aren't dying

Me: If I was dying and you just blew it off, you'd feel really bad
Eric: You are not dying

Me: Honestly, wouldn't you feel the least bit bad if I was really dying
Eric: you are not dying.

Me: You'll be sorry.

3 Feb
Found a wonderful new GP who called her favorite OB and he made room for me in his practice even though I am ALREADY 7 weeks along. (still doesn't sound long to me, but the booking into a hospital thing is difficult). I have felt like I have the flu for about the last two weeks and I am exhausted. I bawled my eyes out in her office and she cooed and was sympathetic to me. Love her.

11 Feb
Today I was actually feeling OK by about 2 pm...so Eric and I went out for a very late breakfast. I had scrambled eggs and toast and a bit of bacon and it all stayed down. Amazing. That's a first. I've been eating crackers and soup broth for a week, being nauseous Evey morning noon and night, and generally looking and feeling like hell all day long. People at work think I'm homesick and crying. The puffiness in my face is from the nausea. I have an on call shift all of next weekend and am gearing up for a 12 day stretch of work without a break. I used to hate those at home but I'm not sure how I'm going to bear it feeling as I do.

If I felt like this at home, I would surely call in sick. Can I call in sick for the next several weeks?

This morning I was extremely weepy and Eric was very comforting. I'm tired of being sick all the time and I'm tired of this constant fever. I have been hovering at around 100 degrees for the past few weeks - I'm hot to the touch and Eric is accusing me of cooking our child.

I am also actually somewhat fascinated by the status of my belly. It doesn't feel like me and I have no control over it. What was normally a somewhat flat stomach in which I took much pride, is now an uncontrollable gas bubble that churns and puffs at its own will. It is sometimes so enormous, I can barely zip my pants, let alone fuss with the top button. The discomfort is unbelievable.

I get up about 4 or 5 times in the night to go to the bathroom - how can that be?

I dream and dream...I'm skiing...I'm getting a pacemaker...I'm in the hospital for my appendectomy and no one believes me that I already had it out...I'm starting a new job...I've lost my keys and cant get out of the apartment...I dream that Eric sends naked pictures of me out on the internet....eee gads. I wake up sad and overwhelmed that I am in a foreign country. I wake up mad at Eric about the naked pictures.

I am confused by how much of this due to pregnancy and how much is actual real loneliness or real sadness. Some of the books say that all of this is linked to the 1st trimester and the discomfort and flood of emotions will turn off like a faucet after 12 weeks. However, they also warn that some people feel like this all 40 weeks. I'm hoping I'm in the first group. Seeing as I'm approx 8 weeks at this point, I don't even know how I can take another 4, let alone 32 weeks.

I'm now booked in to a hospital, I have a general practitioner that I adore, and an OB that seems fine. He did an ultrasound when I visited last Friday and it was really bizarre. For years I've looked at other peoples ultrasounds and they have been relatively meaningless. Now here I am. There is this huge pregnancy sack that looks like a giant empty black space and there on the side is a tiny little thing with a beating heart. There is all this space and there is this kid hanging on to the wall. Eric looked at it and said, "Hey, you can spread out in there."

I also have my first incident with the not-so-private Australian health care system. A packet arrived in the mail with my blood work. You should see this thing. It's the most comprehensive analysis I have ever had. No wonder they took 5 vials of blood. It's 11 pages long. Well, it's supposed to be 11 pages long. Mine is 12 pages. I was reading the 12th page and was very confused by it until I realized it wasn't for me. I read enough to know I shouldn't be reading it and will be taking it back to the pathology lab on Monday so they can mail it to the correct person. It was an analysis directed for someone else including such details as method of collection (masturbation) and volume (3 ml). It included a name and address. Now I'm wondering who else has MY lab results.

Feb 19
Just got the bill for the lab tests. $275. Was that really necessary? The pee on the stick test cost me just $12. $275 seems to be the going rate for everything these days - it was the cost of the car tune up as well (shocking!) and it was also the cost of the side view mirror that I bashed by driving too close to our garage door.

Still sick every morning. My diet is that of a 5 year old. I only like cheese, bread, pop sickles, soup, crackers, blueberry muffins, and cheerios. Tomatoes are the enemy, and spicy things are yucky. I'm grossed out by meat and the smell of what other people are eating. Oh, French fries are OK too. Yes, I have taken on the diet of a 5 year old. Eric is telling me this is happening so that when our kid refuses to eat certain foods I will be sympathetic to his or her wishes.

