Pass the Germs, Please

Parenting is great. I know that I am not saying anything new, but it is better than I thought that it would be.

Some days are difficult because the needs and wants of an infant (rapidly moving to toddler) are relentless. I liken it to swimming against the tide, sometimes there is no hope, and it just wears you down.

A few weeks ago Madden brought home some sort of illness from daycare. Poor thing was up all night for two nights running and Beth and I, being diligent parents, were up as well. Since Beth is still feeding Madden, her defenses were down and got sick almost immediately as well. I was spared, good thing too, because someone has to take care of the others. Madden got over it within a few days but Beth struggled with it for weeks. In fact it got worse and she didn’t improve. Beth thinks that once she builds up immunity that she passes it right to Madden. I am not sure this is medically sound but it is a good working theory. Everything around here remains OK as long as one of us is well – that task became mine.

It is at this point when the young one ends up sneezing in my face. If my life had a sound track, the theme song from Jaws would be playing in the background. It is then that the hard work starts. Beth is unwell, I am unwell, and little metabolism Madden is just fine and since she HAD been sick, is still waking up several times in a night. She is still waking anywhere between 4:30 and 6:00AM for the day. During these early hours we would bring her into bed with us thinking that she may fall back to sleep. She rarely does but we are still hopeful. Sometimes I lie very very still so that she won’t notice me. To move in even the smallest way is to get her attention. It is a good morning when Madden chooses to poke, prod, yell at, and chew on the OTHER person.

My parenting approach is trying to avoid mistakes and I figure everything else will take care of itself. So far we have been lucky, nothing major. Madden is healthy and happy. Which makes us happy…..We are still working on the healthy.

I thought that I would post the top ten boneheaded parenting moves that I have made so far. I am happy to report that most are pretty mild.

10. Running out of nappies
9. Running out of nappy wipes
8. Traveling on a road trip while she is sick
7. Feeding her a bottle in the car seat on a road trip while she is sick
6. Forgetting to pack a bottle for Madden's after swim snack
5. Realizing that she got a shock after chewing on the end of a computer power cord.
4. Trying to get her to sit in the bathtub – oops.
3. Stepping on her fingers
2. Watching while she toppled 11 cans of Sprite on top of herself.
1. Forgetting that I had just peeled a bunch of garlic, I applied nappy rash cream to her sore
bottom.

Skype

This is how babies keep up with their grandparents when they live 10,000 miles away. Heck, if babies (or grandparents)can figure it out, so can you. It's free. It's easy. It's downloadable with the click of a button. Skype!

Random Tuesdays

It’s Tuesday. It’s random. It’s just how it is.


I have never seen a shop here that sells popcorn. Ever. Movie theaters offer popcorn and it tastes like it was made two weeks ago. But back to the popcorn shops – remember all those shops in the 80’s in the US that sold JUST POPCORN. Seriously, did they really think that business model would actually last? And do you remember the tins that you could purchase for housing the popcorn? Those tins cost a silly amount but you could keep them and put stuff in them. What stuff? More popcorn?
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Most of my coworkers are Australians and I find that when I am reading an email from one of them, it plays out in my head with their accent. Perhaps this happens because it’s a rather infectious way of speaking.
However, most recently we have hired someone from the UK and now that seems to be infiltrating my brain as well. After just a 15 minute conversation with him, everything I read plays along in my head in the Queen’s English – even MY OWN writing.
Spot of tea, anyone?
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Speaking of accents…When I am meeting someone new in one of my accounts, I introduce myself this way, “Hi, I’m Elizabeth from Boston Scientific…”
For some reason, certain people don’t hear the last word of that statement. I know that I’m in for an awkward situation when they start to talk about whether or not they’ve been in Boston or if they’ve visited America at all. After this goes on for a bit, they will usually realize something is amiss and politely ask, “So, Elizabeth from Boston, what company do you represent?”
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Cords, Outlets, Dishwasher, Shoelaces = Madden’s favorite toys
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In our house we have several cute little soft cuddly toys for baby. Has she bonded with them? NO. Instead, she has chosen to bond with a felt block that we got for free from a local fair. About eight weeks ago this fabric block was rather OK, but is now flattened to an oval, covered in drool, and overall just nasty. That ridiculous thing is her favorite. Other toys forsaken, I am sorry to report that (much to the chagrin of her parents) this felt nasty cube is the chosen one.
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In an effort to get our child to bond with something other than the felt nasty block, we purchased a new little set of toys for Madden. It was a box of cloth sea creatures - some rattled, some squeaked, and one even had crinkly paper inside. Four soft little toys that we knew she would adore. We proudly lay the box on the floor and she pulled out the toys one at a time and unceremoniously dumped them on the floor.

