Sunday, March 28, 2010

Platypus Diaries Begin

The first matter of business is to apologize for not outing my pregnancy a bit sooner on the blog. There were two main reasons I didn’t just publish the news: I wanted to tell people in person when I was home for Christmas in Minnesota, and I have a couple very good friends that are having difficulties falling pregnant. I just wanted to tell them first and the thought of them finding out by reading it on a blog seemed a bit insensitive.

Then, time got away.

When I was pregnant with Madden, I kept a somewhat daily diary. I did the same thing this time around only I didn’t publish it to the blog. When we returned to Melbourne in January, it suddenly seemed like I’d been pregnant forever and I wasn’t sure about publishing my thoughts about those early days. Besides, when I read over the entries I realize that my fears and morning sickness coupled together to form some fairly negative reading.

I’ve changed my mind about publishing. What changed? Well, I read another blog and there was one particularly compelling entry about striving for perfection. It was written by a woman who takes blogging very seriously and often suffers writers block. She wrote a wonderfully personal and confessional entry about her need to get things right and how sometimes it’s in letting loose that she truly finds herself.

So, I’m feeling inspired. Yes, my entries were somewhat negative in the beginning. But, I wrote them and it was how I was feeling at the time. I shall not hide.

Madden’s diary was named “Tadpole Diaries” because we didn’t have a name and because she actually looked more like a tadpole than a baby on her first ultrasound.
This one is titled “Platypus Diaries” because even though this baby looked just like his or her sister (a tadpole) we had to add a bit of Australian flair to the name.
By the way, we’ve taken to calling the baby inside “Platy” for short.

So, over the next few weeks, I’ll catch up from September and fill you all in on this next big thing in our lives.

Here it goes….

Platypus Diaries #1

September 1, 2009
Shall we talk double strollers?
In May of 2010, we will be a family of four.

September 3, 2009
I’m waiting to tell Eric on Australian Fathers Day. That’s three whole days away.
I wanted to tell someone, so I took Madden in the other room and told her. She just wanted to play with her toys. I tried to look her in the eyes and get her to listen, but she just poked me in the mouth and giggled. It wasn’t very satisfying but at least I got to utter the words out loud to another person.

September 7, 2009
Eric is in the know! His reaction was one of surprise, excitement, and ….silence. I think we both feel a bit the same way. We are pleased and happy, but didn’t really expect it this soon and we face the reality of two kids just 19 months apart, life in a foreign country, unpaid maternity leave, him with no job, and renters that may or may not stay in our home in the states. Thoughts turn to wondering about when we should go home/how to do this/how to take two kids under two on a plane/how to find a job in the US when I’m great with child//how to pack a family of four into a two bedroom apartment here in Melbourne/how to do it all with no family around/where to bring Madden when I go into the hospital/and eee gad what next???

It’s all a bit overwhelming.

I know that things will come together in the end. But how? Seriously, how? I try to imagine where we will be and what job I will be doing and how we are going to get back to the states and if Eric will find suitable employment and how much time I should take off and how am I going to balance work, pregnancy, Madden and all, and I want to stick my head in the ground for the next 9 months and possibly longer.

Like I said…It’s wonderful and we want another child and I’m not getting any younger so there is no time like the present but how do we do all this and plan our futures and not get all worked up and not be consumed with worry and fret and how do we manage it without having our heads explode?


Susanica said...

Hi Beth. Why do I have the distinct feeling that everything will work out exactly as it should? Maybe because so far everything has worked out exactly as it should!

I remember your very early post about going out for lunch with friends with a toddler. It was hilarious and your angst about your ability to be a parent one day was so sincere. And look at the amazing life and child you have! So go ahead and be angsty. I, and everyone else who has ever known you don't have a doubt in the world that all will be just as it should be. Just my two cents! -Pep

Jenni said...

We were really overwhelmed when we first found out that I was pregnant with Miles, but you know what? He ended up being the perfect baby for this family at the perfect time. We hit the jackpot. I'm certain your luck will be the same.

Jenni said...

Also, a bit of assvice: Year one with two under two is all about survival and nothing more.

Bugaloo said...

I agree with these sentiments - you will be fine. It is the ultimate in logistics, but you'll find the rhythm and it will work. And, yes -- you just have to get through. Suddenly they'll be 6 and 9 and you'll wonder how you made it through a single day. Don't underestimate yourself, you always excel and whatever you undertake!