Feb 27
I got radiated yesterday and I'm freaked out. My job in a cardiac cath lab exposes me to radiation on a regular basis and I'm not happy about it. I have 6 cumulative years of radiation in my body and now that I am pregnant, I am extremely careful. I put on the best and heaviest lead suit that I can find, I stand behind people whenever possible and I step as far away from the tube as possible to minimize my exposure. I don't like being around the stuff, but it's unavoidable if I continue my job. However, yesterday I was in a long long day of procedures and I we were finally finished for the day. All of us, except the doctor had taken off our lead and were cleaning up the room. I was standing right next to the flouro tube and was trying to organize my gear. About a minute later, the doctor yelled, "Jeff! You are standing on the pedal!" This fool was radiating all of us for about a minute and no one knew! I was right next to the tube. I would be angry with this kind of exposure, but now that I'm carrying a child, I'm absolutely panicked. I got home last night and we called the OB and then looked up what radiation can do to a 10 week old baby. It's not pretty and I had to stop reading because I became so upset.

Eric is hounding me to report this and tell everyone at work. What good will that do now? An "incident report" hardly seems like enough. My OB was very kind and gentle and told me he didn't know much about cath lab radiation exposure but would talk to his radiologist friend and get back to me. I'll be waiting for his call today. ugh.

Feb 27 continued
OB called. He was reassuring and told me his radiologist friend didn't say there was much cause for concern. I'm still concerned, but trying not to be.

Feb 28
All the Aussie magazines at the checkout counter show all the celebrities and their baby bumps. Is everyone in Hollywood pregnant? When our little Lampert-Tjossem goes to make his or her big break in California she/he will need to compete with all the Jolie-Pitt and Urban-Kidman children of this world. Even if she or he is a singer, there will be competition from the two J-Lo just released to the world.

March 1
Next weekend I have a work conference and the pressure will be on me to party with everyone else. When you don't have a drink, everyone notices. It is part of the Australian culture. I will need to tell my managers. I'm dreading it.

Part of the reason that I was hired over here is because three people on my staff are out on maternity leave at the present time. When they go on leave, they are gone for a year. How will my bosses take this news? I've consulted the internet for advice in this arena and was told not to apologize for it - just be businesslike.

March 2
My OB ordered me to have more blood tests. Apparently as comprehensive as the first round was, the GP didn't order the items you actually need during pregnancy. The OB questioned if I had told that doctor I was even pregnant, because apparently he ordered about 12 tests I didn't need.

March 3
Told Eric's parents today over skype. How fun! We video conferenced (it's free people!) and Eric just held the ultrasound photo up to the camera and told them to say hello to their newest grandchild. Eric's mom cried. It was great! I'm excited to tell more people.

March 4
Went to the gym today for the first time since December. I've been too sick to go until now. The elliptical trainer nearly killed me. I used to go at a high rate and resistance for 40 minutes on that thing. At a low rate and resistance, I could barely make 15 minutes today. How will I make it through labor?

The gym's personal trainer said hello and asked me where I had been. When I told him I was pregnant, he walked over to Eric and slapped him on the back and yelled "Good on ya, Mate!" You should have seen Eric. He puffed up and stuck his chest out. He's all proud and manly these day. I'm not sure he knows I had anything any part in this.

March 5
Told both my managers today. They both had the same reaction. It was a four letter word beginning with F. Sometimes it was stung together in a series. Then they wised up and said 'congratulations'. It's a really big deal when people get pregnant here because they can take leave from their jobs for a full year. It is an unpaid time off, but their employers must guarantee them their job back when they return. That is stressful for companies and most have to recruit someone to fill in for that year. In this job, the training takes a bit more than a year so they just rely on everyone else to pick up the slack.

Naturally,they wanted to know if I planned to stay in Australia. Since my package doesn't come with any US health insurance I informed them that yes, I would be staying here. I also won't be taking a full year, but I will take longer than what the US gives us. I think I'll take four months and then transition back to work with a part time month. The US policy was three months full pay and this is one year no pay. I'd like the salary, but at this point in my life, I'm more happy with the time off. It will be the longest break in my working career. I can't wait to spend that time loving a child.

March 10
Went out of town this weekend to lovely Byron Bay for a work conference. The country director was a bit drunk on Friday night and he announced to everyone at my table that I had "news". I couldn't just sit there in silence, so I told everyone that I was pregnant. I felt like a fool. Seated at my table were some of the physicians I work with, the president of Boston Scientific, and a rather well known electrophysiologist from the US. No one really knew what to say and I wished the earth would swallow me whole.