Then she got a huge smile on her face and squealed in delight as she stuffed the paper packaging into her mouth. The toys remained untouched on the floor but our daughter proceeded to play with the packaging and the box itself for the next day and a half.
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A note to all shoe-free households: Please stop making your guests deposit their footwear at the door and walk around in their stocking feet for the duration of the evening. It is simply not realistic. My feet get cold in your home. My pants are tailored to the bottom of my heel and I personally like making people think I’m actually 5 foot 8 inches tall. Besides, the best part of my outfit are my new shoes.
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Whenever I’m chatting with patients and they mention that they have been married for a number of years (40 or 50 years of marriage is not unusual), I ask them to share their secrets. This idea is actually borrowed from a friend of mine whom I used to work with at United in St. Paul. Anyway, patients will usually giggle for a while until they realize I’m serious. Then they put some deep thought into their answers.

I have been asking this question for about 5 years now and I love the replies. Most people say things like “Don’t go to bed angry…Marry the right person…or communicate.” All excellent advice and I love the look on their faces as they are thinking about their own relationships.

Some of my favorite bits of advice have included “Just remember you each need to do 70% of the work…Hold hands…and let the other person win.” One elderly woman winked and said, “Oh, honey, it works because I always let him drive the car.”

40

I find myself sitting in the dermatologist’s office waiting to have the doctor look at a spot on my back. Apparently, this spot has been growing steadily for the past year and my lovely hubby who can actually see it on my back told me it was time to have it checked. So, here I am. Waiting. And waiting. It’s nice. I have a little me time. Normally I think I’d be peeved about waiting, but at this time in my life, I’m happy to have a moment to myself. I look at my watch and realize I’m waiting because I actually arrived early. Um, really early.

So, for the first time in months, I find myself reading a magazine. And I am really getting into reading this magazine. So much so, I miss it when they call my name. And I’m the one and only person in the waiting room.

The particular article I was reading was commentary from women sharing their experiences about being 30, 40, 50, and 60 years old. It was well written and a fantastic read, but I was cut short and I didn’t finish it. Perhaps it being unfinished for me is why it’s still very much on my mind - but I think it also really spoke to me. I’d love to chase it up and have a read of it from start to finish, but I didn’t catch the magazines title and I think the issue was September 2007 anyway.

Having reached a new decade myself in January, age has been on my mind. Well, not so much age as stage in life and how I feel about my age and where I am versus where I thought I’d be.

First of all, I don’t feel 40. I can’t remember what I thought 40 would feel like, but it wasn’t like this. Older maybe? More together? More in control? Inside I’m still the same insecure geeky girl I was in grade school. I’m surprised everyone doesn’t see it – but they don’t.

I’m not where I want to be but I’m OK with where I’m at, for now. In 5 years time, I don’t know what I’ll be doing or where I’ll be but it will be different from now. I’m more accepting of change and the good and bad that goes with it, but I look for something to grasp for security.

40 has brought exhaustion. Blame it on age, work, or baby. Whatever. But dang, I’m tired! I just want 5 more minutes of sleep. People, it’s all I ask. 5 more minutes.

I also want more time. The clock moves faster and faster...days become weeks….weeks roll into months and suddenly, its Christmas again. Year after year, it’s Christmas and next year I swear I’ll buy gifts earlier, and I’ll get into the spirit of the season more, and it won’t be so chaotic, if I could only breathe, and then it’s Christmas again. Eek.

And every year I go through more gallons of moisturizer and yet those lines are not going away. The ones around my eyes show up in photos now. So do the bags. Because I just want 5 more minutes of sleep.

In my 20’s I had time to do extensive make up and elaborate hair. I would like a bit of that time back. I promise I’d spend it more wisely.

I would also like to be back in a smaller size. But I’m not. And strangely, it doesn’t torment me like it would have a decade ago.

When I spend time in front of a mirror these days, it’s because I’m holding a baby and she wants to see herself. For the first time in my life, I know what I look like when I genuinely smile and laugh, because I can see it played back at me. I look happy.

