Toddlerhood: A play in two parts
The Set: Posh neighborhood pharmacy
The actors: Heavily pregnant me, my squirmy independence–seeking toddler, sales person A, Sales person B, Other customer
ACT I:
The Setup: Madden and I enter pharmacy. Doors are propped open onto busy street.
Note to self: Madden likes to run, she will run in street if left on her own, I am not a fast runner these days, probably best to hold daughter tightly.
Sales people who are usually quick to offer help are busy chatting at counter with another customer. I seek out product on my own.
Action: Product is on glass shelf, Madden’s kicking legs not conducive to product retrieval from high shelf. In amount of time it takes me to get product, daughter has managed to grab two shampoo bottles, topple over a small display of makeup and has bolted with stolen shampoo towards the open door.
Action continues: Pregnant woman run/waddles to door and grabs shampoo stealing toddler. Toddler unhappy to be stopped begins protesting loudly. Door buzzer is activated as to signal customer is entering/exiting store. BZZZZ sound of buzzer as we stand in doorway trying to get ourselves sorted. Buzzer continues to go off incessantly as pregnant self scoops unhappy shampoo throwing daughter into arms. Retrieval of shampoo bottles that are now rolling down sidewalk ensues.
Action continues: Eventually things are returned to their place and desired product purchase is brought to counter. Daughter placed on counter while I try to get wallet from bag.
Customer B is being helped by makeup counter with Sales person B. They are doing their best to ignore the commotion.
Sales person A has been hiding in pharmacy area but appears at last to ring up my order.
Dialogue:
Sales person A; “Oh, I see that you are buying the Clarins product….blah, blah, blah….”
Madden: “Arrghhh, waahhh”
Sales person A: “Did you know that Clarins is running a special if you buy two products from their line, you get a FREE gift with purchase.”
Me: (thinking to myself) Well, it’s not really free if I have to buy two things to get it…but hey, I use this stuff so I’ll get two and get the ‘free’ item. “Yeah, OK, I’ll take two of this same product.”
Madden: Wiggling and now climbing off counter. Arm twisted. Protesting loudly.
Sales person A: “The free gift comes in three types – dry skin, normal skin, oily skin…”
Me: (thinking again). Oh, for crying out loud, just give me the damn ‘free’ gift. “Dry skin please, thank you.”
ACT II:
Action: Sales person A goes to retrieve ‘free’ gift while toddler wiggles free and again makes a line for the front door. I take off in pursuit but she deceptively darts down a different aisle where she throws herself onto a pile of cosmetic bags. Laughing hysterically, she grabs a bag and again rounds a bend toward the door. I intercept her with skill and precision in a mighty fine swoop and scoop that leaves her stunned and amazed by her big mommy’s fortitude. “Ah, hah” I give her a little tickle and we return to the counter.
Sales person A is now helping customer B. In fact, both sales people are now with customer B. Apparently there is a bit of drama about whether something comes in powder or liquid. Certainly this crisis of makeup is far more important than getting a frantic pregnant lady and her unhappy toddler out of the store.
We have approximately 3 minutes before Madden is going to go ballistic.
Countdown:
Minute 1, Sales people are still gathered for liquid vs. powder summit.
Minute 2, Sales person A sees me at counter and shows signs
of nervousness.
Minute 3, Sales person A breaks away to find “Dry skin” free gift.
(Me, thinking again: “WTF lady, get over here and finish this…don’t you see
we are approaching take off???!!!)
Minute 4, It is over. We have lost. There is no control. Screaming
is happening. Madden wants out. She demands freedom. Sales person is
too late. A monster has been created and there will be no containment.
Action:
I can’t hear myself. I have no idea what the total amount is. There is a receipt to sign and I manage something illegible. The sales person takes forever to verify my signature. This is ridiculous. Madden twists free of my hold and bolts again towards door and around pharmacy. Nothing is safe. The toothpaste aisle is freed from its precision stacking and the colgate is laid out without pattern upon the carpet. I try to contain and restack but cannot manage it all. Madden again captured and once again lifted and placed onto counter. Sales person looks irritated. I explain that if I put her down, she will bolt out door. Why are the doors open anyway???? Sales person again looks irritated and as I fumble around, she says kindly that she will watch Madden on the ground if I would like to put my things into my take away bag. (Clearly the counter is no place to set one’s child.)
Me: (thinking)You are ON lady. What, you don’t think my kid will run from you too? Ha! Just you wait and see.
Action continues:
I carefully place Madden on floor and begin to place my purchases into my diaper/handbag. Like the little bullet that she is, Madden takes off for another fun game of squealing and chasing. Sales person (in high heels) runs after her and fails to catch her. Madden does a full circle and ends up running wildly into the pharmacy back room. Sales person A is running about 10 feet behind her and clearly wishes she had just let me keep my kid on the counter. I have finished placing my purchases into my bag. Another customer appears near the register. Sales person A stops her pursuit and saunters up to thecounter to eagerly wait on other customer. She shrugs in my direction and I go behind the pharmacy counter to find my toddler gathering containers from shelf and beginning early career as a pharmacist.
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Platypus Diaries Part #4
This is the fourth entry in the diary of my pregnancy. Because it would amount to many pages of reading to cover September through to the present day in one post, I've broken this up into readable bits. Here is part four:
Platypus Diaries #4
September
Had my first OB appointment today. I’m feeling a bit better than last pregnancy and I attribute it to NOT taking the prenatal vitamins. My OB confirmed it…he said that they do indeed make pregnant women more nauseous but he doesn’t tell us that because he wants us to take them. I guess I just felt so lousy last time that I can’t bear the thought of taking them and feeling worse again. He asked if I could find it in my heart to take one every now and again. I’ll try.
Last pregnancy, Eric came to almost every (he missed just one) OB appointment with me. Naturally, the office staff asked where Eric was this time around. I was happy to report that he was home with our little girl. Then the OB expressed his disappointment in not seeing Eric. He wanted to know how he was, what he was doing, and if he would be at the next appointment. When I was leaving, he told me to make sure that I said hi to Eric for him. Then as I passed by the reception desk, the secretary asked me to bring Eric around next time.
Perhaps they wished that Eric was the pregnant one.
Eric. Eric. Eric.
Sheeesh.
P.S. Look who is ONE...
October 7
We went on the most beautiful and wonderful vacation with Madden and Eric’s parents.
The place was called Port Douglas and probably deserves an entry all on its own. The need for a vacation was SO GREAT. We haven’t had a real vacation in a long long time and it was so welcome. I thought a week would be long enough to get bored, but I could have swam in that pool and walked that beach for another week at least.
The only issue was a horrid rash that Madden developed over every square inch of her body. We first noticed it on the plane ride and then watched it get worse and worse over the next few days. When it covered her face and hands, we finally decided we should probably take her to the local doctor. She didn’t have any other symptoms…no complaining, no fever, and no restlessness. She isn’t much of a complainer anyway, but she wasn’t even attempting to scratch these bumps.
When we showed her to the doctor, his reaction was much bigger than we expected. It sort of made us feel like crap parents.
We were just hoping he would ease our fears a bit. He said he couldn’t really do that, because it was a bad rash and he really had no idea what it was. He gave us an Rx for an antibiotic and told us to wash her with this antibacterial stuff 2 to 3 times a day.