On the second night, I sat with two people whose wives had both delivered babies in foreign countries (Japan and the US). They shared their experiences and both were really kind. They talked about the challenges and we all laughed about various doctors visits. It redeemed the weekend a bit for me. I'm glad I'm not having the baby in Japan. Apparently the nurse hopped up on the patient and began to push on her belly to help her along.

March 11
Ultrasound today. Everything was great and we are officially at 12 weeks. It is amazing to see this little baby with two arms and two legs kicking about within me. We saw the heart again and counted the chambers.1...2..3..4.. all good.

Now, if you friends would just answer your phones, you would all know the news.

Laura O'Brien - I don't want you to have to read about this in a blog, but please answer your phone!

Matt and Amy Brenengen know and I think Matt could care less about me, but is really excited for Eric and the baby. He is disappointed that we are in Australia because he believes my expanding belly could fulfill his documentary video dreams.

Amy Sinykin was wonderfully supportive and glad that I am joining the club of sleepless parenting. Troy Sinykin called me a fertile little minx. I love that. It makes me feel sexy at a time where I just look bloated and tired.

Eric's sister Ann also cried and was really happy for us. I didn't talk with Eric's brother Scott but Eric said is was a great reaction. Eric's brother Kurt already suspected and wasn't really surprised.

My mother had a great reaction but knew back in January when she directly asked me because I was acting 'funny'. Also, there was no hiding it from Christine Chovan as we video conference with her on a regular basis and there wasn't any logical explanation for why I was always sick and laying on the couch when she called week after week.

There are still so many more people to tell. This is where the fun begins. I wish I could tell everyone in person.

March 15
This weekend I head off to Bali for a week with my friend KP. When I was sick and miserable in February, KP made her plans to come here and Eric told me to go to Bali with her and have some girl time. I feel a little bad for leaving him behind - like taking a baby moon without the father. I am, however, looking forward to a holiday escape where we can just relax, get massages, shop for normal priced items, and swim in the incredible looking pool at our hotel. Best of all is that I feel about 150% better and can't wait to have a vacation!

Our Tadpole

2008-03-22T23:43:00.000+11:00

6 Months In: Missing Home

2008-02-24T15:44:00.000+11:00

I miss our dryer.

Our dryer back in St. Paul has one temperature – hot. We were never really crazy about it, but oh, what we wouldn’t give to have it with us now.

We are in the land without dryers. One never really considers the inconvenience of this until one has to live without a dryer. (My memories from living in Italy are coming back to me here). Most things are fine drying on a rack, but certain items such as sheets and towels are really good when fluffy. We say that our towels now serve two purposes; drying our bodies and exfoliating us at the same time.

Our apartment comes with a “drying room”. It’s a room down the hallway that is lined with heat pipes and a row of clothes lines. Eric currently has a rather large burn on his leg from the heat pipes that line the walls. It is a dangerous room indeed. We aren’t allowed to hang things outside, so the drying room is mandatory and we get one designated day per week to put our things in the ‘drying room.’ Our day is Monday.

Speaking of missing things from home, I will say that the first three weeks of February were particularly challenging. Loneliness set in and wouldn’t lift itself from our moods and hearts. It may have been compounded by several factors; my mom left at the end of January, I was ill for the first couple weeks of Feb, I had an on call stretch from work that lasted 12 days and included 4 product recalls, the weather was hot and we are so tired of summer, and we had bad news from home. Still feeling deep sadness about the death of Mr. O’Brien just before the Christmas holidays, we now also had news about the murder of one of my co-workers from Guidant and the tragic death of Annie LaFave. It’s awful to hear this news when one is at home; it’s particularly distancing to get the news via email. February winter blues don’t just affect those braving the cold. Apparently, if you are from Minnesota, it travels with you.

Things finally started to get a bit brighter last week and the malaise began to peel itself away. To get ourselves over missing home, we decided to have an “American Day.” We went to the US Consulate office in the morning. However, there were no American’s there – just Australian security guards. Next, we went to the USA food store where we bought brownies, Cap’n Crunch cereal, blue cheese dressing, butterscotch pudding, chicken wing sauce, Heinz 57 sauce, and lucky charms. We really wanted Hellman’s mayonnaise, but it’s in quarantine and it looks like the shipment will be returned to the US. Apparently, they are concerned about the egg content????.... The USA food store is a little place about the size of a 7-eleven and very overpriced (14$ for the Cap’t Crunch), but it is SO WORTH IT. I’m not sure you can sum up the enjoyment we had in eating instant butterscotch pudding from JELLO. You just can’t put a price tag on that sort of pleasure. We also began renting the “West Wing” series and are now almost finished with the third season. We particularly enjoy watching Hal’s sister as the character C.J. Cregg, mainly because she looks like her brother and we feel a connection to Hal when watching her.
We have actually gotten off the couch and out into the world this weekend, including hosting a dinner party this past Friday and going out to breakfast with two other couples this morning (Sunday). We even managed to laugh and smile a bit. Yea!