Work and baby leave no time for some of the things I used to love to do – pottery, nights out, good books, working out, gardening, traveling, and cooking. I think these things have stopped in part because she’s just a baby still. I miss them and I’ll get back to them over time but I’m not willing to pursue them now at the expense of cutting my time with my family short.

I find I feel a greater connection to the world around. World events shape me and haunt me more than ever.

There is more calm at this age than there was at 20 or 30. There is also far less drama. I am no longer fighting small battles, but find that I sometimes become outraged by inequities within a greater system.

I notice a desire to learn. I’m shamed that I can’t recite the names of the US Presidents in order. Certainly I should have learned this along the way. I find myself staring at world maps. I desperately want a greater understanding of the political machine, world economies, and investing. I demand to know who got us into a global financial crisis.

Sometimes, like in this doctor’s office simply reading a magazine, I get a nostalgic feeling about my past. I can vividly remember everything from studying in college to living in Italy to starting a job in Aspen. It’s like a flood sometimes. I miss moments of it but I’m more aware, content, and fulfilled in my life now.

Mainly I just think, how did I get here? Wasn’t I just 20? Weren’t my sister’s kids just babies? When did we all grow up?

I came across a birthday card once that read, “Inside every old person is a young person that wondered what the heck happened.” Does that mean when I’m 90 I’m still going to feel like an insecure, geeky grade schooler?

Oh, and that spot on my back…it’s fine. “It’s what we call a liver spot,” said the dermatologist. “It’s something that happens with age.”

Random Tuesday Thoughts

Since writing a blog entry in my head and actually getting one posted are two entirely different beasts, I've decided to copy an idea from someone else's blog. Jenni over at Oscarelli posts what she calls "Random Tuesday's". I've been a bit scatterbrained with my thoughts and ideas and this seems a good way to get the ball rolling. Besides, none of these things are actually enough to be an entry on their own. Let the Randomness begin…

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I ran into a customer today that I haven’t seen since before taking maternity leave. She asked how things were going and I went on and on and on. I couldn't help it. She also went on and on about her own two kids. Finally, she asked if I was getting used to being someones mum and I had to pause.
The answer is no. I still don't think of myself as someones mom.
Sometimes when Madden is in her cot sleeping, I sit by her side and thank the lord that she is in my life. Yet I don't think of her as "mine." In my mind she's just this sweet little being that has come to live with Eric and me. Sometime, her real parents will show up at our door and want her back, but until that time, she's staying with us and we are going to have a lot of fun.

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On my route home from work, I drive past a beautiful old Victorian church tucked neatly into a neighborhood. Outside the front of the church is a very unattractive black digital sign. It's the type of sign that flashes or scrolls typed bright red words across its length. On Monday evenings the sign boldly flashes the words AA MEETING TONIGHT. So much for that second A.

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Apparently we don't have the Greek alphabet in Australia.
Here is the conversation when I had to spell a patients name over the phone…

Me: That’s S as in Sam, E like elephant and K like Kappa….
Other: Don't you mean C like cuppa?
Me: (Pause) That's K as in Kappa
Other: Kappa?
Me: Yes
Other: We don't have Kappa's here

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One of our favorite Australian shows is "Bondi Beach Rescue". Yes, the Bondi lifeguards saving people from waves. Not much happens on that show, but it's got great characters and I think we are both fascinated by the fact that life guarding on a beach like Bondi is a career – people do this their WHOLE lives.

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My Industry sponsors a big conference each year in early May in the US. The meeting took place last week in Boston and on Friday afternoon I got a call from my two Aussie coworkers who attended the conference. They were drinking and dialing – it was 2:30 in the morning in Boston and they were hanging out with people that I had worked with in Saint Paul. My worlds collided.

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Facebook. Still not sure how I feel about it. Privacy invader or fun social outlet?

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I remember when we used to go out on Friday and Saturday nights. All grandparents are invited to move to Australia. We need babysitting.

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On Mother's Day we went to the Botanical Gardens. The day was one of those rare perfect weather, perfect time of year moments. It was a bit of Indian summer. We walked to our favorite wide expanse of lawn in the park and as when we arrived, we stood in silence. It was a scene from a painting. The green lawn sloped down to the water and rose up the other side. The cityscape was visible in the background and the lawn was dotted with people picnicking, kids playing, and dogs in little plaid sweaters being walked by their owners. We sat on the lawn next to the pram and basked in the sun for an hour. Even Monet couldn't have done justice to that scenery.