That was it.
We washed and washed her. She had the rash the whole week and then some but she never complained. Although she looked terrible, she still acted like the happy baby that she is.
October 8
Eric’s folks babysat Madden and we were sent out on a mission to buy Prawns. Since we had seen people buying bags of them directly from the boats in the harbor, we headed down that way.
Standing on the dock of the marina in Port Douglas, we saw a family walking towards us. Well, the parents were walking and the kids were being dragged. One wanted to run and the other was having a meltdown.
We stood in silence and watched as they ambled down the dock, passed us by with kids getting louder and louder, and eventually could be heard screaming their way out into the parking lot.
After a long while, this was our conversation.
Me: “I’m scared.”
Eric: “Uh huh”
(long pause)
“Me too.”
Me: “We may have some challenging years ahead.”
Eric: (long silence)
Me: “Don’t leave me.”
Eric: (longer silence still)
“I’m in if you’re in.”
October 15, 2009
Received a disturbing email (again!) from daycare. This time, kids are coming down with Fifth’s Disease , otherwise known as Slapped Cheek Syndrome. That sounds like a joke and I seriously never knew there were so many illnesses kids can contract.
Daycare = Germ Factory
The illness causes a rash all over the body and doesn’t really have any other symptoms but can be very harmful to the fetus of pregnant women in the first trimester.
We looked it up on Wikipedia. The picture of the kid in the photo looked just like Madden did when she had her rash in Port Douglas. Without a doubt, she had that illness.
I tried to be calm. Eric tried to be calm.
But for the first time in this less emotional pregnancy, I couldn’t stop the tears from flowing. I cried and cried.
I went off and got the appropriate blood tests straight away. We should know this week if I’m immune to this disease. If I am, it means my baby can’t be affected. If I don’t have immunity, I’ll need to go in for more tests and some extra ultrasounds to monitor the heart function of the baby.
November 2, 2009
I’m immune. I’m immune. RELIEF.
Platypus Diaries #4
September
Had my first OB appointment today. I’m feeling a bit better than last pregnancy and I attribute it to NOT taking the prenatal vitamins. My OB confirmed it…he said that they do indeed make pregnant women more nauseous but he doesn’t tell us that because he wants us to take them. I guess I just felt so lousy last time that I can’t bear the thought of taking them and feeling worse again. He asked if I could find it in my heart to take one every now and again. I’ll try.
Last pregnancy, Eric came to almost every (he missed just one) OB appointment with me. Naturally, the office staff asked where Eric was this time around. I was happy to report that he was home with our little girl. Then the OB expressed his disappointment in not seeing Eric. He wanted to know how he was, what he was doing, and if he would be at the next appointment. When I was leaving, he told me to make sure that I said hi to Eric for him. Then as I passed by the reception desk, the secretary asked me to bring Eric around next time.
Perhaps they wished that Eric was the pregnant one.
Eric. Eric. Eric.
Sheeesh.
P.S. Look who is ONE...
October 7
We went on the most beautiful and wonderful vacation with Madden and Eric’s parents.
The place was called Port Douglas and probably deserves an entry all on its own. The need for a vacation was SO GREAT. We haven’t had a real vacation in a long long time and it was so welcome. I thought a week would be long enough to get bored, but I could have swam in that pool and walked that beach for another week at least.
The only issue was a horrid rash that Madden developed over every square inch of her body. We first noticed it on the plane ride and then watched it get worse and worse over the next few days. When it covered her face and hands, we finally decided we should probably take her to the local doctor. She didn’t have any other symptoms…no complaining, no fever, and no restlessness. She isn’t much of a complainer anyway, but she wasn’t even attempting to scratch these bumps.
When we showed her to the doctor, his reaction was much bigger than we expected. It sort of made us feel like crap parents.
We were just hoping he would ease our fears a bit. He said he couldn’t really do that, because it was a bad rash and he really had no idea what it was. He gave us an Rx for an antibiotic and told us to wash her with this antibacterial stuff 2 to 3 times a day. That was it.
We washed and washed her. She had the rash the whole week and then some but she never complained. Although she looked terrible, she still acted like the happy baby that she is.
October 8
Eric’s folks babysat Madden and we were sent out on a mission to buy Prawns. Since we had seen people buying bags of them directly from the boats in the harbor, we headed down that way.
Standing on the dock of the marina in Port Douglas, we saw a family walking towards us. Well, the parents were walking and the kids were being dragged. One wanted to run and the other was having a meltdown.
We stood in silence and watched as they ambled down the dock, passed us by with kids getting louder and louder, and eventually could be heard screaming their way out into the parking lot.
After a long while, this was our conversation.
Me: “I’m scared.”
Eric: “Uh huh”
(long pause)
“Me too.”
Me: “We may have some challenging years ahead.”
Eric: (long silence)
Me: “Don’t leave me.”
Eric: (longer silence still)
“I’m in if you’re in.”
October 15, 2009
Received a disturbing email (again!) from daycare. This time, kids are coming down with Fifth’s Disease , otherwise known as Slapped Cheek Syndrome. That sounds like a joke and I seriously never knew there were so many illnesses kids can contract.
Daycare = Germ Factory
The illness causes a rash all over the body and doesn’t really have any other symptoms but can be very harmful to the fetus of pregnant women in the first trimester.
We looked it up on Wikipedia. The picture of the kid in the photo looked just like Madden did when she had her rash in Port Douglas. Without a doubt, she had that illness.
I tried to be calm. Eric tried to be calm.
But for the first time in this less emotional pregnancy, I couldn’t stop the tears from flowing. I cried and cried.
I went off and got the appropriate blood tests straight away. We should know this week if I’m immune to this disease. If I am, it means my baby can’t be affected. If I don’t have immunity, I’ll need to go in for more tests and some extra ultrasounds to monitor the heart function of the baby.
November 2, 2009
I’m immune. I’m immune. RELIEF.
Monday, April 12, 2010
Platypus Diaries Part #3
This is the third entry in the catch up of the Platypus Diaries (the diary of my second pregnancy). Because it would amount to many pages of reading to cover September through to the present day in one post, I've broken this up into readable bits. Here is part three:
Platypus Diaries #3
Sept 23
Last years due date. I was huge. I was scared. I thought I was carrying a little boy. I was not one of those cute little pregnant things where people commented on my ‘adorable’ little belly. I made a thunderous sound when I walked. My arches were hurting in my feet. Walking up a small hill or flight of stairs felt every bit as difficult as hiking in the mountains. I had to pee every 10 minutes. My face was puffy. I cried a lot at my own misery. I was uncomfortable. I felt ugly. I had dark pregnancy related blotches on my face. I craved ice cream and nothing else. In many ways I was glad that my hideousness was being hidden from those I knew in Minnesota.
On this date last year, I still had 8 days to go. Thank goodness I didn’t know that at the time.
**********
This morning we did the long drive out to the airport to welcome the arrival of Eric’s parents. I took the day off work and we were all excited to greet them. Their flight arrived but they didn’t appear. An hour went by and flights from other countries came in. People funneled out to greet their families but there was no sign of the parents Tjossem. Time passed but they just didn’t appear. Eventually we gave up and headed home to see if we could get a bit more information. It turns out they missed their flight in LA sometime yesterday.