We made the error of attending a “newcomer’s network” in the height of the bluesy-time and it was a disaster. The newcomer’s network is designed for people who are looking to meet others and are relatively new to Melbourne. People can be from anywhere. We call it speed dating for friends. The only people who talked to us were those practicing their English, and one guy named Carlos who would be later known as the close-talking-bad-breath Venezuelan man. I did walk up to a group that looked interesting and most dispersed when I arrived, leaving me with two people who really weren’t very enthused about conversing.

We are sticking with the people we have met. We’ll just grow the circle from here. Forget the speed dating thing. Our friends thus far include one Australian, one Brit, two Germans, and five American’s. We should be able to come up with a good band name for that.

Well, that’s all for now. I promise to write more often from here on out….as Amy Brenengen so lovingly wrote in her last comment, “For God’s sake, how long do we have to wait for the next blog…”

Guest Log Book #1

2008-01-27T21:00:00.000+11:00

Written by Beth's Mom, Catherine - Our first visitor!

Dec 31st 2007

On the Way to Melbourne 10:15 CST about 1 hour before landing in LAX and E and E have warned me about the confusion the remodeling of the terminal in LA caused them. The pain in my left heel has intensified so I decided I'd ask for handicap help to the Int'l Terminal.The handicap van was a laugh. They left me off at the Sydney Qantas Terminal. Obviously they didn't want to circle again and just told me to check at a ticket counter. I dragged my carry-on to the next terminal and finally found Qantas/Melbourne tucked away in a corner.- Aboard the neatest plane with TV, three seats all to myself, endless snacks and meals.It's quite a long flight. I awoke from a long nap and saw on the screen that we had not even crossed the Int'l Date Line yet. The thought came to my half-awake mind that it might be best that the pilot do a u-turn or I'll need to sit here for hours again to get back to MSP.-

January 2nd MELBOURNE

Beth and Eric, all smiles, were waiting for me outside the secured area. We hugged and kissed and hugged some more and then walked through the sunshine to their Honda. I jumped in the back seat. There was no way that I would sit where the American driver would be at the steering wheel. We headed into Melbourne and Beth kept turning around looking at me and talking and not attending to driving. I finally said, "Shouldn't you be paying more attention to your driving?" She calmly replied, "Mom, I'm not driving."I realized that we were driving on the "wrong" side of the road but forgot about the position of the steering wheel in the car.

I calmed down and we arrived in their green, tree and flower filled urbanization where their all-white furnished with plump comfy beds (and other furniture and housewares, of course) apt is. Some things are quite interesting in their apt. such as differences of having drying rooms in place of dryers and the bathroom divided into two rooms, 220V that allows you to heat water in an electric teakettle in no time flat, shutters on the windows, and balmy breezes that must have something to do with the proximity of the ocean.-E an E worked schedules that were modified due to the Australian Christmas, New Year, and school long vacations prior to the start of the new school year.

It's a great time for me to be here as Eric is off for the week and Beth's schedule is reduced. Unfortunately, my heel is painful and holds me back. I've visited a MD who was most discouraging; he stated that he was acquainted with another MD who had this plantar's fasciitis for 9 months with no relief. Later in my visit Beth took me to a podiatrist who taped my foot and that helped. After several more weeks Beth took me to another Podiatrist who padded some shoe inserts and then I could finally make some tracks.

We've shared some great, great day trips and 2 super 3 day weekend trips. The 1st week in Melbourne we had an old fashioned picnic on the grounds next to the Botanical Gardens. I'm fascinated by the abundance and variety of trees, bushes and flowers here. The green areas around the Yarra River which runs through the city and the many other parks and tree line streets are most pleasing.

The Australian Open is also being played here at this time. The three of us attended 2 matches one evening or I should say on and on into the night. It was great, though, I hadn't seen a tennis match since Bobby challenged Billie Jean and that was on TV. I had no idea a tennis match could be such an enjoyable spectator sport.