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I'm thinking about working out. That's a good step. Maybe I will even attempt to put my thoughts into action.
I'm also thinking about reading a book, something other than Baby Love, What to Expect the First Year, The Sleep Easy Solution, Healthy Sleep Habits, or Settling Your Baby.
You get the picture.

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Daycare Drama

I’m afraid of the boys in my daughter’s daycare.

It was late – almost their closing time - and I raced in to get Madden. At the end of the day all the remaining kids are together and usually outside enjoying the good weather. When I arrived, she was across the yard in the caregivers arms. She saw me, I saw her, and I loudly said, “HI BABY!” and she squealed in delight. So satisfying.

Then, the boys were there. Suddenly three older kids were upon me…teasing, jeering and yelling “Baby, Baaabbbyyyy, hiiiii baby.” They were crazed…circling me, taunting me with my own happiness. One even began leaping up at me and trying to grab my face. It was utter madness. Strangely, I was embarrassed and a bit frightened at the same time. How could I be afraid? After all, aren’t these kids like, at the most, FOUR years old??? I am actually 37 years OLDER than these little punks. So, why didn’t I feel like an adult?

Perhaps there is something about kids teasing that takes a person back in time suddenly and without warning. There I was back in carpool. Seven kids packed into the back of some parent’s gigantic wood paneled station wagon. Parry Dilworth was teasing me and pulling at the pony tails in my hair.

OK, it wasn’t that bad, but still…what a strange feeling.

I scooped up Madden and bolted through the doors of daycare. All the while I was whispering in her ear, “I’ll save you baby, you’re safe now,” when deep down I knew that it was her who was saving me.

That night led to a lot of thinking about daycare. It was not easy to find a place for her and we were on waiting lists since last July. This was back when Eric was working and we thought we’d end up needing full time care. It turns out she is just there two days per week so that she can learn to ‘play’ with other kids and have a bit of social time.

When we first went to visit this particular place, there were signs on the door that read, “We have had several incidents of lice in the past week – please check your children.”

Eee gads to that. We thought we’d never be back.

Wouldn’t you know they were the only place to call and offer us placement.

It turns out this center is the smallest of the ones at which we applied. We like the fact that there are only 30 kids total and we like that there are only 5 kids in the “under 2” room. Madden is the youngest kid by a long shot and she is often getting held and cuddled when I go to pick her up. She seems to be settling in well and doesn’t look too tired, or hungry, or upset when she comes home.

There is a chart on the wall that the daycare teacher fills in with details like the number of wet nappies, times that baby slept, and how many milliliters she drank from her bottles. Now that she’s eating solids her teacher fills in what she ate for “afternoon tea”. I rather like that. It’s so Australian.

They also keep a large scrap book in the room where they write the days activities and often include a happy photo of each child. Madden’s picture on Monday showed her in a bin of plastic balls. Next to the photo was a description that told me of my daughter’s development and excellent use of gross motor skills.
On close inspection of the photo, it was apparent that my little girl had red rings around her eyes. Hmmm.

So now I’m onto them and their game. When I drop off Madden, there is always a kid crying and another that is about to do something that will surely be reprimanded.
The REAL book would probably read something like this…

After two hours of inconsolable crying, your child was placed in the bucket of plastic balls where she finally found a brief moment of happiness. (We took a photo of happy Madden for the book). In the meantime, Ned was playing on the ground until Jake hit him over the head with the wooden block letter B. We were unable to tend to Ned due to Ari having his diaper changed at that exact moment. He cried for a time until we managed to give him a pacifier and this calmed him (see happy photo of Ned in book). Then Ari and Jake got in a fight over the letter B. At this time, Mia woke from her nap and fussed for a bottle. The two boys continued fighting until Mia’s bottle was found and mixed. Madden was now becoming unhappy after being stuck in the plastic ball box for over 20 minutes. Mia, Madden, Jake and Ned all started to cry in unison. Ari started to open the locked cabinet and was very pleased with himself. (See contented photo of Ari). Cabinet was locked and mental note was made to ensure that cabinet’s dangerous contents were not loose in baby room. Jake, now victorious since overpowering the others and getting the letter B all to himself, holds it proudly over his head (see photo in book)…..etc….etc.