September 24, 2009
The grandparents have arrived in Melbourne! Eric and Madden picked them up at the airport this morning and I’m sure that was really fun for all involved. I haven’t seen them yet, but I know they are all here and relaxing at our apartment. I’ll be racing home as soon as work is finished.
Sept 25
My mom sent an email to Madden asking her how she was enjoying her Grandparents – live and in person – rather than via Skype.
This is Madden’s reply:
Dear Grandma Namesake,
The other Skype grandparents came out of the computer and are here in our apartment.
Guess what?...They have legs!
I was afraid of them to start with and only wanted to cling to my daddy at the airport. But Daddy and Mummy seemed happy to see these Skype people and so I decided to warm up as well.
They seem OK to me now. Especially the bald one as he gave me cookies.
I now know that my mummy and daddy have been holding out on me. They actually used to make me think that bread and peas were treats! I'm onto them now.
The Grandma here reads to me and cuddles me. I keep looking at her and almost going to her, but turn around and dive into my mummies lap instead. Maybe if grandma had cookies...
I played so hard yesterday that I was exhausted and had to go to sleep a bit early. I was eager to get up this morning and since I'm now sharing a room with Mummy and Daddy, they can't get away or hide from me. I know they are out there. I can see them when I look over the top of my crib. Mummy says, '5 more minutes Madden" and Daddy says something about it being before 6AM. I don't think they hear me, so I speak up and start chanting "dadadada" quite loudly. Mummy usually says something about my sibling and needing sleep and so dada gets me out of my cot and we go play in the living room. He lies on the couch and I play with toys until he finally sees how much fun I'm having and joins me.
The Skype grandparents brought all kinds of new clothes that mommy ordered online for daddy and me. Today I wore four different outfits from them. Apparently I need a lot of changing because I get them dirty and stinky and because I drool a lot. They also brought mummy some maternity clothing and some chocolates and her favorite American toothpaste.
There was talk of babies this morning and lots of hugging and happy Skype grandparents. Grandma Skype said that she was eager to talk with you. I don't know what this means for me, but I'll be happy about it as long as I don't have to share my toys or my mummy or daddy.
I love you Grandma and can't wait to see you at Christmas,
Madden
Sept 27
When I was pregnant with Madden, my workplace sent me an aussie comedic pregnancy book called “Up the Duff”. Up the Duff is the Aussie equivalent of “Knocked’ Up” although somewhat more crude. Anyway, it’s quite funny and took a look at it to see what the baby is up to at this point. The baby is about 1 inch long; it is getting little ears and has tiny little fingers and toes. However, the book did say it’s a bit too early to play “This little Piggy went to Market” unless I want to change the words to “This little Webby thing went to Market”.
Sept 29
I got invited to a dual 40th birthday party for our friends Chuck and Christine. I replied to the evite in the “out of town” section, wished them each a happy birthday, and then began to think about those little and big events we have missed over the past two years.
I realized I’m lonely. This happened to me last time during the 1st trimester. I didn’t know if it was because we were living abroad, or due to some crazy hormonal reason.
But here it is again.
I’m lonely. I’m terribly homesick. I miss my friends. I miss my family. I miss my house. I miss the lack of traffic. I miss normal size houses without walls around them. I miss front yards. I miss having an upstairs. I miss watering the garden. I miss having people over. I miss the north shore and the cabin. I even miss my dog Tofte who died almost 3 years ago. I miss my neighbors. I miss the park down the street. I miss walking the alleyways. I miss having a garage that was big enough to park in AND open the car doors. I miss people dropping by. I miss the little ice dispenser on the refrigerator. I miss the local coffee shop even though I now realize the java they brew is really bad. I miss my pottery studio. I miss being invited to random events. I miss autumn colors. I miss my old gym. I miss cycling down summit and the river road. I miss. Yes, I just miss.
Platypus Diaries #3
Sept 23
Last years due date. I was huge. I was scared. I thought I was carrying a little boy. I was not one of those cute little pregnant things where people commented on my ‘adorable’ little belly. I made a thunderous sound when I walked. My arches were hurting in my feet. Walking up a small hill or flight of stairs felt every bit as difficult as hiking in the mountains. I had to pee every 10 minutes. My face was puffy. I cried a lot at my own misery. I was uncomfortable. I felt ugly. I had dark pregnancy related blotches on my face. I craved ice cream and nothing else. In many ways I was glad that my hideousness was being hidden from those I knew in Minnesota.
On this date last year, I still had 8 days to go. Thank goodness I didn’t know that at the time.
**********
This morning we did the long drive out to the airport to welcome the arrival of Eric’s parents. I took the day off work and we were all excited to greet them. Their flight arrived but they didn’t appear. An hour went by and flights from other countries came in. People funneled out to greet their families but there was no sign of the parents Tjossem. Time passed but they just didn’t appear. Eventually we gave up and headed home to see if we could get a bit more information. It turns out they missed their flight in LA sometime yesterday.
September 24, 2009
The grandparents have arrived in Melbourne! Eric and Madden picked them up at the airport this morning and I’m sure that was really fun for all involved. I haven’t seen them yet, but I know they are all here and relaxing at our apartment. I’ll be racing home as soon as work is finished.
Sept 25
My mom sent an email to Madden asking her how she was enjoying her Grandparents – live and in person – rather than via Skype.
This is Madden’s reply:
Dear Grandma Namesake,
The other Skype grandparents came out of the computer and are here in our apartment.
Guess what?...They have legs!
I was afraid of them to start with and only wanted to cling to my daddy at the airport. But Daddy and Mummy seemed happy to see these Skype people and so I decided to warm up as well.
They seem OK to me now. Especially the bald one as he gave me cookies.
I now know that my mummy and daddy have been holding out on me. They actually used to make me think that bread and peas were treats! I'm onto them now.
The Grandma here reads to me and cuddles me. I keep looking at her and almost going to her, but turn around and dive into my mummies lap instead. Maybe if grandma had cookies...
I played so hard yesterday that I was exhausted and had to go to sleep a bit early. I was eager to get up this morning and since I'm now sharing a room with Mummy and Daddy, they can't get away or hide from me. I know they are out there. I can see them when I look over the top of my crib. Mummy says, '5 more minutes Madden" and Daddy says something about it being before 6AM. I don't think they hear me, so I speak up and start chanting "dadadada" quite loudly. Mummy usually says something about my sibling and needing sleep and so dada gets me out of my cot and we go play in the living room. He lies on the couch and I play with toys until he finally sees how much fun I'm having and joins me.
The Skype grandparents brought all kinds of new clothes that mommy ordered online for daddy and me. Today I wore four different outfits from them. Apparently I need a lot of changing because I get them dirty and stinky and because I drool a lot. They also brought mummy some maternity clothing and some chocolates and her favorite American toothpaste.
There was talk of babies this morning and lots of hugging and happy Skype grandparents. Grandma Skype said that she was eager to talk with you. I don't know what this means for me, but I'll be happy about it as long as I don't have to share my toys or my mummy or daddy.