Our first trip out of the city was a about 90 minute out day trip to Phillips Island to see the fairy penguins. This was a total thrill. The island is in a bay area on the southeastern coast of Australia. The three of us and about 2,000 other folks sat on concrete risers on the beach and waited for the sun to go down. The rangers turned on lights on posts high in the air and we could witness the little shavers black bodies riding in on the waves and then receding back a bit. Finally the first brave one put his feet down and waddled to shore through the shore birds. They came in with about 10 or 15 in a group. The penguins waddle up the shore to their burrows in the sand dunes. They have fished all day and then when they reach their burrows they regurgitate these fish in order to feed their young. It all seems to be about raising the family. Viewing the vast number of them in their emergence from the ocean was amazing.

We spent another day at a wildlife sanctuary where we got close up to what Australia is well know for, kangaroos. There were many other creatures of the wild namely, wallabies,dingos, emus, duck-billed platypuses, koalas, blue wrens, Tasmanian devils, cockatoos, snakes and lizards. We drove through such scenic areas to get to the sanctuary. There were rolling hills with cattle and sheep grazing, winery areas, and mountains in the distance.

On Beth's birthday Eric had made plans for a gala dinner experience. We took a dinner ride on a restored old time city tram. While we followed regular city tram routes we were wined and dined and sung to by great waiters. We had a meal, food, and wine to die for. What a treat that was. Sure glad she is a January baby as it paid off this trip.

Our first 3 day trip was to The Great Ocean Drive plus the Australian Temperate Rain Forest. I have never seen an ocean such as this. The Aussies call it the Southern Ocean but I believe the map said the Indian Ocean. I'll have to check that out. The 12 Apostles, the sandstone cliffs that are out in the ocean and the wild waves are breathtaking. The drive is south and west of Melbourne and is about 6 or 7 hours. On the way to The Ocean Drive you go through the rain forest. We deviated a bit from the highway onto gravel so that E and E could climb around to a scenic waterfall. We stood around inhaling the fresh and fragrant rain forest air. I'm not sure what all contributed to the odor, perhaps the fern trees (yes, trees), eucalyptus trees, wild flowers, and such. The last time I smelled anything that delightful was upon landing in the tropical rain forest in Canaima, Venezuela.

Beth had a sales meeting in Sydney so that was a great chance for the 3 of us to go to that city. Beth went on Qantas early on Sat the 19th with co-workers and Eric and I flew up on Virgin Blue later in the morning. We three shared Beth's posh room at the Shangri-La. Eric and I checked and went up to the 25th floor to our room. The fellow at the desk was so kind to assign us that room. Eric pulled open the drapes and there in the big windows was framed the Opera House and the harbor. I'm not sure what I said but in spite of the overwhelming view I hope it was something proper. Eric and I each took a windowsill and stared to our hearts content. Beth was occupied all day and in the evening at a dinner at the Opera House so Eric and I walked steps, steps, steps and through quaint alleys to the wharf. (This was several days following my 2nd podiatrist visit). We took in the sights and ate. Beth came in late and cuddled in with Eric. I had a huge and so comfortable bed by myself. I'm beginning to believe that the beds in Australia are all soft and comfy.On Sunday afternoon we took a ferry to the Manly Beach. Much of it was closed off due to rip tides but a portion was open for me to sit in the sand while the others jumped and were tossed in the ocean.We had most of Monday to explore the city walk around the Opera House and to tour the worlds largest aquarium. I'm not a swimmer so I'll certainly never see such water life again. The nearest I can hope for is the IMAX Great Barrier Reef. I've had such happy times just being here with Eric and Beth. They enjoy their times together, they are good to me, and so pleasant to each other. We play including their modified version of rummy which they are probably going to call Australian Rummy. I also barely got started learning a Tjossem family game named Smear. Sounds like New Ulm or Lewisville to me. I've managed the train on my own a few times, learned how to make roasted capiscum, and walk on the left side of the sidewalk. Now in a few more days I will board the luxury plane to LAX. Perhaps, I'll wake up from a long nap near the International Date Line and wish the pilot would make a U-turn from that long flight and the LA airport and return to Melbourne.

Jumping

2008-01-13T22:20:00.000+11:00

Here is something you don't do everyday!

Something New

2008-01-13T20:36:00.000+11:00

Happy New Year

2008-01-06T22:43:00.000+11:00

Season’s greetings everyone and a happy new year. Time zones being as they are, we were able to welcome the coming of 2008 before the rest of you and have had a head start into 2008. It looked like Sydney and Melbourne had pretty big celebrations, unfortunately I was feeling unwell and so spent most of the time at home in bed. New Year’s is a big holiday here because it is the full swing of summer, everybody is outside enjoying the warm weather. Speaking of warm, New Years Eve was the hottest day of 2007. It was a balmy 42C which translates to a hot 106F, YIKES. That’s a huge difference from people who are used to ringing in the New Year in Frost Bite Falls…oops in mean International Falls Minnesota.