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I came home tonight, opened up my email, and found a note from Madden’s daycare…”Please be warned that there has been one child diagnosed with worms as well as another child diagnosed with a case of conjunctivitis. Please check your child for the following signs and symptoms…..”

It Seemed like a Good Idea at the Time.

We met some other Americans when we first moved to Australia and we have become close. There seem to be a lot of similarities as couples, other than they are about ten years younger than we are. Unfortunately for us Adam and Jenn are leaving and heading back to the States in April.

As one of the many last hurrahs, we decided to meet up with them and another couple (our friends Tim and Tash and daughter Celeste) in the Barossa region of South Australia. For you wine geeks out there, Barossa is known for Shiraz.

Since Beth is returning to work after the glorious invention of maternity leave, we had options of transport. 1) Fly: The benefit of flying is of course time but is more costly. 2) Train: there was a special running for $198 all of us could ride, including taking a car. The problem is that our car was too tall for the train. Imagine that. 3) Drive: I am always up for a good road trip, the cost is reasonable, and it allows us the flexibility of time and what we can see along the way. Drive wins!

Everything begins fine, we get a late start in the morning because Madden needs feeding, then a change, and we have to try to time starting the journey with one of her long nap times. I then delayed it even further because I wanted a coffee from the local shop. I am trying to remember if Beth has blogged about the traffic here. If she hasn't, lets just say that it is awful and we get about 30 miles away within the first 2 hours when Madden has to stop to feed again. That's fine, I completely expected that we would be stopping frequently. I just thought that we would be past the outskirts of town.

Bill Bryson wrote a book about Australia, I have not read it yet but I understand that it is pretty good and the title is very appropriate….In a Sunburned Country. As most of you know we have had devastating fires here and driving through the countryside you can start to understand why. As we get past the outer ring of Melbourne the landscape looks like a tan sea. You can start to see it in the dry lawn at the end of a Minnesota summer, but it goes on as far as one can see and there has been very little watering for the last decade. Unfortunately this is where Madden started to projectile vomit. Egads

In short order we had to stop to mop everything up. Of course it can't be contained to just her. We have to take the car seat out and clean it and the back seat. This went on for what seemed like hours. I think that we were about 60 miles away from Melbourne now...just barely into a 10 hour trip. In the outback you have to take certain precautions that we are now quickly learning. Finding a tree that can provide shade is a good example, or when you make piles on the ground of the stuff that you have to clean you need to make certain that your child is not placed near one of the many gigantic anthills! I also just may invest in one of the stupid looking hats with corks dangling from the brim as this keeps the flies out of a persons eyes.

Through perseverance, patience, endurance, tolerance, persistence, fortitude, serenity, prayer, or whatever it was that got us through, we made it about ¾ 's of the way. However, ¾ 's of the way is on the edge of nowhere. Not a wide selection in motel's. Let us suffice to say that the Keith Motor Lodge does not rank in my top 10 places, and the attached sub par "restaurant" was the only place in the whole town to eat. I am thankful that we stopped though. When we pulled Madden out of her seat she was listless, gray, and her lips were blue. After a day of not keeping anything down she was terribly dehydrated. We called the local hospital to get some advice as to what we should do. We were reassured that we were doing the right thing but that if her symptoms persisted that we should bring her in. My understanding of fear has reached a new level.

After a really long night and subsequent long next day...we arrived in the Barossa and our holiday cottage. Madden was still vomiting but a bit pinker in color and we were so relieved to have her out of the car and be in the company of other people.

The cottage that we stayed in was really cool. It was a three bedroom place with walls that were sufficiently thick to isolate the couple without a child from the other two couples with children. Plus we got to go to some fun vineyards and drink some fantastic wine. We even signed up for a session where we could mix a Grenache, Shiraz, and Mourvedre, to our own special blend and bottle it. Part of the great fun of this was that it reminded Beth and me of being back at the U of M in chemistry lab. My blend is called Madden's Two Tooth Vintage, and Beth's is called Casa de Tjopert. In a blind taste test 3 out of 6 people picked mine to be the favorite. I am not sure how to feel about that. Am I proud that I can mix a good wine, or am I disturbed that my taste buds appeal to the masses.