I love you Grandma and can't wait to see you at Christmas,
Madden
Sept 27
When I was pregnant with Madden, my workplace sent me an aussie comedic pregnancy book called “Up the Duff”. Up the Duff is the Aussie equivalent of “Knocked’ Up” although somewhat more crude. Anyway, it’s quite funny and took a look at it to see what the baby is up to at this point. The baby is about 1 inch long; it is getting little ears and has tiny little fingers and toes. However, the book did say it’s a bit too early to play “This little Piggy went to Market” unless I want to change the words to “This little Webby thing went to Market”.
Sept 29
I got invited to a dual 40th birthday party for our friends Chuck and Christine. I replied to the evite in the “out of town” section, wished them each a happy birthday, and then began to think about those little and big events we have missed over the past two years.
I realized I’m lonely. This happened to me last time during the 1st trimester. I didn’t know if it was because we were living abroad, or due to some crazy hormonal reason.
But here it is again.
I’m lonely. I’m terribly homesick. I miss my friends. I miss my family. I miss my house. I miss the lack of traffic. I miss normal size houses without walls around them. I miss front yards. I miss having an upstairs. I miss watering the garden. I miss having people over. I miss the north shore and the cabin. I even miss my dog Tofte who died almost 3 years ago. I miss my neighbors. I miss the park down the street. I miss walking the alleyways. I miss having a garage that was big enough to park in AND open the car doors. I miss people dropping by. I miss the little ice dispenser on the refrigerator. I miss the local coffee shop even though I now realize the java they brew is really bad. I miss my pottery studio. I miss being invited to random events. I miss autumn colors. I miss my old gym. I miss cycling down summit and the river road. I miss. Yes, I just miss.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
The Mighty Toddler
About a week ago, we bought a book titled, “The Mighty Toddler.” It’s fantastic, and one of our favorite parts of the book is the poem on its opening page. I’ll share that with you in a moment.
My mother likes to ask me what I have been reading lately. I usually reply with, “Who has time to read?” She will send me recommendations or the occasional book or short story. I’ve felt a bit bad that I haven’t taken the time to read a novel. However, when I was thinking about it a bit deeper, I realize I’ve probably done more reading this past year than I have in years past. No, it’s not novels that I’ve been interested in, but I have read several baby books from cover to cover and countless blogs and advice columns on how to handle traveling with a baby, living abroad, and the Australian medical system. The titles may not be all that interesting, but it is what I am compelled to read and re-read.
On my bedside table rest four books – “Saving Fish from Drowning” by Amy Tan, “The Baby Name Wizard,” “The Mighty Toddler” and “What to expect when you’re expecting.”
The only ‘bookish’ one, the novel by Amy Tan, resides on the bottom of the pile. The “What to Expect” book serves as sort of a reference and I don’t pour over it like I did when pregnant the first time. However, “The Mighty Toddler” is as filled with as many juicy tidbits as 1000 people magazines. I find that I’m enthralled, riveted, laughing out loud and reading entire paragraphs to Eric in a “You’ve GOT to hear this…” sort of voice.
In time I will get back to reading novels and filling my mind with other bits of learning – but for right now – I’m good with the material on hand.
I didn’t forget that I promised you a poem. Before I write it out and you wonder why it was so gripping to both Eric and myself, I’ll offer a bit of explanation. Becoming parents later in life than most of our friends and siblings has led us to take their advice. “Savor these years,” everyone had told us. We love being a mom and dad to our little toddler and we love the hugs, the smiles and even the protests and whines. The poem at the beginning of the book reads like it was written by a friend – it is telling us to savor the moments before they become memories. So, here we are, in the NOW and reading a poem that keenly remembers what we are currently experiencing;
You used to lean
On that cot rail
And wait
With the vigor of a flame
To leap into my arms
Two feet tall and two years old
A sagging nappy
Archless feet soft as cats’ tongues
And trodden underneath
A thick and clammy waterproof
Warm from sleep
The sheet ruched at the end
Toys heaped confused
Neglected as the dead
A duck stuck in the corner
I could see the basket of your ribs
Your hands were opened
And all your bones and life
Leapt up to mine.
By Kate Llewelyn , “The Flames”
My mother likes to ask me what I have been reading lately. I usually reply with, “Who has time to read?” She will send me recommendations or the occasional book or short story. I’ve felt a bit bad that I haven’t taken the time to read a novel. However, when I was thinking about it a bit deeper, I realize I’ve probably done more reading this past year than I have in years past. No, it’s not novels that I’ve been interested in, but I have read several baby books from cover to cover and countless blogs and advice columns on how to handle traveling with a baby, living abroad, and the Australian medical system. The titles may not be all that interesting, but it is what I am compelled to read and re-read.
On my bedside table rest four books – “Saving Fish from Drowning” by Amy Tan, “The Baby Name Wizard,” “The Mighty Toddler” and “What to expect when you’re expecting.”
The only ‘bookish’ one, the novel by Amy Tan, resides on the bottom of the pile. The “What to Expect” book serves as sort of a reference and I don’t pour over it like I did when pregnant the first time. However, “The Mighty Toddler” is as filled with as many juicy tidbits as 1000 people magazines. I find that I’m enthralled, riveted, laughing out loud and reading entire paragraphs to Eric in a “You’ve GOT to hear this…” sort of voice.
In time I will get back to reading novels and filling my mind with other bits of learning – but for right now – I’m good with the material on hand.
I didn’t forget that I promised you a poem. Before I write it out and you wonder why it was so gripping to both Eric and myself, I’ll offer a bit of explanation. Becoming parents later in life than most of our friends and siblings has led us to take their advice. “Savor these years,” everyone had told us. We love being a mom and dad to our little toddler and we love the hugs, the smiles and even the protests and whines. The poem at the beginning of the book reads like it was written by a friend – it is telling us to savor the moments before they become memories. So, here we are, in the NOW and reading a poem that keenly remembers what we are currently experiencing;
You used to lean
On that cot rail
And wait
With the vigor of a flame
To leap into my arms
Two feet tall and two years old
A sagging nappy
Archless feet soft as cats’ tongues
And trodden underneath
A thick and clammy waterproof
Warm from sleep
The sheet ruched at the end
Toys heaped confused
Neglected as the dead
A duck stuck in the corner
I could see the basket of your ribs
Your hands were opened
And all your bones and life
Leapt up to mine.
By Kate Llewelyn , “The Flames”
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Platypus Diaries continue... (#2)
Thank you to those of you who offered encouragement and positive responses to Mondays entry. It does mean a lot to me that I could go ahead and publish a post that I've felt insecure about and then get so much support for my anxieties. Whether you responded in a comment or an email, I'm happy to know that I'm not alone in my feelings. Apparently the fear of how to handle two kids is very natural.
So, in my continued effort to stop hiding out, this is the second in the catch up of the Platypus Diaries (the diary of my second pregnancy). Because it would amount to many pages of reading to cover September through to the present day in one post, I've broken this up into readable bits. Here is part two:
***
September 12
You would think we’d have had it all planned. Yup, it all worked so easily the first time, we should have known, correct?
Well, the truth is I know that my own mom had a hard time falling pregnant with me and I also know that secondary infertility is higher than primary infertility.
This is where science has done me wrong.