Christmas season was a wonderful time this year. We missed friends and family but were happy to be away from the crazy-present-buying-malls. New Zealand has always been a place that we have wanted to visit and since we were so close, we decided that Christmas was the time to go there. I cannot speak about the north island, but the south island of this country is one of the most beautiful places on earth. I can see why Peter Jackson filmed LOTR (Lord of the Rings) and King Kong here. The LOTR tours are quite popular, but they looked kind of cheesy and so to the disappointment of some of you we chose not to go to Hobbiton.

Beth and I attended a Christmas Day church service and I have always thought that one of the best parts about Christmas service is the music. New Zealand has a lot of the same carols that we enjoy in the states but they have others as well. Maori (New Zealand natives) culture seems to be integrated well here. The service bulletin was printed in English and Maori and quite a bit of the service was spoken in Maori as well. We enjoyed the beautiful church and music but an embarrassing incident involving Beth, a communion wafer, a gust of wind, and the church floor caused us to hasten our departure through the nearest exit available. We have now learned the proper etiquette of fallen communion wafers. Who knew you couldn’t just hand them back?

After our excitement in Christ’s church in Christchurch, we drove the 7 hours to Queenstown. Figuring that nothing was going to be open anyway spending the time in the car seemed like the right thing to do. During this time a lesson was learned not to rent the cheapest car that you can find, if you wanted to know it is a 1992 white Toyota corolla. It was, dirty, messy, probably unsafe, and the radio didn’t work. It is a good thing that we had our ipods. Listening to the same podcast, or music is more fun than tuning the other person out, so we drove down the road each of us with one earphone in, of course being careful not to move too much so you don’t damage the inner ear of the person next to you by violently popping the earphone out.

Queenstown is a hip, cool ski town. Probably like Aspen about thirty years ago. It was mostly quiet with the exception of a few tourists walking the streets looking for someplace to have Christmas dinner. After exploring for several blocks and rejecting the cliché of Chinese food, we found a nice little Indian restaurant that looked like it had some good curry. Nothing says Christmas like Tandoori chicken. Maybe a new tradition?

Since we had booked an overnight cruise on Milford Sound, and still had several hours to drive, we wanted to get an early start. Remember that crappy car that I was talking about? It had a flat. I went to change the tire, and the spare was the small, limited speed, temporary tire…sigh. That’s fine because I still have time to go to the rental place and get a new one. As Beth found out the car rental was less than helpful and all of the cars in the whole country were being used that day. There was not a single car from any agency available. I am starting to get uptight about time because we are still not sure how long it is going to take us to get to Milford Sound, and by my calculations (granted very conservative) we should have left about 45 minutes ago. After some cajoling and creative speaking, one of the rental places changed our tyre (tire).

We will write a little more specifically in the next few blogs, just because Queenstown, and Milford Sound deserve their own space.

Sydney

2007-12-10T12:09:00.000+11:00

Has it been a month since we have last written? I think I almost feel guilty about that. Maybe the secret is to keep the entries shorter but more frequent. If that doesn’t work maybe I will need to make a New Years’ resolution. I am sure that would last about as long as the time difference from Minnesota to here.

The latest and greatest thing that we have done was spend a weekend in Sydney. We had an exceptional time. What made it most fun was that we stayed right in the heart of the city, at an area called the Rocks. This is the spot where the city was first founded and has been transformed several times over the years. What this means is there are small streets and alley ways wherever you turn. It makes for fun walking and sightseeing. The opera house is within walking distance and there are markets, stores, and restaurants around every corner. The opera house is amazing and something everyone should see in person. The Sydney Harbor is stunning and the city is an exciting place to be.

Perhaps the most “touristy” thing that we did was the climb the Harbor Bridge. I was very excited about telling everyone what we did as I thought it to be so unique and different. As it turns out Matt Lauer has already done it and featured it on “Where in the world is Matt Lauer”. We were not to be outdone by a Today Show celebrity. I’m including the web site link to take a look at some pictures of the climb (we aren’t in these photos…they are just photos of the bridge,etc). http://www.bridgeclimb.com/

They tend to take their safety pretty seriously. They made us dress in special suits and we were not allowed to bring anything with us…no camera, of course that is because they want to sell the pictures that they take. We each had a harness that permanently attached to a cable on the bridge and we pulled ourselves along on the cable until we reached the bottom once again. Every now and again one of the ropes would get stuck on the cable and we’d all get stopped. It was funny when it happened to someone else. They really tend to play up the whole safety aspect but then it does tend to heighten the whole experience. Our climb was a night climb and it was calm, cool, and dry. I imagine in the wind and rain, it could get rather dangerous and the cable would seem like something more than an unnecessary umbilical cord.