Also in the blind taste test, Beth ranked her bottle to be the worst mix...even going so far as to label it "foul." Most everyone agreed that it was a bad blend. She blames it on almost a year of not drinking and I'll grant her that.

Penfolds is one of the more famous wineries in the Barossa valley. There are a lot of people milling about the tasting room and the occasional oddball is present as well. I was pushing Madden in her pram and as I turned a corner a man was standing there fussing with his belt. Before I know it his pants had fallen to the ground and he stood there fully exposed in the corridor. I am not sure what to think about it, was he exposing himself to me, the sleeping child, or was he just drunk? I am voting for option 3 that seems to be the least offensive of the three. I also object to black bikini underwear on short, portly men…..

Our other friends that we met up with are Tim and Natasha (She was actually named after the character on Bullwinkle. I am trying to get her to say "moose and squirrel" with a Russian accent.) They have a beautiful 2 year old named Celeste. Celeste has taken a liking to Madden and vice versa. Celeste pretended her water bottle was a phone and was heard saying "Hi Mads, hey you goin' Mads, g'day mate." Not only is it really cute that she did that, but a 2 year old Australian girl has given her a nickname that just may stick. Mads.

You would think that everything would now be on our side for the long drive home, but fate has its own agenda. On the morning that we were to leave the cottage, Beth and Madden both began vomiting. I was not about to give up on the thought that we could still take a leisurely route home and see some of the sights since we missed them on the drive out. Wouldn't everyone want to take a ferry out to a place called Kangaroo Island? This is where Beth put her foot down, no to an extra day on the road and a big fat no to a ferry!!!!! I still had dreams of the three of us playing in the sand and walking along the ocean. We didn't make it very far that first night and stayed in another bad motel with a sick mom and baby. I've had better road trips.

The next day, they were still both sick but we agreed to remedy this holiday and stay for the night in a cute little town called Port Fairy. The path from Port Fairy to Melbourne is a famous for scenery. It is called the Great Ocean Road. We have driven it several times and I wasn't too excited about driving it again but it was better than nothing. We checked in to a beautiful cottage and instead of going out to see the town, we bought a pizza and sat on the floor and played with Madden. We were all happy to be tucked in for the night and everyone was feeling better. It was a perfect evening.

The next morning was our day to drive the great ocean road and salvage what we could of the road trip portion of our vacation. But, the next morning - I was ill! I didn’t get the same stomach virus that the two ladies had but it totally wiped me out. Beth was feeling better and so could drive the rest of the way. It was a unanimous decision to skip the Great Ocean Road and take the most direct way home - through the same ugly sunburned landscape we had just driven.

We have wondered why people just plant themselves at resorts for an entire vacation, but now we get it. Road trips with an infant rarely work.

I wouldn't say that this is the worst road trip we have ever had, the car is still in one piece, but we did learn something from it.

Next time we fly.

Return from Hibernation

I apologize for not being attentive to our blog. Sometimes when there is too much to write, I’m unable to get anything down at all. Blame it on being too busy, blame it on the constant influx of new experiences and the lack of time to process it all, or blame in on the hazy time that is maternity leave. Now as things pick up with our return to AU and my return to work, I suddenly feel that urge to write. But where do I even begin? How can I convey what a whirlwind these last few months of new parenthood have been? The first time Eric and I laid eyes upon our little girl, the wonderment of her first coo and her first laugh, the joy of having her meet her grandparents and their joy in meeting her, the weird body changes, the trauma of labor and delivery, the insecurity, and emotional turmoil that goes along with having a baby… really, it’s all just so overwhelming!
Perhaps the best way to do this is just to type away and see where it takes me…

Minnesota
Our time in Minnesota was first and foremost COLD. It was one of the coldest January’s on record and after having missed an entire winter, we realized how intolerant of it we have become. Where was our thick Midwestern blood and our “It’s not that bad” attitude? Instead, Eric and I couldn’t believe the shock of the temperature on our bodies. To add insult to it all, we both suffered episodes of high-fever-absolute-knock-out winter flu that we thankfully didn’t pass on to our daughter.

Poor baby had to be bundled up in a bunny suit and hauled around in a car seat and a pre-heated car. Her entire head was one layer of eczema upon another. She learned to do “the arch” where her entire midsection would try and buck out of her car seat. This was usually accompanied by sputtering protests and eventual screaming.