We thought we should perhaps try now because we thought it would take longer than it did.
We were surprised.
Eric, of course, feels like a man among men, but his glorious pride in his sheer maleness is a little bit tempered by the “two kids under two” reality check.
Besides, I think he was hoping for months of shagging before anything really happened.
Sorry, Eric, your work is done.
Sept 17
Sweet fetish is back. While Eric paid for the groceries, I had to go back and stare at the pies in the frozen food section. I told him I just wanted to visit them. I didn’t want to eat them; I really did just want to look at them.
Sept 18
My nephew Michael was born this day, 25 years ago. I was 15 years old and brought my schoolbooks to the hospital to study while waiting for his birth. I was in the 10th grade. I can’t believe all that time has passed. I remember all his little kid years so vividly and then it’s like a blur from when he turned 10 until now. I still expect to see him as a little boy. I have two nephews and two nieces. In my mind they are still little kids and I know them well. In reality, I see their photos on face book – my oldest nephew working and married, my niece in college, my younger nephew a soldier in the middle east, and the little baby niece is now in her final years of high school. I knew them better as kids but those were the years when aunties were cool. Mommy’s and Daddy’s and Grandma’s and Grandpa’s were cool during those years too. I miss having them run to me and hug my legs with all their might. Are they really these adults that I see on face book now?
My mom used to tell me that she missed “her little girls”, meaning my sister and me as children. I understand that now.
Sept 19
I forgot how specific the cravings were. Today I wanted olive bread with Hellman’s mayonnaise, cheddar cheese and tomato. Yesterday I wanted a cherry lattice Danish with cream cheese. Problem is, these are things you can only get in America. We don’t have Hellman’s here and I’ve never seen a cherry lattice Danish here either. I’ll need to program myself to crave Vegemite and meat pies.
Sept 20
Last year at this time I was great with child and hoping I would deliver early.
I’m about to have a one year old and go through the whole preggy thing again. Can I just say that I’m not ready to go through all the pregnant part again? It’s too vivid – those late months where I was the size of a whale and up all night tossing and turning. Labor and delivery is still burned into my memory and hasn’t diminished in the slightest. How can a person forget pain that made them think they were going to split in two?
Oh, I’m complaining. It’s just that I feel really unwell these days. The waves of nausea, the putrid smell of meat, the aroma of coffee that makes my stomach heave. The constant need to use the toilet plagues me both day and night. And the exhaustion! How is it possible to be this tired ALL THE TIME????
I’ve been working like a mad woman lately. Two weekends in a row, four long and late days last week that started early and went past seven PM. I got home just in time to kiss my baby and whisk her off to bed. That makes me sad. The weekend arrived and all I want to do is sleep. Today I got up early with Madz and let Eric sleep in. Then when he woke, I went down for a two hour nap. Then this afternoon I took another two hour nap.
In between those naps, I lay on the couch or played on the floor with Madden. It’s 9:00 PM and after this entry, I am heading off to bed yet again.
Is this normal?
And the dreams! Wow. They are like movies…bright, emotional, epic, and odd.
There is one where I am in a car with Bonnie and Clyde and we are remaking the movie and another where I’m driving my new speedboat across Lake Superior when I discover that it has an entire underground warehouse complete with kitchen and underwater deck.
Sept 22
She is walking. This weekend Madden started with 4 or 5 steps and a fall, then 4 or 5 and a fall again. Now she’s walking around with a little push cart and holding on to a finger and walking all across the apartment. She is SO PROUD of herself and seems so happy to have that independence. Your mama and dada are proud of you too.
Madden, do you think you’ll be up for babysitting in about 8 months time? We will pay well…
So, in my continued effort to stop hiding out, this is the second in the catch up of the Platypus Diaries (the diary of my second pregnancy). Because it would amount to many pages of reading to cover September through to the present day in one post, I've broken this up into readable bits. Here is part two:
***
September 12
You would think we’d have had it all planned. Yup, it all worked so easily the first time, we should have known, correct?
Well, the truth is I know that my own mom had a hard time falling pregnant with me and I also know that secondary infertility is higher than primary infertility.
This is where science has done me wrong.
We thought we should perhaps try now because we thought it would take longer than it did.
We were surprised.
Eric, of course, feels like a man among men, but his glorious pride in his sheer maleness is a little bit tempered by the “two kids under two” reality check.
Besides, I think he was hoping for months of shagging before anything really happened.
Sorry, Eric, your work is done.
Sept 17
Sweet fetish is back. While Eric paid for the groceries, I had to go back and stare at the pies in the frozen food section. I told him I just wanted to visit them. I didn’t want to eat them; I really did just want to look at them.
Sept 18
My nephew Michael was born this day, 25 years ago. I was 15 years old and brought my schoolbooks to the hospital to study while waiting for his birth. I was in the 10th grade. I can’t believe all that time has passed. I remember all his little kid years so vividly and then it’s like a blur from when he turned 10 until now. I still expect to see him as a little boy. I have two nephews and two nieces. In my mind they are still little kids and I know them well. In reality, I see their photos on face book – my oldest nephew working and married, my niece in college, my younger nephew a soldier in the middle east, and the little baby niece is now in her final years of high school. I knew them better as kids but those were the years when aunties were cool. Mommy’s and Daddy’s and Grandma’s and Grandpa’s were cool during those years too. I miss having them run to me and hug my legs with all their might. Are they really these adults that I see on face book now?
My mom used to tell me that she missed “her little girls”, meaning my sister and me as children. I understand that now.
Sept 19
I forgot how specific the cravings were. Today I wanted olive bread with Hellman’s mayonnaise, cheddar cheese and tomato. Yesterday I wanted a cherry lattice Danish with cream cheese. Problem is, these are things you can only get in America. We don’t have Hellman’s here and I’ve never seen a cherry lattice Danish here either. I’ll need to program myself to crave Vegemite and meat pies.
Sept 20
Last year at this time I was great with child and hoping I would deliver early.
I’m about to have a one year old and go through the whole preggy thing again. Can I just say that I’m not ready to go through all the pregnant part again? It’s too vivid – those late months where I was the size of a whale and up all night tossing and turning. Labor and delivery is still burned into my memory and hasn’t diminished in the slightest. How can a person forget pain that made them think they were going to split in two?
Oh, I’m complaining. It’s just that I feel really unwell these days. The waves of nausea, the putrid smell of meat, the aroma of coffee that makes my stomach heave. The constant need to use the toilet plagues me both day and night. And the exhaustion! How is it possible to be this tired ALL THE TIME????
I’ve been working like a mad woman lately. Two weekends in a row, four long and late days last week that started early and went past seven PM. I got home just in time to kiss my baby and whisk her off to bed. That makes me sad. The weekend arrived and all I want to do is sleep. Today I got up early with Madz and let Eric sleep in. Then when he woke, I went down for a two hour nap. Then this afternoon I took another two hour nap.
In between those naps, I lay on the couch or played on the floor with Madden. It’s 9:00 PM and after this entry, I am heading off to bed yet again.
Is this normal?
And the dreams! Wow. They are like movies…bright, emotional, epic, and odd.