The next day we set out to enjoy some of the famous beaches of Sydney. We had heard of a few different places that we should go but I decided on Manly beach…yes, simply because of the name. To get to this place we had to take a ferry which was just as good as a harbor tour. When we got there we struck out to find our place in the sun. We hiked through the town and found a cute little family beach, where we swam and had a good time. We were a little disappointed though because we expected a lot more out of a beach. Before we left we decided to walk to a different part of the town, where we actually found the beach that everyone was talking about. I have been to a few nice beaches before but I was completely over whelmed by this. We picked a day that happened to be some sort of festival and it was filled with people, surfers, sunbathers, swimmers, and volleyball players. Since the surf was up and we didn’t have boards we decided to swim. We had the best time, playing in the water, and just hanging by the beach. We stood on a sandbar that jutted out into the ocean and to the left and right of us were surfers galore. The waves were just as high where we were standing and they absolutely pounded us. When our intake of salt water became too great, we made the long swim to the beach.
I got to experience the best part of Sydney, but then left the next day. Poor Beth had to stay the rest of the week, for work. She didn’t get to stay in the fun part of Sydney (she had a nice view of the airport though) and got to experience the traffic and crowds. At least we got to spend the fun part together.

The Simple Life

2007-11-07T00:31:00.000+11:00

Saturday was Derby Day in Melbourne and Tuesday was a city holiday due to “the race that stops a nation”…The Melbourne Cup. Women and men dress in their finest duds and proceed in droves to Flemington track where they dine on fine food, drink champagne, bet like crazy, and proceed to get smashingly drunk beyond comprehension.

From our perspective, it’s the first four day weekend that we have had and we decide to forget the races and head out of town and see the sites. Besides, we were invited to a friend’s beach house from Sunday through Tuesday. The beach house is in Walkerville which is near a gorgeous national park called Wilson’s promontory. It’s a jetty of land that was once a land bridge to Tasmania. It is green, lush, hilly, windy, and surrounded by the beautiful turquoise ocean.

The government wants to place a number of wind turbines in this area and the people are divided on whether they will allow this. There are many signs and bumper stickers that protest or promote wind energy on the Gippsland coast. It’s the evolution of paradise I guess.

Eric and I decide to leave on Saturday and stay somewhere along the coast that night in order to maximize the weekend. Of course it takes us way too long to get moving on Saturday and then we decide we should avoid any trouble by booking a room before we leave. There aren’t exactly a bunch of Motel 6’s in Australia and rooms can go fairly quickly. It becomes one of those fruitless searches that makes a person decide that they hate the internet. How can there be all of this information and none of it proves in any way useful?

Maybe we shouldn’t go? What if there is no room? Arghh. There is always a room, right? We are packed; we are ready…let’s just leave and see how it goes. Three hours and only 6 incorrect detours later, we arrive at a hotel somewhere within about an hour’s drive of our final destination. Mind you, the trip to Walkerville should have only taken 2.5 hours to begin with. We go into the hotel entrance and end up in the restaurant. We search every door and after finding the kitchen, break room and restrooms, we have to ask someone the location of the lobby. She gives us a blank stare in return. Apparently, hotel’s in small towns are not hotels…they are pubs…and we have just asked if we could sleep in the pub.
We hide our embarrassment and sneak out the back entrance.

We continue on from town to town and find every small motel and b and b to be full. Didn’t we know…this is the annual motorbike festival and rooms have been booked for ages? I’m reminded of just about every road trip I have ever taken with Laura O’Brien where we suffer this exact same fate. We have tried to visit small towns during the annual water ski weekend, tulip festival, art festival, ski racing weekend, and homecoming for the local college, etc. etc.