The lesson learned is that newborns and winter are very confining. To all those who have experienced this for longer than the measly two months that I endured it…you have my complete sympathy. I get it and acknowledge the difficulty of it! For your struggles, I think you should all be allowed to spend the winter in Hawaii.

The good of the trip, was EVERYTHING else. We got to catch up with friends and family and had time for baby to charm the heck out of her grandparents. Christmas with a baby takes on a whole new meaning and I actually cried in church when I heard the story of Jesus’ birth. Yeah, I know, I’ve heard it a thousand times, but it was suddenly so real for me.

Madden’s grandparents all wanted to see her many times and I loved it when they held her and she smiled for them and cooed. Even better still was when she fell asleep in their arms. When my parents and my in-laws opened the door to their homes, their eyes would immediately look towards the car seat draped over Eric’s forearm. It was always an afterthought to hug and kiss us, their adult children. And you know what? We wouldn’t have had it any other way.

We stayed in Red Wing with Eric’s parents for Christmas and two other times but based ourselves mainly at my mom’s in St. Paul. Her place is a 1 ½ bedroom cottage for seniors. We had our fair share of attention having a baby around there. Space was at a premium in my mom’s little home but she was content to have us around and I haven’t spent that much time with her since I was in high school. I loved being in her pleasant company and she was so happy to have her grandbaby in the next room. I’m sure after TWO months of us however, she’s a bit relieved to have her place back to herself.

We anticipated that when we were home, we would go out with friends and shop and see movies… who were we kidding? We were still very much in new parent phase and mainly we just played with our little Madden. She was only seven weeks old when we went home and there was a great deal of growing both mentally and physically during that time. We were exhausted, I was still struggling with nursing, and we were trying to get baby to sleep when we slept. One would think that two whole months would give us a great deal of time, but the baby learning curve took up the majority of that. I managed to take in two movies and feel there should be some sort of reward for that –even if I cried throughout the first movie because of separation anxiety…

This winter brought new joy in simple things. Heck, we were just happy to make it out of the house! It was wonderful to see friends, play dominoes, go up north, have pictures of Madden taken, go to dinners in people’s homes and out, enjoy lazy breakfasts, play oodles of cards, play with friends kids, get lessons in Photoshop, or just meet for a coffee.

Life couldn’t be the crazy kind of cram-as-much-as-you-can-into-a-moment sort of existence that I tend to pursue. It all had to move slower as there were good hours and fussy hours, nap times, necessary nappy changes, and feeding schedules to manage. When I look at those words written out, it all seems so limiting. But strangely, it wasn’t. It was actually a bit freeing. Why is that? Nothing had to be perfect. Ahhh. That was it. It was finally a time where I could be forgiving of myself for not getting things done in an exacting way.

And yes, we enjoyed for the very first time some activities that requires one have a kid in order to participate. Hooray! We have both wanted to go to kid activities for years. These activities included Breakfast with Santa at my high school and attending the Red Balloon book reading for babies and toddlers. Admittedly, I got more out of the book reading than did Madden, but hey, I had a kid and could therefore not be turned away. Just think of all the years of children’s museums, silly little board games, county fairs, and Pixar films ahead of us. Tee Hee.

Australia
When we returned to Melbourne, it was hot. I’m not talking just Mexico-in-winter kind of hot…it was 100 degrees hot. We went from craving pot roast and potatoes to feasting on fruit and any beverage with ice. It actually felt wonderful to be able to open windows, to sit outside, and not to have to wear 5 layers of clothing nor bundle the baby. We went to the pool, took long walks in the evening, and generally enjoyed just being outside.
However, after just one week here, there was suddenly a heat surge to 115 degrees accompanied by gale force winds. Both natural causes as well as arsonists conspired to create one of the worst disasters in Victoria’s history. Over twenty bush fires raged out of control and the loss of human life is astonishing.

The message has always been the same for those living in the country side; you can flee early or stay in your home to defend it against the fire. It has actually been successful in the past and people have been able to save their homes. However, when you put together the terrible heat, dry brush due to a 10 year drought, and the strength of the wind that was present that day, the end result was raging fire tornadoes that destroyed everything in their path. No person defending their home with a garden hose stood a chance.
It was awful, stupid and senseless. The stories that are emerging are dreadful and the news has been running nightly disaster relief efforts and bushfire tragedy stories since that day. It’s impossible to escape.