There is one where I am in a car with Bonnie and Clyde and we are remaking the movie and another where I’m driving my new speedboat across Lake Superior when I discover that it has an entire underground warehouse complete with kitchen and underwater deck.
Sept 22
She is walking. This weekend Madden started with 4 or 5 steps and a fall, then 4 or 5 and a fall again. Now she’s walking around with a little push cart and holding on to a finger and walking all across the apartment. She is SO PROUD of herself and seems so happy to have that independence. Your mama and dada are proud of you too.
Madden, do you think you’ll be up for babysitting in about 8 months time? We will pay well…
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Platypus Diaries Begin
The first matter of business is to apologize for not outing my pregnancy a bit sooner on the blog. There were two main reasons I didn’t just publish the news: I wanted to tell people in person when I was home for Christmas in Minnesota, and I have a couple very good friends that are having difficulties falling pregnant. I just wanted to tell them first and the thought of them finding out by reading it on a blog seemed a bit insensitive.
Then, time got away.
When I was pregnant with Madden, I kept a somewhat daily diary. I did the same thing this time around only I didn’t publish it to the blog. When we returned to Melbourne in January, it suddenly seemed like I’d been pregnant forever and I wasn’t sure about publishing my thoughts about those early days. Besides, when I read over the entries I realize that my fears and morning sickness coupled together to form some fairly negative reading.
I’ve changed my mind about publishing. What changed? Well, I read another blog and there was one particularly compelling entry about striving for perfection. It was written by a woman who takes blogging very seriously and often suffers writers block. She wrote a wonderfully personal and confessional entry about her need to get things right and how sometimes it’s in letting loose that she truly finds herself.
So, I’m feeling inspired. Yes, my entries were somewhat negative in the beginning. But, I wrote them and it was how I was feeling at the time. I shall not hide.
Madden’s diary was named “Tadpole Diaries” because we didn’t have a name and because she actually looked more like a tadpole than a baby on her first ultrasound.
This one is titled “Platypus Diaries” because even though this baby looked just like his or her sister (a tadpole) we had to add a bit of Australian flair to the name.
By the way, we’ve taken to calling the baby inside “Platy” for short.
So, over the next few weeks, I’ll catch up from September and fill you all in on this next big thing in our lives.
Here it goes….
Platypus Diaries #1
September 1, 2009
Shall we talk double strollers?
In May of 2010, we will be a family of four.
September 3, 2009
I’m waiting to tell Eric on Australian Fathers Day. That’s three whole days away.
I wanted to tell someone, so I took Madden in the other room and told her. She just wanted to play with her toys. I tried to look her in the eyes and get her to listen, but she just poked me in the mouth and giggled. It wasn’t very satisfying but at least I got to utter the words out loud to another person.
September 7, 2009
Eric is in the know! His reaction was one of surprise, excitement, and ….silence. I think we both feel a bit the same way. We are pleased and happy, but didn’t really expect it this soon and we face the reality of two kids just 19 months apart, life in a foreign country, unpaid maternity leave, him with no job, and renters that may or may not stay in our home in the states. Thoughts turn to wondering about when we should go home/how to do this/how to take two kids under two on a plane/how to find a job in the US when I’m great with child//how to pack a family of four into a two bedroom apartment here in Melbourne/how to do it all with no family around/where to bring Madden when I go into the hospital/and eee gad what next???
It’s all a bit overwhelming.
I know that things will come together in the end. But how? Seriously, how? I try to imagine where we will be and what job I will be doing and how we are going to get back to the states and if Eric will find suitable employment and how much time I should take off and how am I going to balance work, pregnancy, Madden and all, and I want to stick my head in the ground for the next 9 months and possibly longer.
Like I said…It’s wonderful and we want another child and I’m not getting any younger so there is no time like the present but how do we do all this and plan our futures and not get all worked up and not be consumed with worry and fret and how do we manage it without having our heads explode?
Then, time got away.
When I was pregnant with Madden, I kept a somewhat daily diary. I did the same thing this time around only I didn’t publish it to the blog. When we returned to Melbourne in January, it suddenly seemed like I’d been pregnant forever and I wasn’t sure about publishing my thoughts about those early days. Besides, when I read over the entries I realize that my fears and morning sickness coupled together to form some fairly negative reading.
I’ve changed my mind about publishing. What changed? Well, I read another blog and there was one particularly compelling entry about striving for perfection. It was written by a woman who takes blogging very seriously and often suffers writers block. She wrote a wonderfully personal and confessional entry about her need to get things right and how sometimes it’s in letting loose that she truly finds herself.
So, I’m feeling inspired. Yes, my entries were somewhat negative in the beginning. But, I wrote them and it was how I was feeling at the time. I shall not hide.
Madden’s diary was named “Tadpole Diaries” because we didn’t have a name and because she actually looked more like a tadpole than a baby on her first ultrasound.
This one is titled “Platypus Diaries” because even though this baby looked just like his or her sister (a tadpole) we had to add a bit of Australian flair to the name.
By the way, we’ve taken to calling the baby inside “Platy” for short.
So, over the next few weeks, I’ll catch up from September and fill you all in on this next big thing in our lives.
Here it goes….
Platypus Diaries #1
September 1, 2009
Shall we talk double strollers?
In May of 2010, we will be a family of four.
September 3, 2009
I’m waiting to tell Eric on Australian Fathers Day. That’s three whole days away.
I wanted to tell someone, so I took Madden in the other room and told her. She just wanted to play with her toys. I tried to look her in the eyes and get her to listen, but she just poked me in the mouth and giggled. It wasn’t very satisfying but at least I got to utter the words out loud to another person.
September 7, 2009
Eric is in the know! His reaction was one of surprise, excitement, and ….silence. I think we both feel a bit the same way. We are pleased and happy, but didn’t really expect it this soon and we face the reality of two kids just 19 months apart, life in a foreign country, unpaid maternity leave, him with no job, and renters that may or may not stay in our home in the states. Thoughts turn to wondering about when we should go home/how to do this/how to take two kids under two on a plane/how to find a job in the US when I’m great with child//how to pack a family of four into a two bedroom apartment here in Melbourne/how to do it all with no family around/where to bring Madden when I go into the hospital/and eee gad what next???
It’s all a bit overwhelming.
I know that things will come together in the end. But how? Seriously, how? I try to imagine where we will be and what job I will be doing and how we are going to get back to the states and if Eric will find suitable employment and how much time I should take off and how am I going to balance work, pregnancy, Madden and all, and I want to stick my head in the ground for the next 9 months and possibly longer.
Like I said…It’s wonderful and we want another child and I’m not getting any younger so there is no time like the present but how do we do all this and plan our futures and not get all worked up and not be consumed with worry and fret and how do we manage it without having our heads explode?
Monday, February 22, 2010
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Random Tuesday Thoughts - Toddlers, Islands, and Life Down Under
Madden has taken to going through our basket of laundry and placing various items throughout the house. Eric was home and heard the TV turn on. He walked into the living room to find Madden sitting up on the couch, remote control in hand, and wearing a pair of my underwear on her head.
***
Today we went to a street festival in St. Kilda. It was no place for a couple with a toddler. It would have been perfect if we were in our early 20’s and with a group of friends. The heat, the crowds, dodging people with our stroller...ugh. I guess it was just time to learn this valuable lesson. Next time we hang out in the “family friendly” area only or we stay home.