The shadows are getting long and now we are driving on small country roads that warn of wombat and kangaroo crossings. There is a third animal represented on the signs but we just can’t make out what it is….? Kangaroos are most active at dusk so I’m officially on roo watch as Eric is driving. We pass through the towns of Leongatha, Koonwarra, Korumbura, Lang Lang and Meeniyan and finally pull into one of the motels with a brightly glowing “no vacancy” sign and ask for mercy. Eric sends me in to do the doughy-eyed-pathetic-American-needs-help-in-your-country-thing. The man gives me a list of motels with phone numbers and even calls around a bit for us. At long last we ring a motel that has a cancellation and the room is ours. We stay for the night in a little town called “Foster” which makes us giggle because it seems so Australian and because they have Foster’s beer signs everywhere yet none of the drink is available. The room is something out of a Hitchcock movie but we are glad to have it. We head to the local pub and have a good meal and a couple beers (again, not Foster’s). We shoot a few games of pool and hang out with the locals. At about 10 pm we join in with the mass dart game put on by the bar’s owner and the area high school kids. The owner of the pub explains to us he encourages the kids to come every Friday and Saturday night to host a game and, he says, “It keeps them away from all the booze out there.” It sounds quaint and benevolent until you think about it and the irony hits you that all these kids are now hanging out in the town bar, and most of them are drinking.

We retire at a decent hour because we have plans to rise early and get in a good long hike in the National Park before the others arrive. However, that night the rain starts in and it rains as if to cure Australia’s draught once and for all. It rains through the night and by the next morning someone must have turned the nozzle on high because we have to dash the 5 feet to our car just so we don’t get completely drenched. We spend most of the morning sitting in a delightful café drinking delicious latte’s, reading the paper, and eating the worst eggs benedict on the planet (Caesar salad dressing is NOT a substitute for hollandaise sauce, people!).

November 4 marks one year since the death of our beloved golden retriever Tofte and remembering her by waiting out the rain in a small town bakery and coffee shop (which also contains a strangely placed stage since it doubles for the town theater) isn’t all bad. We explore a bit of the town of Foster as well as the nearby town of Fish Creek before the call comes in that our friends have arrived and we are to meet them at the beach house.

The beach house is fashioned in 60’s style as if to say, “Austin Powers was just here.” Its tangerine orange, kelly green, and mustard yellow interior is cozy and warm with a big deck overlooking the sea and the promontory. Our friend Amanda (she’s from the US, but her Aunt is Aussie and this is her Aunt’s place) was standing on the deck and hand feeding wild bright red parrots. The beach house was one level, had sleeping arrangements for 8, and enough chairs to seat everyone comfortably around the wood burning stove. Basically, it was exactly what a cabin should be. There were five of us, but one
(Andrew) was from the area and would be staying with his parents on their farm just up the road.

The next day is cool and sunny and the crew spent the day hiking to the top of a mountain overlooking the park and the sea.
I know it was beautiful there because I saw the pictures of it.

I, unfortunately, spent the day driving back to Melbourne to help with a surgery and then back to Walkerville in the evening. Do I need to say more about this?
Probably not.

At some point when it is hot and sunny in the summer, we will rent camping gear and hike deep into the park and camp on the beach at a place called “Refuge Bay.” It is actually still quite cool at this time of year and most of the campers that we did see appeared wet and miserable…about as miserable as those lousy eggs benedict.

One of the weekend’s highlights was visiting Andrew’s family farm. This is the type of farm from a children’s storybook. If you could romanticize a farm and then create it in reality, this would be it. Now, Mom and Dad, you know I love you both…but if I could have grown up on this farm, I would be in heaven. And Bob and Gretchen, I must inform you that your son feels the same way.
For the sake of the family farm, Eric and I are hoping for adoption by the Landy family.

Imagine 2000 acres of lush green rolling hills that slope gradually down to a light blue sea. About 1 mile of sea is visible and beyond that Wilson’s Promontory rises up out of the ocean and touches the clouds. I took 20 pictures and none of them even come close to doing it justice.

We visited the farm on a sheep shearing day. Actually it was only a partial shearing for which the details are probably best left out of polite conversation. But, we did get to watch the dogs herd the flock and we watched the farm hands at work. The land was rather wet from the recent rain and our shoes were covered in all kinds of unmentionables. One of the girls in our group began laughing when she got stuck in the mud and said that she felt like Paris Hilton in the show “The simple life”.

Andrew’s parents took us in, fed us dinner, and gave us a proper tour. They are terrific company and very interesting people. We fed carrots to the horses and Andrew’s mom packed us a picnic basket of tea and cake which the five of us took down through the fields to an amazing expanse of beach. The beach was so beautiful that it was the spot his sister had chosen as her wedding site 5 years ago.

Never before have I seen a farm with a beachfront and ocean view.
It really was a place created from the imagination of a children’s book.

It’s nice to know that land so beautiful is only a short drive from here. We returned to Melbourne this evening and with horse races over, it’s back to work tomorrow. Sigh.