One of our good friends here works at an agency that does mapping and disaster planning for emergency services. She has had to listen to the 000 (our 911) calls from the people trapped in their cars and home during the fires. When she talks about the tragedy, her reaction is one of anger.

From our vantage point in the city, we were in no danger. The fires that burned out of control for days remained at least a 30 minute drive from the city. However, the city remained smoky and smelling like a campfire. We chose to keep baby and ourselves inside when it was windy because the air quality outside was so bad. The only effect we witnessed was that dusk brought spectacular sunsets of beautiful oranges and reds that bounced off the smoke in the sky.

Beginning to emerge from all the rubble are stories of heroism and unlikely survival. A benefit concert has taken place and donations have been rolling in for the victims of the fires. Hope is infiltrating.

Well, that’s it for the time being. It’s back to work, back to life, and back to this foreign country we have embraced for now. Madden is in daycare a couple days a week, she’s busy growing, and just sprouted her first tooth. Eric is back looking for work and contented being a “manny” three days a week. He’s been attending meetings with the other stay at home mums and having a great time. I’m back to work part time for now and enjoying my days with my little family. My favorite times are when we head to the pool together.

It’s the lazy days of summer and I want them to go on indefinitely. Too bad winter and work will get in the way of our fun.

Parting the Clouds

Six weeks in.
Madden is starting to smile. I am looking forward to Christmas in Minnesota and I'm loving this invention called Maternity leave. My mom came to Australia and left again. It was great to have another set of arms to hold this little girl and jiggle her and settle her through some of that bad period. I would listen as my mom would talk with Madden about the weather, her future, her relatives, and on and on. It was so cute. Madden is a much more contented baby than she was just a few weeks back. She still returns to her feral state from time to time, but overall, life is SO MUCH BETTER.

At the end of my mom's visit, we even managed a three day trip to Tasmania. We took the overnight ferry accross the straight and Madden slept through. Now Eric wants to move to a houseboat!

I realize I never announced the winner of the due date guessing game... Christine Chovan was the closest with a vote that was just one day and one ounce off. Christine's guess was 30th/Girl/8lb, 6oz. An honorable mention goes to Amy Brenengen with a guess of the 30th/Girl/8 pounds 1 oz. Here is a photo of Christine, so that you can all look at her and say, "Congratulations, Good prediction Christine."

It took having a child to finally get around to it, but I did post a bunch of photos online. Pictures of our little girl, our wedding, and some of our travels around Australia can be viewed. The link is http://adventuresofeande.shutterfly.com/ and the password is Madden

(of course).

Wouldn't you like to be on a 14 hour flight seated next to us?

A solid month has gone by and I can't account for anything I've done. I've lived in baby world for the past four weeks. I birthed a baby, slept a little, and occassionally took a shower and fed myself. On the rare day that I decide to go somewhere, I can usually manage to get out the door by 3pm.

If you are one of the folks who has kindly emailed me, or tried to skype call me, I am getting them and I do appreciate it...but I can't seem to get ANYTHING done.























During the first week, I seemed to be able to do things, but for the past three weeks, we have been continually rocking and soothing a very unhappy little girl. Both baby and mom have been very weepy as a result. Finally, after a bit of trial and error, it seems that my child is allergic to whatever I'm eating as well as whatever formula has been given to her.

The diagnostic process has involved oodles of medication, formula, screaming, spitting up, pumping, lots of advice, herbal treatments, worry, frantic parents, lack of sleep, tears, reading of every child help book we can, and many doctors visits. Our sweet little girl can be so peaceful at rest and giggles and coos and squeeks...but when she starts to cramp up and arch, it's a long process to get things right again.
We are still experimenting, but it is SO time consuming. I can't feed her myself but want to keep up any supply I have and so I am pumping all the time. I feel like a cow. In the meantime, she is on this expensive formula that Eric and I refer to as liquid gold. It's the best solution so far until I can get her to stop rejecting me. Such emotion surrounds this!

Now I'm on some crazy diet that makes Weight Watchers seem easy.
The list of "can't have's" include all dairy products, soy, wheat, nuts, fish, and eggs.
If you are asking yourself, "Well, what can you eat." I would just like to say, "Amen to that."

Where is Mississippi Market when you need it?