***
It’s Olympic season. Hooray! I love the WINTER Olympics. We are once again getting the full Australian coverage and I’m looking forward to the “Gold’s per Capita” rating that they did last time. On the coverage tonight, they described one particular American as a “good, knockabout bloke…nice guy that could pass for an Aussie.”
***
Why is meat from small animals called by the name of the animal and yet meat from large animals is called by something completely different. Example Chicken=chicken, and Pig = pork or ham or bacon. I really do want to know the reason for this. Oh, and what determines small animal vs. large animal. Goat meat is from goats, but no one ever declares they saw venison leaping through the forest.
***
I went to a week long work conference that was held on Hamilton Island in the Whitsundays. It was the most magical setting and the most beautiful place I’ve seen in Australia. If the Boundary Waters could have hotels, it MAY rival this location. The Island is PRIVATELY owned and it felt like a cross between Fantasy Island and the Twilight Zone.
(This is the view from my hotel room - photo taken by my mobile phone...)
We had this crazy team building exercise where we all got in golf carts and raced around the island in a scavenger hunt. I can’t believe they let us do it and I can’t believe no one was hurt. One person did get a speeding ticket and another did manage to do a 360 in the cart. The meeting was great despite the fact that we couldn’t swim in the water due to poisonous jellyfish and we were on the outskirts of a mid summer typhoon.
That’s so Australia – always something life threatening hiding around the corner.
****
Out baby is growing up. 16 months. She runs, she doesn’t take a bottle anymore, she eats more for breakfast than Eric and I combined, and she has launched herself into the world of mini tantrums. When we take something away from her, she will sob in betrayal and throw herself onto the floor in protest. At this point, it’s actually kind of cute. Yeah, I know it will get old – but for now, it just signifies that she is truly entering toddlerhood.
***
Eric is sitting on the couch watching “The New Poseidon Adventure” staring Steve Guttenberg. Seriously Eric, please.
***
Some of the hospital staff that I work with were clearing out a closet and they professed that they found a genuine sleigh. I went to have a look at it and laughed a bit to see a wooden decorative sled. They were proud of themselves for finding it and all talked about taking it to the mountains to go sledding in the wintertime. I tried to explain that it would probably not give them much satisfaction. They all seemed a bit bewildered as to why it wouldn’t work – ah, the innocence of those from a sun baked country.
***
It’s Cricket season here. Mind you, not the chirping bug, but the sporting event where they dress in white and try to take out each others wickets. We’ve tried to watch Cricket but we can honestly say there is probably no more boring sport ever invented. This makes watching TV golf look exciting. There is a great line from the show The West Wing where President Bartlett states, “I’m an intelligent man Charlie, but when someone tries to explain the rules of cricket I just want to hit them with a bat.”
Amen to that.
***
Today we went to a street festival in St. Kilda. It was no place for a couple with a toddler. It would have been perfect if we were in our early 20’s and with a group of friends. The heat, the crowds, dodging people with our stroller...ugh. I guess it was just time to learn this valuable lesson. Next time we hang out in the “family friendly” area only or we stay home.
***
It’s Olympic season. Hooray! I love the WINTER Olympics. We are once again getting the full Australian coverage and I’m looking forward to the “Gold’s per Capita” rating that they did last time. On the coverage tonight, they described one particular American as a “good, knockabout bloke…nice guy that could pass for an Aussie.”
***
Why is meat from small animals called by the name of the animal and yet meat from large animals is called by something completely different. Example Chicken=chicken, and Pig = pork or ham or bacon. I really do want to know the reason for this. Oh, and what determines small animal vs. large animal. Goat meat is from goats, but no one ever declares they saw venison leaping through the forest.
***
I went to a week long work conference that was held on Hamilton Island in the Whitsundays. It was the most magical setting and the most beautiful place I’ve seen in Australia. If the Boundary Waters could have hotels, it MAY rival this location. The Island is PRIVATELY owned and it felt like a cross between Fantasy Island and the Twilight Zone.
(This is the view from my hotel room - photo taken by my mobile phone...)
We had this crazy team building exercise where we all got in golf carts and raced around the island in a scavenger hunt. I can’t believe they let us do it and I can’t believe no one was hurt. One person did get a speeding ticket and another did manage to do a 360 in the cart. The meeting was great despite the fact that we couldn’t swim in the water due to poisonous jellyfish and we were on the outskirts of a mid summer typhoon.
That’s so Australia – always something life threatening hiding around the corner.
****
Out baby is growing up. 16 months. She runs, she doesn’t take a bottle anymore, she eats more for breakfast than Eric and I combined, and she has launched herself into the world of mini tantrums. When we take something away from her, she will sob in betrayal and throw herself onto the floor in protest. At this point, it’s actually kind of cute. Yeah, I know it will get old – but for now, it just signifies that she is truly entering toddlerhood.
***
Eric is sitting on the couch watching “The New Poseidon Adventure” staring Steve Guttenberg. Seriously Eric, please.
***
Some of the hospital staff that I work with were clearing out a closet and they professed that they found a genuine sleigh. I went to have a look at it and laughed a bit to see a wooden decorative sled. They were proud of themselves for finding it and all talked about taking it to the mountains to go sledding in the wintertime. I tried to explain that it would probably not give them much satisfaction. They all seemed a bit bewildered as to why it wouldn’t work – ah, the innocence of those from a sun baked country.
***
It’s Cricket season here. Mind you, not the chirping bug, but the sporting event where they dress in white and try to take out each others wickets. We’ve tried to watch Cricket but we can honestly say there is probably no more boring sport ever invented. This makes watching TV golf look exciting. There is a great line from the show The West Wing where President Bartlett states, “I’m an intelligent man Charlie, but when someone tries to explain the rules of cricket I just want to hit them with a bat.”
Amen to that.
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Yes, you are a foreigner
Sometimes I forget we are living in a foreign country. Australia is as western and modern as the US, the language is English, and the life here is very similar to life in America. There are the obvious differences of course; the accents, the driving on the left side of the road, the fact that December is hot and beautiful but July is miserable and cold…etc. etc. There are also many cultural differences, but it's probably far easier for an American to get used to living in Australia than somewhere like Japan or India.
So, naturally, we expect most things to be the same as in America and often find it a bit surprising when they are not. I also forget that I'm the foreigner!
Yesterday I was at a hospital to run a clinic. I went out to get a patient with a very simple name.
I went to the lobby and called out the name of the patient..
The 20 or so people in the waiting room didn't budge.
I called the name again. (These wasn't his real name, but let's just say the name was as simple as John Smith)
Again, no one moved.
I figured the patient must have taken a moment to use the toilet or run and grab a coffee at the shop next door.
So, I waited 10 minutes and returned to the lobby.
I called his name again.
No response.
He was my last patient to check, so I continued to wait.
Finally, I went to the scheduler's desk and let them know that "John Smith" probably wasn't going to arrive.
The scheduler informed me that he had checked in 20 minutes ago.
Finally, she said, "Let me help you."
She came out to the waiting area with me and repeated the name.
"John Smith", she said.
A gentleman who had been there THE WHOLE TIME stood up and came forward to us.
Now she didn't say this guys name any different than I had but he understood her and not me!
How hard is it to say "JOHN SMITH" anyway…and don't you stand up for just about anything that sounds remotely close to your actual name?
Eric's last name is Tjossem…people butcher that all the time and he still knows it's his name when someone calls it out.
The only excuse that the guy gave was that he didn't understand my strong Irish accent.
*********
We needed to have some documents certified for tax purposes. I figured I'd just find a notary public.
"A what?" said my coworkers.
Apparently, document certification is done here at the police station. So, yesterday after my patient not understanding my accent issue, I went to the local police station to get my certification.
I went to the public affairs room at the police station and waited in line with all the other foreigners for document certification. What I needed certified was every page of my passport to file with my Australian taxes. It was bizarre that I needed copies of my passport for tax reasons and bizarre how they were certified.
I returned to my office and had to tell me colleagues how strange I felt the whole experience had been. They didn't get it. They asked again about how it works in America and I tried to explain the notary public thing.
Have you ever tried to explain what a Notary Public is?
"So, it can be anyone", they asked?
"How do you find one?"
"They aren't police?"
"How do you trust them?"
And finally, "They charge a FEE??? That's outrageous!"
I guess when I think about it, the police certification makes a bit more sense.
*********
Thursday was Thanksgiving in America. Thursday here was just a regular old work day.
I miss the American holidays: Thanksgiving, Memorial Day, President's Day, and the 4th of July.
The holidays of "Cup Day, Australia Day, and Anzac weekend" are inadequate substitutes. It's like trying to celebrate Christmas without your own family traditions. You kind of miss them.
It was a stormy and muggy here on Thanksgiving Day and I had a long day at work. Two lightening strikes over the hospital shorted out the power in the surgery suite and we had a 15 minute "break" where we all just stood around in the emergency lighting making chit chat while waiting for the power to return so we could use the x ray equipment. (Yes, there was a patient quietly sleeping on the table in front of us).
The surgeon started to ask me about Thanksgiving and what it all meant. Everyone else started to pitch in with their questions as well. I should probably have had better answers.
"So, it was a harvest dinner to welcome the pilgrims?"
"But didn't the pilgrims then start to kill off the Indians?"
I didn't really know where to go from that question.
*Note to self: Become very informed about American holiday traditions, US health care system, government policies, government structure, and past presidents. People will ask you and if you have inadequate answers, you will feel silly.
So, naturally, we expect most things to be the same as in America and often find it a bit surprising when they are not. I also forget that I'm the foreigner!
Yesterday I was at a hospital to run a clinic. I went out to get a patient with a very simple name.
I went to the lobby and called out the name of the patient..
The 20 or so people in the waiting room didn't budge.
I called the name again. (These wasn't his real name, but let's just say the name was as simple as John Smith)
Again, no one moved.
I figured the patient must have taken a moment to use the toilet or run and grab a coffee at the shop next door.
So, I waited 10 minutes and returned to the lobby.
I called his name again.
No response.
He was my last patient to check, so I continued to wait.
Finally, I went to the scheduler's desk and let them know that "John Smith" probably wasn't going to arrive.
The scheduler informed me that he had checked in 20 minutes ago.
Finally, she said, "Let me help you."
She came out to the waiting area with me and repeated the name.
"John Smith", she said.
A gentleman who had been there THE WHOLE TIME stood up and came forward to us.
Now she didn't say this guys name any different than I had but he understood her and not me!
How hard is it to say "JOHN SMITH" anyway…and don't you stand up for just about anything that sounds remotely close to your actual name?
Eric's last name is Tjossem…people butcher that all the time and he still knows it's his name when someone calls it out.
The only excuse that the guy gave was that he didn't understand my strong Irish accent.
*********
We needed to have some documents certified for tax purposes. I figured I'd just find a notary public.
"A what?" said my coworkers.
Apparently, document certification is done here at the police station. So, yesterday after my patient not understanding my accent issue, I went to the local police station to get my certification.
I went to the public affairs room at the police station and waited in line with all the other foreigners for document certification. What I needed certified was every page of my passport to file with my Australian taxes. It was bizarre that I needed copies of my passport for tax reasons and bizarre how they were certified.
I returned to my office and had to tell me colleagues how strange I felt the whole experience had been. They didn't get it. They asked again about how it works in America and I tried to explain the notary public thing.
Have you ever tried to explain what a Notary Public is?
"So, it can be anyone", they asked?
"How do you find one?"
"They aren't police?"
"How do you trust them?"
And finally, "They charge a FEE??? That's outrageous!"
I guess when I think about it, the police certification makes a bit more sense.
*********
Thursday was Thanksgiving in America. Thursday here was just a regular old work day.
I miss the American holidays: Thanksgiving, Memorial Day, President's Day, and the 4th of July.
The holidays of "Cup Day, Australia Day, and Anzac weekend" are inadequate substitutes. It's like trying to celebrate Christmas without your own family traditions. You kind of miss them.
It was a stormy and muggy here on Thanksgiving Day and I had a long day at work. Two lightening strikes over the hospital shorted out the power in the surgery suite and we had a 15 minute "break" where we all just stood around in the emergency lighting making chit chat while waiting for the power to return so we could use the x ray equipment. (Yes, there was a patient quietly sleeping on the table in front of us).
The surgeon started to ask me about Thanksgiving and what it all meant. Everyone else started to pitch in with their questions as well. I should probably have had better answers.
"So, it was a harvest dinner to welcome the pilgrims?"
"But didn't the pilgrims then start to kill off the Indians?"
I didn't really know where to go from that question.
*Note to self: Become very informed about American holiday traditions, US health care system, government policies, government structure, and past presidents. People will ask you and if you have inadequate answers, you will feel silly.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
I'm Back
I have been incommunicado for a long time and I am not sure why. In fact I am not even going to look to see when my last entry was. As I scratch my head to come up with a reason none are very good: I am too busy, I don't have much to say, nothing exciting is happening. In reality none of that is true, I will have to blame laziness. This is not the first time that I have been a victim of this particular sin and I am sure won't be the last.
The most important update of course is Madden. Everyday she is doing something different than she did from the day be
fore. The learning and changes that take place blow my mind. If I could learn at half the rate that she does and move at half the speed, my intellectual pursuits and weight would never be a problem.
The blog photo at the top is taken during our trip to Port Douglas and
I love the name
As noted in previous blogs, TomKat and Suri were supposed to be our neighbors. That never panned out. I guess that the guy who owns the massive casino here is a fellow scientologist so they felt more comfortable staying with the gamblers. I did however get a gig as an extra on the movie that Katie was shooting here. I am amazed at the time that it takes to shoot these scenes. It was a 16 hour day of doing the same thing, but with different camera angles. My job was to follow Katie in through the "airport" and then pass her as she stops, so most of my day was spent standing right next to her (sh
e is good looking) and waiting. Since the day was so long she had visitors….Tom and Suri stopped by to say hello. The three of them were within 2 feet of me, but as a peon I was not supposed to speak to them. I did get the "how you doin" nod from Tom as he flashed the pearly whites, and Suri is so darn cute. It is a surreal experience to be that close to people for that long a period of time and never even say hello.
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